REACH Fall 2000
CONTENTS
ADULT
Book Discussion Guide from Judith A. Frediani
Book Discussion Guide from Marjorie Bowens-Wheatley
Book Discussion Guide from Robette Dias
Book Discussion Guide from Jacqui James
Planning Your First Men's Retreat

CURRICULUM
The Great OWL Detective
An Approach to Religious Education
Secret Pal
Meditation on the UU Principles
Book Review: Sky Sash So Blue
Lessons of Loss
Program for a Youth Group

LEADERSHIP
Religious Education to Families
Annual Report from a Minister of Religious Education
Recommended Salary for DREs
Child Abuse
Religious Educators Philosophize About Their Calling
Pointers for Teacher Recruitment
LREDA Grant Program
Religious Education Grants and Scholarships
It Takes a Village
How to Kill a Religion...Or Help it Grow
Participatory Bulletin Boards
What Does an RE Class Leader Do?

PARENTING
Thoughts About Families
Book Review: Whole Parenting Guide
Intergenerational Church Celebration

SOCIAL JUSTICE
National Observance of Children's Sabbaths
Junior High Youth Work Against Racism
Six Women in a Circle
How Are The Children?
Children Sermon
UU Involvement in India

TEACHING
The Philosophy of Ramo
Essex Conversations

WORSHIP
Acorn Service
It's Not Easy to Be A UU Kid
Finding Meaning in Music
UU Twelve Days of Christmas
How Adam and Eve Grew up
Worship With Children: A Teacher's Guide
Minister's Musings
Christmas Reading
Port Towsend Christmas Story
Light of Life
Name that Tune
Religion in life Recognition Ceremony

YOUTH
Anti-Racism Movie Resources
Out of the Basement and Into the Congregation

HOW TO KILL A RELIGION...OR HELP IT GROW
Meg Muckenhoupt & Dan Harper
Cambridge, MA & Lexington, MA

It's the middle of the winter and you're bored. How about plotting to destroy your church? It's not as hard as you think. Here are four easy steps to denominational death:

  1. Separation. Gather together the most energetic, creative, socially conscious new members of your church in one big room. Let's call them the "Boosters." Tell them that they're special, wonderful people. Continue by telling them they're so amazing that they have different needs from the rest of the congregation, which would be better filled by meeting with other Boosters than bothering the rest of the church.
  2. Isolation. Arrange for the Boosters to have their own meetings at times when no one else is in the building. Encourage them to take on new leadership roles and responsibilities, but only in groups made up entirely of Boosters. Casually mention that non-Booster committees are "boring" and "don't get anything done."
  3. Disaffection. Lead small-group worship services where each Booster gets to talk about his or her own problems but isn't required to respond to what anyone else has to say. They'll get used to concentrating on themselves instead of learning how to listen and worship as part of a congregation. If a few of the Boosters do sneak off and attend the regular Sunday-morning service, they'll complain that the service is "boring" and "doesn't speak to me," and leave.
  4. Rejection. After the Boosters have been meeting for a few years, tell them that they can no longer use the church. Do not invite them to New U classes. Let them find their own heartbroken way back -- they will if they're really UU, after all.

This scheme is guaranteed to be effective. After a few years, only weary refugees from other religions will be left in your church -- hardly a group that can maintain its numbers, much less threaten the right-thinking world with a liberal faith. There's even a name for this plan. It's called the YRUU youth group. And you wonder where all the young adults are... But what if you don't want to kill our religion -- what can you do? Here are four steps to prevent denominational death:

  1. Reaching Out. Make sure youth are not separated from you and the congregation. Know all the youth in your congregation by name. Introduce youth to those younger and older than themselves. Minister to youth, allow yourself to be ministered to by youth, and get the congregation and the staff to do the same. Offer them an age-appropriate class like The New U (many Coming of Age programs fill this role). Afterwards, invite them to sign the membership book and explain to them the benefits and responsibilities of membership -- be explicit about the privilege of voting and the need to pledge. Recognize all new members, including youth, during a Sunday morning worship service.
  2. Integration. Integrate youth into the wider life of the congregation. You can't rely on one youth advisor (especially one who is not a member of your congregation) to do this. If you have four members of your congregation act as youth advisors, it's easier on the advisors (and much, much easier to recruit them) and gives the youth four times as many adult contacts. But you need to go beyond that. Have the youth run at least one worship service a year, and help them plan it (don't take over the planning yourself, of course). Explain to youth how to negotiate church politics and how they can share power with adults. Make sure there is a youth representative on your governing board. Help youth join committees, especially search committees. When youth become members, remind them when to vote in congregational meetings.
  3. Growth of Affection. When youth and adults work together, play together, and worship together, you find that they begin to make friends with each other. Needless to say, both youth and adults value these friendships. When there is more affection between individuals, you'll find that more and more ministry is being done together. As more and more ministry is done, people gain affection for Unitarian Universalism and they become more devoted to the causes of liberal religion (their pledges tend to go up, too).
  4. Moving On and Staying in Touch. Youth grow up. When they grow up, more often than not they move away from the communities they grew up in. But we can help them stay in touch with Unitarian Universalism. When they are still youth, get them to continental events like General Assembly or district events like youth conferences or district meetings, so they get a sense of the wider UU movement. When they move away from home, recognize that transition with a bridging ceremony. Make sure they continue to get the congregation's newsletter for at least a few years. Send them printed copies of sermons for a few years, or give them a subscription to the Church of the Larger Fellowship's Student Service. Give them the address of nearby UU congregations and advice about how to get involved in a new church or fellowship. Make sure they are on the mailing list for Ferment, the UU young adult newsletter. Put them in touch with the UU Young Adult Office.
And help complete the cycle in your own congregation. When young adults who grew up as Unitarian Universalists walk in the door of your congregation, recognize that they are not the same as "come-outers," adults who come out of other faith traditions. Contrary to popular belief, young adults who were born UUs do not require as much orientation and will be ready for leadership much sooner than middle-aged newcomers.

This scheme is guaranteed to be effective in strengthening Unitarian Universalism. After a few years, you will see increased enthusiasm both in youth and in adults. Soon, large numbers of born UUs will augment the refugees from other religions, and we'll be on our way to increasing our numbers so that we can change the world with our liberal faith. There's even a name for this plan. It's called love. And now you know how we can hold on to our youth and young adults. Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?


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