A: Rebinding Generations Together -- Matthew 6:12
In Biblical terms, the year 2000 is a Jubilee Year, a time when debts are forgiven, slaves freed and land restored to those who have lost it. Jesus taught a challenging prayer when he told us to ask God to "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Jesus and the spirit of jubilee call us to break all yokes, to let go of longheld grudges and forgive, and to cancel debts. These yokes, grudges, and debts build barriers that break the bonds of love binding families and generations together. What an opportunity the approaching Jubilee Year presents to us to rebind the generations and experience more of the joy, love, and growth that God intends for us in family.

Yokes
We place yokes on others and restrict their growth by our low expectations of them, by confining them to certain roles or tasks, and by harping on their shortcomings. Isaiah's description of the Messiah in 42:3 is an important reminder of how we should treat one another in our families: "He will not break the bruised reed, nor quench the flickering flame." A wonderful children's song, "See Me Beautiful," repeats this urgent message: "See me beautiful; see the best in me. It may take some time; it may be hard to find; but see me beautiful." (from Teaching Peace by Red Grammer). One simple yet challenging yoke we can all remove is to refuse to think the worst of others and try always to see the best, the beautiful, in all family members and fan rather than quench their "flickering flame."

Grudges
We all have them, but we won't experience the joy of jubilee and the fullness of family love unless we drop these grudges. Some families have "grudge jars" so that family members can write down the slights and hurts they have experienced and let go of them by placing the card or paper in the grudge jar. Jesus's parable of the prodigal son sets a high standard for parents, but one father's experience offers a small contemporary example. The father confessed how angry he was when he discovered that a Lenten gift of his favorite salami he was saving for Easter week had disappeared from its hiding place deep in the family refrigerator. He stormed around the house, demanding that the guilty party fess up. His three children remained silent. The anger kept building but the grace of God broke through. Remembering the parable of the prodigal son, he wondered whether forgiveness might work better than threats. So he went out and bought another stick of salami and invited the whole family to a "happy hour" for salami, crackers, and soda. Nothing further was said about the incident. Whether or not the children learned anything from the experience, the father experienced great relief and perhaps something of the spirit of jubilee.

Debts
Some debts are psychological, others are financial, and both can be redeemed in the spirit of jubilee to further bind the generations together. Some parents never let their children forget how much they have done for them, making their "gifts" more like clubs or yokes. When we reflect on how much God has given us through family members and others, it becomes easier to freely give to others. Someday our children will have lots of opportunities to "repay" us directly, but maybe even more so indirectly, by gifting their own children and others with the same spirit of generosity they learned from us. But jubilee is also about forgiving financial debts. "Fairness" is not the standard that jubilee and Jesus offer; rather, it's the lavishness of God's love. We don't want to encourage or reward selfish spending or financial irresponsibility, but we are asked to manifest the lavishness of God's love toward family members who have borrowed from us.

Discussion Starters:

1. Have you yoked any members of your family (parents, children, siblings)? What can you do to see family members more positively and affirm their good qualities? How can you redistribute family maintenance tasks so that all persons feel needed, valued, and are given opportunities for continual growth? How can you open your heart and home more generously, so that all family members feel loved and included in your life?
2. How can you model God's forgiveness of you in the way you deal with those who have hurt you in some way? How can you reach out to others in your family whom you have hurt, apologize, and make amends for what you have done to them?
3. Have you held any family members in bondage by reminding them of all you have done for them? Are there any financial debts that it would be good for you to reduce or cancel altogether during the Jubilee Year?

B: "The Things That Make for Peace" -- Luke 19:41-42
As we end the 20th century, we can look back on a century that put incredible stress on families. Mobility has weakened the extended family. The proliferation of electronic toys has led family members into separate rooms to watch their own television sets or play their computer games. The spirit of individualism gained great momentum in the 1970s and 1980s. And violence has invaded our communities, schools, and homes at an alarming rate. Jesus must be weeping over our communities and families and pleading again for us as he did for Jerusalem: "If this day you only knew the things that make for peace." The beginning of a new century presents an urgent opportunity to learn and do the things that make for peace and thereby turn these destructive trends around and rebind the generations. And it isn't all work.

Outdoor activities
With summer close at hand, families can escalate their efforts to build or rebuild generational togetherness through more relaxed outdoor time together. Gardening can be an intergenerational gem. Sometimes grandparents can enlist the help of children more effectively than parents can. This is also true of nature experiences. What is a challenging hike with grandma or grandpa would be a "forced march" with mom or dad. Hiking, camping, and other exploring activities have great potential for bringing family members together and reconnecting us with the earth. Environmentalist Rachel Carson wrote a beautiful book, A Sense of Wonder, illustrated with even more beautiful photos of her nature experiences with her young nephew. We can experience our own "sense of wonder" intergenerationally and maybe even create our own collection of reflections and photos.

Indoor play and storytelling
Resources like Just Family Nights give families ample material for family night activities and celebrations combining fun, faith, and fellowship and countering a dangerous trend toward less and less family time. TV is especially worrisome. The stories that used to bind generations together have largely been replaced by television shows, often violent and always surrounded by an atmosphere of blatant consumerism. Parents and grandparents need to reclaim the role of storyteller, with the aid of family photo albums, scrapbooks, home videos, and children's books that keep alive the stories of societal heroes. Some grandparents have audiotaped or videotaped themselves telling or reading their favorite stories to their grandchildren, preserving these stories and generational bonds for generations to come.

Generations to come
The more individualist our society has become, the more essential and urgent it becomes for us to promote a sense of the common good and to think and live as if the earth were not inherited from our ancestors but loaned to us by our children, "Seventh generation" thinking and living -- making decisions in part on the basis of their impact on seven generations to come can begin with simple but continual acts of reducing, reusing, and recycling.As it becomes more difficult for young people to get through adolescence and then establish themselves financially and relationship-wise, the long-term nurturing role of adults becomes even more essential. Perhaps more often than ever before, young people need parents and grandparents to be "harbors" of healing, encouragement, and love.

A century of nonviolence
In the face of escalating violence at the end of the 20th Century, families are being offered the opportunity to participate in a decade and century of nonviolence by escalating the nonviolent love of Jesus, in part through the "Family Pledge of Nonviolence." This seven-component intergenerational way of living begins within the family itself with "respect self and others," "communicate better," "listen carefully," and "forgive." But it also reaches beyond the family by asking us to respect nature," "play creatively and cooperatively," and "be courageous" in challenging violence and injustice wherever we find it. These are among the "things that make for peace" that Jesus pleads with us to embrace as a way of rebinding generations, rebinding communities, and rebinding our global family.

Discussion Starters

1. What kinds of outdoor activities could you do with others in your family, especially this summer? How could your family reconnect with the earth on a regular basis?
2. Are occasional family nights a possibility for your family or with members of your extended family? How could you increase storytelling in your family?
3. Are there ways you can work together as a family in being better stewards of the earth's resources? How can you make your heart and home more available for family members who need special healing, encouragement, or love?
4. As part of the Family Pledge of Nonviolence, how can you improve communication and problem solving in your family? How can you become a better listener? What kinds of violence or injustice do you run into as a family? How can you work together to counter any of these?