The Great Owl Detective has swooped into REACH to help us illuminate one of the great Our Whole Lives mysteries: how we get elementary Our Whole Lives off the ground in our congregations! Our detective, a guest writer for REACH, shares these discoveries below.

Hello religious educators! In my flights throughout the US and Canada, I’ve swooped by a number of congregations that want to begin using Our Whole Lives: Sexuality Education for Grades K-1 and Our Whole Lives: Sexuality Education for Grades 4-6 and are wondering where to start. The idea of sexuality education for grades K-1 and 4-6 seems to many, well, new and mysterious! People I spoke with had many questions. Here are some of the answers I got!

Question #1: Why should a congregation offer these programs?
To respond to this question, I asked two DREs and a parent to share their thoughts.
"The most important part of the Our Whole Lives for Grades 4-6 curriculum was that it opened lines of communication between parents and young people. Parents of children in this age group sometimes need help in raising sexuality issues with their children. Not only were the children themselves eager to talk about the issues with their parents, they were able to 'check out' information they had received from peers or the media."
--Gail Forsythe-Vail, Director of Religious Education,
North Parish Unitarian Universalist Church, North Andover, MA

"As DRE, I was impressed with the completeness of the Our Whole Lives for Grades 4-6 curriculum. I liked the way parents were invited to be a part of the course if they and their children chose. All the children and parents liked the companion book, It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris [Candlewick Press, 1996]. Parents had no trouble getting their children to do this homework."
--Barbara Wallace, Director of Religious Education,
First Unitarian Church of Hamilton, ON

"Our Whole Lives for Grades K-1 created a lot of good conversation in our home. The books I brought home for my kindergartner were seen and read by my ten-year-old, and we all had a healthy, constructive talk about sexuality."
--parent, Our Whole Lives for Grades K-l field test

Other reasons I like include: helping young people to understand and express themselves in healthy, positive ways; helping young people to recognize and avoid abuse; and showing that the religious community affirms bodies as well as minds, hearts, and spirits.

Question #2: How do these programs involve parents?
Our Whole Lives affirms parents as the primary sexuality educators of their children. The Grades K-1 and 4-6 programs support parents in this role by inviting their involvement in the programs in many ways. We asked Patricia Hoertdoerfer, UUA Children, Family, and Intergenerational Programs Director, for details.

There are three essential ways that we invite parents to participate and engage in these programs. First, before the curriculum is taught, there is a parents’ meeting and a two-and-one-half-hour Parent/Child Orientation Program that is required. Second, parents are invited to participate in the first and last sessions, and after each session children bring to their families a HomeLink messages to strengthen communication between parents and children. Third, The Parent Guide to Our Whole Lives Grades K-1 and Grades 4-6 is a session-by-session guide to what children learn in the Our Whole Lives program and a resource for parents in answering tough questions about sexuality issues.

Sexuality education is a lifelong process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and values about identity, intimacy, relationships, and sexual health. And The Parent Guide is a key resource to opening communication and creating a healthy family environment that nurtures trust between the generations. Order The Parent Guide for each parent to reinforce the partnership between church and home.

Question #3: How do we fit these programs in with our regular Sunday school classes?
This question, I discovered, has a couple of viable answers, outlined here by Cynthia Breen, Director of the UUA Department of Religious Education

"Some congregations have chosen to teach Our Whole Lives for Grades K-1 or 4-6 on Sunday mornings during the worship service. Other congregations have chosen to teach the programs in the evening, either on Sunday, or a weekday. There are advantages and disadvantages to both of these options. Newcomers are not welcome to join Our Whole Lives in midstream; parents must be fully oriented before students can participate, and group bonding is disrupted by newcomers. If Our Whole Lives is the only option offered for K-1 young people on Sunday morning, then visiting children of this age group must be provided with an alternative program or activity. The advantages of a Sunday morning class are ease of transportation and lower likelihood of scheduling conflicts in families. An evening class would solve the problem of newcomers but it could prove more complicated for transportation and scheduling."

Question #4: Why isn’t there a program for grades 2 and 3?
Judith A. Frediani, UUA Curriculum Director, illuminated this great mystery for us.

"When the Sexuality Education Task Force was conducting needs assessment in preparation for developing Our Whole Lives, parents and congregations asked for sexuality education programs for early elementary school and late elementary school. We didn’t hear requests for middle-elementary resources. Our Whole Lives is not designed to be a program that an individual student would take every year, or even every other year. We have many other great religious education programs for young people, and there needs to be time for those, too!"

In addition, I discovered a review by Pat Hoertdoerfer in REACH of a fantastic new book called It’s So Amazing: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families, by Robie H. Harris and illustrated by Michael Emberley. She highly recommends it to bridge the gap between Our Whole Lives Grades K-1 and Our Whole Lives Grades 4-6.

This book is a terrific teaching tool for parents and teachers of 7- to 12-year-old-children with affirmations of homosexuality, families of all kinds, masturbation, and growing up. It is an excellent resource to use at home or in religious education programs to learn about and celebrate the gift of sexuality and to practice the Our Whole Lives values of respect, reciprocity, and responsibility.

Question #5: Isn’t there a big developmental difference between a 4th grader and a 6th grader?
Yes, there is. This wise owl agrees with you, and so did the developers of Our Whole Lives. That is why it’s made clear in the introduction to Our Whole Lives for Grades 4-6 that the program is intended for either a grades 4 & 5 group, a grades 5 & 6 group, or a group composed of a single grade. The leaders are expected to tailor the program to the specific developmental level of their group.

Pat Hoertdoerfer, developmental editor of Our Whole Lives for Grades 4-6, writes about the enormous developmental differences between children at either end of this age range. "At ages nine to ten, children approach sexuality information in a direct and scientific way. At ages eleven to twelve, children are beginning to experience the physical, emotional, and social changes of puberty; to feel awkward; and to wonder if they are normal. Preteens also experience increased pressure to conform to stereotyped gender roles. Limiting the age range within the class (no more than two grades) will provide optimal learning and sharing about various roles -- sexual, gender, leader-follower, and peer group."

Question #6: What’s the best way to advocate for these programs?
To respond to this question, I found Sarah Gibb, editor of The Advocacy Manual for Sexuality Education, Health and Justice: Resources for Communities of Faith. Sarah first responded that there is no magic, sure-fire formula for advocacy, then she suggested the following:

"First, assess where the energy is in your congregation. Are there parents, congregational leadership, RE leadership, and young people who are interested in getting these programs started? A way you can get these folks on board is to take some time to talk with them about the programs, show them the curriculum materials, show the 'Raising Healthy Kids' video (recommended in the curricula) and share with them your reasons for wanting to support this. Second, harness some of this newly-created energy by forming a committee to oversee the implementation of the curriculum. Congregations have frequently found it helpful to form an 'OWL Oversight Committee' separate from the Religious Education Committee, as coordination of Our Whole Lives tends to require significantly more effort than coordination of a typical RE curriculum. The Oversight Committee can make sure teachers get trained. Third, educate the congregation. The oversight committee, RE committee, professional religious educator, and minister can all play a role in educating the congregation about your commitment to young people in offering these programs. Fourth, run the program! And make sure to keep track of what you’ve learned throughout its first run so that next time you can build on the lessons learned the first time."

Question #7: Do leaders really need training?
Yes, everyone I spoke with strongly recommended it. Here are some of their reasons: Training equips leaders to deal with the issues in an age-appropriate, sensitive manner. It helps leaders know how to partner with parents in the most effective way. Training offers leaders the opportunity to gain comfort not only with sexuality, but also with the age group that they will be working with. Training helps leaders incorporate the Unitarian Universalist teachings of Sexuality and Our Faith seamlessly into Our Whole Lives. A congregation owes it to its kids to make sure that the best-informed, best-prepared, most appropriate people lead this course. Leader training helps assure that this happens. To locate a training near you, contact Pat Hoertdoerfer or click here.

Question #9: Where can I go for more personalized assistance?
Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer, UUA Children’s Program Director, is the Our Whole Lives consultant for the Grades K-1 and 4-6 levels. Pat and the curriculum office assistant, Rachael Brown, will be happy to help you every step of the way as you advocate for and administer Our Whole Lives in your congregation. Here’s Pat’s contact information:
Rev. Patricia A. Hoertdoerfer
UUA Department of Religious Education
25 Beacon St.
Boston, MA 02108
(617)742-2100, x362
phoertdoerfer@uua.org