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This program is designed to guide families into thinking about being family and celebrating their ethnic heritage. A family can mean the one you were born into or the one you have chosen. It may be made up of relatives or committed friends. Whatever kind of family you area part of, your family is a place to belong and celebrate its uniqueness. Participants will reflect on how their own family was formed and share some of its unique characteristics; families will explore their ethnic heritage and celebrate some of their proud moments.

Family Heritage is a two-session program, with each session planned for ninety minutes. In a local congregation, this program could run two consecutive Sunday afternoons or evenings with a potluck meal before or after each session. Or, it could be scheduled as a Saturday program or part of a congregational weekend retreat.

UU families come in all shapes and sizes. This program is for all kinds of families - single-parent families, gay/lesbian families, blended families, families of color, biracial families, multicultural families, adoptive families, two-parent families, interfaith families, single person families, families who have person(s) with disabilities, extended families, matrix families, and more. It is ideal if whole family units participate together. Although smaller children may need parallel play time, their presence is important to the program. It is good to provide an area with art materials and quiet toys for their enjoyment when they are not actively involved with a family or group activity.

Family Heritage is grounded in three of our Unitarian Universalist Principles

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
• Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations; and
• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.

The primary goal of this program is to help families travel further on the Journey Toward Wholeness with a deeper understanding and mutual affirmation of their identity and heritage.

Co-leadership is recommended for this program. Leadership can be a combination of a religious professional and lay leader, a young adult and an elder adult, or youth and adult. Reflection and evaluation by the leaders (with the participating families) upon conclusion of the program may lay the foundation for subsequent Journey Toward Wholeness family programs.

Family Heriatge: Session One
Intergenerational Program
By Rev. Patricia Hoertdoerfer,
Children, Family, and Intergenerational Programs Director
Religious Education Department, UUA, Boston, MA

I: Who Is My Family?

Overview: 90 minutes
Gathering and Welcome: 5 minutes
Name Game: 10 minutes
Stories: Family Now, Families Forever: 20 minutes
Activity: Family Home 20 minutes
Family Celebrations: Family Crest and/or Family Poem 20 minutes
Closing Circle: 15 minutes

Session Goals for Participants

• To begin to know one another, as individuals and as families, and to feel comfortable in the group
• To understand some of the identity functions served by family units, and to understand that there are many kinds of family
• To recognize the uniqueness of each family configuration, and to reflect on the individuals and relationships that form and sustain families over time.

Materials

Chime or bell
Colored slips of paper
Pencils and pens
Bulletin board with photos and pictures of all kinds of families
Newsprint, markers, and tape
Crayons and colored pencils
9" x 12" pieces of colored and white poster boards
Copy of Family Crest handout for participants
Copy of Build-A-Poem handout for participants
Books: A Family is a Circle of People Who Love You by Doris Jasinek and Pamela Bell, Why Am I Different? By Norma Simon, How My Family Lives in America by Susan Kuklin, How My Parents Learned to Eat by Ina Friedman, and others Singing the Living Tradition hymnal

Gathering and Welcome
As people arrive, give each person a slip of paper and ask them to complete the phrase "A family is ________" with words and/or drawings. Tape these sentences in prominent places in the meeting room. Introduce yourselves as co-leaders and give a brief overview of the session.

Name Game
Introduce the Name Game by saying, "Names give an impression, set a tone, or make a statement to the people who hear them. Our names give us a sense of ourselves. Our first name is also known as our given name, given to us by parent, relative or friend. Family names are derived from a variety of sources:

Father's name (Ben-son or Ibn Saud)
An occupation (Miller or Metzger)
Physical characteristics (Klein or Armstrong)
Place (Dorf, Ono, del Rio)
Name choice (Cassius Clay-Muhammad Ali)

Invite participants to share their name and a word associated with their name. After the person has shared her/his name and word, the whole group repeats the name and word. As the game continues around the circle and each new person shares, the previous names and associated words are then repeated each time by the whole group. Prompting is encouraged when appropriate.

Stories: Family Now, Families Forever
Ask families to think about their family and the people in their family. Affirm each participant and each participant's family configuration by name, photo, and/or picture. Explain that they will have an opportunity to introduce their family through a unique family story.

Talk about families by saying, "There are many ways that families are alike, but no two families are ever exactly the same. Each family has a whole special set of memories and experiences, history, and heritage, that are not shared by any other family at all. Sometimes those memories may be tied to a particular place or may be captured in a story that is told and retold. Sometimes a unique word or phrase emerges that means something very special to our own family, but it would be totally meaningless to anyone else. In my family the words [Kein mensch muess muessen! / your trademark family words] have special meaning and this is my family story." [Tell your story.]

Now let's find out how each of our families is unique by looking at special things about our own family that is absolutely unique. In small groups of four persons, each participant is invited to tell the group about his/her special family word, or story, or place. Each person has three minutes and the chime will tell you that it's time to change to another family storyteller.

After 15 minutes ask the small groups to regather as a whole group. Invite one-word or phrase reflections from volunteers about their small group experience. Conclude by saying that every person in every family helps make that family what it is. If one person moves away or dies, the nature of the family changes. When a new member is added to a family by choice or birth, the family becomes a new family. We are engaged in making memories and making families every day!

Activity: Family Home
Distribute newsprint and markers to each family. Introduce the next activity by saying, "We have begun to know something about each of the families here and now we'll have an opportunity to find out a little more. Let's have each family draw a floor plan of their home, showing the rooms and outdoor area. Think about what might be the favorite place in the house for each member of your family and then draw a picture of each person in their favorite place."

After 15 minutes gather as a whole group again and invite each family to display their picture. Ask each family to briefly explain who the family members are and their favorite places as shown on the drawings.

Family Celebrations: Family Crest and/or Family poem
Invite family units to choose one of the following activities and encourage them to do the other activity in preparation for the next session of Family Heritage. Explain the two activities as written below, but invite them first to reflect on a few questions and discuss their answers as they engage in their chosen activity.
Share your own family experiences or refer to the experiences of families in the books on display to highlight family diversity and cultural diversity. Ask them to discuss their responses to some of the following questions:

Do all families have a mother, father, and children?
What are some ways children may come to live in a family?
Do you know any families with parents from different countries? Do they have different skin colors? Do they speak different languages? Do they have different religions?
Did your ancestors bring special customs, artifacts, clothing, and/or recipes with them into your family?
Who makes up your family? What family members do you live with? Who else is part of your family?
Do you think all families should be alike? Why or why not?

Family Crest
Long ago, some people had family crests representing their family and the heritage of their specific family. Today we'll make our own family crests to celebrate your family and your heritages. Explain the various categories in the crest and invite them to fill in each area with a word(s), a picture, a symbol, or whatever is meaningful to them. Distribute the Family Crest handout and the art supplies. Emphasize that every member of the family needs to contribute to the design and art work of their crest. Invite them to mount their family crest on a poster board and to tell them that during the closing circle they will be asked to share their crest with the whole group.

Family Poems
Every day we are engaged in making memories and making families. Invite families to capture some of their special family ways in simple poetry. Ask them to choose one of the following poetry forms to celebrate their family:

Diamond Poem,a poem describing opposite thoughts
Picture poem, a poem that is written in the shape of the subject
Acrostic poem, first letter of each line of the poem spells the name of the subject
Emotions poem, a five line poem that describes the color/sound/tase/smell/feel of an emotion
Haiku poem

Distribute the Family Poem handout and invite families to engage all family members in the poetry writing process. Write your poem and mount it on the poster board; decorate and autograph your poster board. Tell them that you will ask them to share their poem with the whole group during the closing circle.

Closing Circle
Invite families to gather in a closing circle and share their Family Crest/Family Poem. Celebrate each family and their special family ways with applause, hugs, or a song. Sing a UU song of your choice, such as "This Little Light of Mine," "Shalom," or "From You I Receive."

HANDOUT

Build-a-poem

Diamond poem: A poem for describing opposite thoughts.
First line: one word, noun
Third line: 3 words ending with--ing
Fourth line: 4 words marking the change (transition line)
Fifth line 3 words ending with-ing
Sixth line 2 words to describe it
Seventh line: 1 word opposite to the first

Picture poem: The poem is written in the shape of the subject...A drawing with words.

Acrostic poem: A poem in which the first letter
Of each line spells the name of the subject.

F
A
M
I
L
Y

Emotions Poem: A 5 line poem that describes the color,
Smell, taste, sound, and feel of an emotion.

Happy Family
Color is sunny
Smell is salty
Taste is sweet
Sound is lilting
The feel is warm

Haiku:
First line--5 syllables
Second line--7 syllables
Third line--5 syllables

Out of memory,
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

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Family Heritage: Session II
Intergenerational Program
By Rev. Patricia Hoertdoerfer,
Children, Family, and Intergenerational Programs Director
Religious Education Department, UUA, Boston, MA

II: Who Is My Neighbor?

Overview: 90 minutes
Gathering and Welcome: 5 minutes
Family Game: 10 minutes
Stories: Ancestors and Family Customs: 30 minutes
Activity: Families in My Neighborhood: 15 minutes
Family Celebrations: Ethnic/Cultural Hero/ines: 15 minutes
Closing Circle: 15 minutes

Session Goals for Participants

• To celebrate the new friendships, as individuals and as families, that have formed in this group
• To explore the family diversity and ethnic, religious, and cultural background of families in our neighborhoods
• To discover and celebrate the ethnic heritage of each family through their songs, games, language, stories, and special occasions

Materials

Chime or bell
Colored slips of paper
Drawing paper and writing paper
Pencils and pens
Bulletin board with photos and pictures of neighborhood faith communities, ethnic restaurants, family reunions, and cultural celebrations
Newsprint, markers and tape
Crayons and colored pencils
Books: Families A Celebration of Diversity, Commitment, and Love by Aylette Jenness, How My Family Lives in America by Susan Kuklin, Everybody Cooks Rice by Norah Dooley, Who Belongs Here? by Margy Knight, and others
Singing the Living Tradition hymnal

Session II: Who Is My Neighbor?

Gathering and Welcome
As people arrive, give each person a slip of paper and ask them to complete the phrase "A neighbor is __________" with words and/or drawings. Tape these sentences in prominent places in the meeting room. Welcome participants to the second and final gathering of the Family Heritage program. Summarize your first gathering and give a brief overview of this session. Family Game
Review the Family Crest and Family Poem activities and celebrations from last session. Invite families to share the alternative activity that they composed in preparation for today's session. If there are families without a completed family crest or family poem to share, invite them to compose their Family Sense Poem extemporaneously. Give them an example, such as:

My family is RED like love.
It SOUNDS like laughter and noise.
It FEELS like a big fleece blanket.
It LOOKS like six people.
It TASTES like German chocolate.
It SMELLS like applesauce.

Invite families to share their crest or poem. If some families are struggling with their extemporaneous compositions, invite them to omit certain lines and compose a three or four line poem. After each family has shared, the whole group affirms them by repeating the names of their family members.

Stories: Ancestors and Family Customs
Ask families to think about their neighbors and the families in their neighborhood. Affirm the variety of neighborhoods and the diversity of families in these neighborhoods by naming different ethnic groups and by referring to the photos and pictures on the bulletin board.

Talk about neighbors and neighborhoods by saying, "America is a land of immigrants. Within the past four centuries one thing that many Americans have in common is that we are descended from immigrants or we are immigrants. Of course, there is a major exception - the various American Indian tribes who live on this land and who have been here for thousands of years.

"Many immigrants came willingly to this country and they hoped to find a better world. Many suffered great hardships on the voyage across the sea; many experienced great pain in leaving loved ones, friends, and everything familiar. But to many ethnic groups this country was the land of opportunity.

"But for one group, immigration was not voluntary. Africans were brought to America in chains in the 1600s and 1700s as slaves. The death and disease of these Africans far exceeded the horror of any other group that came to America's shores. Those who survived are the ancestors of slaves who spent centuries in servitude.

"Another group of especially exploited immigrants were the Chinese who arrived in the mid-1800s as cheap labor. Later, other Asians with different cultures arrived; most recently, the boat people from Vietnam and other southeast Asian countries.

"In the common destiny of immigrants, there are some who can trace their heritages easily and some who have great difficulty tracing their heritages. Through years of conquest and oppression, as well as opportunity and achievement, the American people have discussed important questions-the collective question of "Who is an American" and the individual question of "Who are my people."

"Now let's find out about our ancestors and our families ethnic groups".

In small groups of three or four persons, each participant is invited to tell the group about her/his ancestors and her/his family ethnic identity and traditions. Ask them to talk about their parents/grandparents/great grandparents and their countries of origin, including languages, religions, and cultural identity. Ask them to share one special ethnic custom in their family-clothing, music, food, or holiday. Each person has five minutes and the chime will tell him or her when it's time to change to another family storyteller.

After 20 minutes ask the small groups to regather as a whole group. Invite one-word or phrase reflections from volunteers about their small group experience. Conclude by saying that every person in every family helps make that family what it is. The many interactions and interrelations of ethnic ways and family customs determine the ever evolving nature and identity of each family.

Activity: Families in My Neighborhood
Distribute newsprint and markers to each family. Introduce the next activity by saying, "All over the world, people live together in family groups-to be close to one another, to love one another, to help one another, and to play together. There are many different kinds of families, in other countries and in our own neighborhoods. I'll tell you about some of the families in my neighborhood as I draw on newsprint a few houses on my street.

"My next door neighbors Tony and Judy Antoine and their brand new baby, Jamil. They came from Puerto Rico to America to study at Boston University five years ago and fell in love and then married. They decided to start their new family here. I love to visit them and play with the baby.

"In the next house live the Rosenbergs and their six children. Two children, Eve and Jody, are adopted from Korea; two teenagers, Daniel and Aaron, are from the father's previous marriage. And two-year-old twins, Emily and Joshua, complete this family where everyone helps with all the chores and babysitting to make the family run smoothly. I often see them on Saturdays walking to Beth-El temple.

"My other next door neighbors Eric Robinson and Harold Johnson, two men who love one another and have chosen to live together and care for one another. They are a family with no children. Eric has a wonderful collection of Norwegian wooden spoons from his great grandparents, and Harold tends to their rose garden.

"This is another family with no children. Bea Hastings with her grown-up daughter Tamara, and her mother, Sophie, live together and care for one another. While Bea and Tamara work outside the home every day, Sophie cooks for them and takes care of their adorable dog, Patsy. Sophie speaks no English and Patsy responds only to Russian words.

"Think about the families in your neighborhood and draw a neighborhood map naming the homes and families. Identify the different ethnic groups in your neighborhood."

After 10 minutes, gather as a whole group again and invite each family to display their neighborhood map and name the different ethnic groups in your neighborhood. Affirm the variety of families in this land of immigrants.

Family Celebration: Ethnic/Cultural Hero/ines
Introduce this activity by saying, "Every culture and every society has its share of creative, talented people who have achieved fame and contributed to our well-being. Every ethnic group is blessed with its share of outstanding women and men who have nourished our spirit and contributed to our well-being - sages, problem solvers, dancers, scientists, humanitarians, entrepreneurs, political leaders, musicians, social reformers, prophets, explorers, writers, and poets. "At the same time, it is good to remember that average people make their marks too, through good citizenship, hard work, and daily contributions to the quality of life. We and they are all models and examples for our families." Invite participants to choose an interesting and exciting personality from an ethnic group with which they identify. Whole families or individual members of families or clusters of families are asked to gather in small groups of five to six persons. Invite each group to choose their ethnic hero/ine and put together a brief story about this person. Tell them that you will ask them to present their ethnic hero/ine's story for the whole group during closing circle. Encourage each person to participate in their presentation to the whole group.

Closing Circle
Invite families to gather in a closing circle and share their ethnic hero/ine's story. Celebrate each presentation with an affirmation of that hero/ine and their contributions to the life of every American and people of every culture with applause and/or song. Songs that might be appropriate include "We've Got the Whole World In Our Hands," "We the Heirs of Many Ages," or "From You I Receive."

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