WHY: The family is acknowledged to be the central social organization within society. It is something universally understood in once sense, yet little understood in another. While we know intellectually that a family is not simply a mother, father, and two children, emotionally we revert to that vision.

I felt it was important to lift up a diversity of families in our congregation in order to enlarge the congregation's understanding and appreciation of "family." It has become one of the most anticipated services of the year. Because we conducted the first such service in December, the first group of families chose to call it "Wholly Family." The name has stuck. This year we will celebrate our tenth Wholly Family service.

HOW: I select 4-6 families and invite them to participate. We have had:

• Interracial families
• Adoptive families, often of interracial children
• Single persons for whom the church is family
• Gay and lesbian families, with or without children
• Families with mom, dad, and children
• Several generations of a family in the church
• Single persons for whom a pet(s) are family
• Second marriage families
• A straight couple who have joined their lives but not in marriage
• An intentionally extended family made up of singles, couples, and their children
• A couple which has chosen not to have children

We meet four times. The content of their sharings comes from them. I encourage them to talk about their family traditions, the things that bind them together as a family. In the process the families get to know one another. The fourth meeting is a rehearsal in the Meeting House, on Saturday before the services, where everyone shares their words with the mike (children share too if they choose), and encouragement to enunciate, etc.

We create an altar on which each puts something that symbolizes their family: a telephone, a live Christmas tree, an ornament, homemade foode, pictures, a musical instrument, etc. This is all done the day before the service.

The congregation has grown a far richer appreciation for what family means. The participants are taken to the heart of the congregation and love the experience of sharing their lives.

Next to the chalice each family places a candle and candlestick of their choice. When a family has shared they light their candle and then the congregation gives them a blessing: "We honor and bless your family in its love, meaning, beauty and uniqueness." At other times we have sung to them: "From you I receive, to you I give." (#402)