I recently reread an article on religious education philosophy written by Starr Williams in 1980 and realized how much she spoke to the present. In her article, Williams talks about how hard it can be to get the children to church every Sunday and about how unsupportive many of our congregations are to family needs. She suggests that Unitarian Universalist parents have rights in their religious communities and lists some as:

• the right to expect us to know their children's names;
• the right to anticipate support for their own styles of parenting;
• the right to be first in line, with their children, at pot lucks;
• the right to be last in line for taking care of infants during church.

"Parents have every right to expect their religious community to provide significant experiences of wonder, awe, joy the whole family can participate in. They have every right to assume that when the religious community mourns, the family is expected to be among the mourners. Parents have every right to expect their religious community to figure out ways their children can participate in projects for human justice." And later, "Our parents, committed to Unitarian Universalism, are the religious educators of their children, who are our future."

So here's where "the rubber meets the road." Given our needs as a church community to have full and vibrant programs happen on Sunday morning, and the needs of our parents to lead less hectic, committed lives, how can we as a religious people be most helpful? No easy answers here, folks, but a few ideas: The Burlington, VT Unitarian Universalist church has been offering a Friday night happening once a month for all ages. It includes a pot luck and intergenerational game time and then an adult discussion while the children are in supervised play. Many of our congregations have weekend retreats for all ages with lots of fun activities. There are adult curricula on Unitarian Universalist parenting which can be led as early Sunday morning programs or evening classes. Some of the congregations have added a youth to their social action committee or found ways for the RE classes to participate in social justice issues.

Too often we separate RE from "adult church." We expect parents to be the church school teachers and the RE committee members instead of giving them the break they need while we spend quality time getting to know the kids. Parenting in the '90s wasn't easy, and I don't see signs that it will become easier in the future. Let's spend some time asking our parents what they need from their religious community and then working together to find ways to answer those needs.