For the first time in years, we held a celebration dinner to kick-off the fund drive at a local restaurant. As Communications Director, I was asked to help prepare an informational brochure for the event.

At our first meeting in December when I learned about this dinner, my first questions were more in line with my role as a member of the RE Council and parent of two very young boys: is this a family dinner? Are children included? The first response was NO.

The feeling at that time was that since the church was paying for the dinner, families could take care of their own child care. I was very disturbed and felt extremely frustrated that those planning this dinner hadn't even thought about families and children. My response to the idea of an "adults only" dinner was: then there won't be any parents of young children there. And this dinner will not have the intended result of building community. It will only serve to point out that we have at least two churches, divided by age.

The fund drive chairs agreed with me and worked very diligently to plan a children's celebration. The restaurant that hosted the dinner is in an old hotel, so we reserved a room for the children, hired our regular child care providers (not members of the church - we wanted to make sure all members could enjoy this dinner), planned an appropriate menu, and we brought toys and games.

Everyone had a wonderful time. We promoted this idea heavily and it was a success. We had at least 15 families and about 30 children participating. The adults number about 250.

I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been asked to that first meeting. I think we might have ended up in a very similar, very awkward, very frustrating situation.

I think the suggestion that we need parents on these committees is valid. I also wonder if there is a way a church can move from handling these events on a strictly "case by case" basis by whomever happens to be planning an event to considering the participation of families and young children in each event as a matter of course.

How are we going to attract families and young children if we don't include them in the life of the church - and that includes the fund drive. Especially the fund drive. It is my opinion that a pledge represents more than the one person signing the check. It represents the contribution of an entire family.

Good luck with this situation, and know that you're not the only one and yours is not the only church dealing with this problem.

We've struggled with this problem, too. This year we combined our two services to pack the sanctuary for an intergenerational service. The service was filled with music from our adult choir, our junior choir, and our young adults. Three stories from "Once the Hodja" formed the focus and each minister, including our intern, spoke briefly in relationship to the story. A member of the congregation had written words to "Blest Be the Tie that Binds." We gave each person a piece of colored ribbon in their order of service (I stole this idea from Greg Stewart in Pasadena), and we tied them together in a huge chain that extended around the sanctuary, and was lifted up to the balcony. It has remained for the whole month as a reminder.

The lunch used all the rooms in the church. Whole families sat with their canvassers and talked about what the church means to them - personally or as a family. We had bag lunches (about 400) for everyone, and they were on the tables as people came out of the sanctuary. Pledge cards were filled out, and financial info which had been mailed to each family ahead of time was also available. The kids had special placemats with puzzles, mazes, and coloring designs. A cup of pencils, pens and colored markers was in the center of each table for all to use.

After the lunch, a magician held forth in the sanctuary for children and adults who wished to participate. About 100 people stayed. Others helped with the clean-up, and with the delivery of the extra lunches (we intentionally ordered extra) to a local shelter.

General reaction to the Sunday was very favorable, and the few glitches will be fairly easy to iron out next year. The overwhelming vote is to repeat the format next year.