Evaluation Questionnaire
Please respond by January 5, 2001 either email or by mail.
Sally Patton
290 Highland Ave.
Winchester, MA 01890
Email: salrick@mediaone.net

This is the last Involve Newsletter. My funding was for two years and even though it seems like yesterday, it has finally come to an end. I announce this with regret as well as anticipation for my next project which is the writing of a manual entitled, Involve, A Guide for the Inclusion of Children and Youth with Differences. I am hoping that this manual will provide more comprehensive information that the newsletters were unable to provide. I will also be able to cover many more disabilities than I did in the newsletters. I want to extend a special thank you to the UU Funding Program, the Unitarian Sunday School Society and the UUA for their encouraging support and generous funding. I also want to thank the staff of the UUA's RE Department, particularly Cynthia Breen, Pat Hoertdoufer and Jacqui James. And special thanks to the Standing Committee of my church, the Winchester Unitarian Society, for believing in this project and their invaluable assistance.

The primary purpose of this last newsletter is to solicit evaluation information from those of you who have used the newsletter. You can respond to the online Evaluation Questionnaire and the answers will be automatically emailed to me. Click here to fill one out.

You can email me the answers so long as you number your answers according to the question numbers. I have also included some final Musings as well as a book review, Reclaiming Youth at Risk, which I just read and felt was an extraordinary book that people should know about.

"We Are" by Sweet Honey in the Rock from their Sacred Ground CD

I could not seem to write this last newsletter. I was totally devoid of ideas. For how does one wrap up two years of continual thought about what it means to minister to all children, particularly ones with special cognitive, emotional and physical challenges. Then, I remembered the above song by Sweet Honey in the Rock and it reminded me what I have learned on this wonderful journey. The following are thoughts that tumbled through my brain in response to the inner music of the above song. I offer them to you as they came to me, with a few revisions for clarity.

If we believe that every person born on this earth is born with a mission and a purpose, what does this mean about our ministry to children with special difficulties?

We often get so wrapped up in the difficulty or problem itself that our reactions to the disabling condition prevent us from seeing who the child really is.

As parents we mourn the loss of what we hoped for our child.

As adults we cringe at seeing what we thought could have been.

Often children with special needs remind us of our own human frailty. Consequently, our response can be to turn away, ignore or hopefully to become more compassionate with ourselves and with others.

Their living presence challenges us to face our own fears.

Our charge as UU religious educators is to provide a place where children who struggle can realize their purpose, their mission - to be allowed to teach us what they know as well as learn from us.

It is the capacity to love all God's children that frees us to be who we are. It is a never-ending cycle. If we make the world safe for all children then we make the world safe for us as adults. As we cherish our children, we cherish ourselves.

Allowing ourselves to believe that each special needs child has a life's mission or purpose to fulfill frees us to see their gifts. My capacity to see anew each child with a special challenge has freed me to see anew every single child that crosses my path.

One caring, concerned adult in the life of a struggling child can make all the difference.

We can not afford to turn away from the child that is difficult. How many people have already turned away? I know we are not a social service agency. Sometimes disruptive, highly difficult children are too much for the Sunday morning sessions. But UU ministry should not end with the morning. How can we extend the hand of love and caring to those children and families that can not tolerate our church structure? Perhaps it is the single hand of friendship and caring from one adult in the congregation that will make all the difference.

As we embrace our UU principles to honor the sacredness of all life, our ministry to all children is as it should be.

Thank You to all of you who have enriched my life. While writing this newsletter, I have learned so much from religious educators all over the country. Thank you to everyone for their collective and individual wisdom and the sense of compassion and caring that permeates UU religious educators' ministry to children. This has been an inspiring and gratifying journey. I hope that we have all learned something together.

"Grandfather what is the purpose of life?" After a long time in thought, the old man looked up and said, "Grandson, children are the purpose of life. We were once children and someone cared for us, and now it is our time to care." Eddie Belleroe, a Cree elder from Alberta, Canada

I just finished reading the extraordinary book, Reclaiming Youth at Risk, Our Hope for the Future by Larry K. Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, and Steve Van Bockern. It seemed very appropriate to include a review of this book as part of this final newsletter. Many children who struggle, who are different, who have cognitive, emotional and physical limitations are at risk. I highly recommend this book for anyone who works with youth.

Employing the observations, writings and research of leaders in the field, the authors of this book describe the "seeds of discouragement in our society" which have caused a crisis of alienation among too many of our youth. These alienated youth at risk are called by many labels, which are overwhelmingly negative and unfriendly. The authors try to shift the focus of their book away from the negative traits of these children at risk and instead focus on the "transactions" within their environments, which cause the "seeds of discouragement". These include: destructive relationships, climates of futility, learned irresponsibility, and loss of purpose. The authors apply the wisdom of the Native American child-centered culture to help heal the wounds of youth at risk. "Native American philosophies of child management represent what is perhaps the most effective system of positive discipline ever developed. These approaches emerged from cultures where the central purpose of life was the education and empowerment of children. Modern child development research is only now reaching the point where this holistic approach can be understood, validated, and replicated." They describe the "circle of courage" which created an environment in which Native American children could grow and flourish. The circle includes four basic principles. "The number four has sacred meaning to Native people who see the person as standing in a circle surrounded by the four directions." This philosophy of child development is portrayed in a medicine wheel. "We propose belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity as the central values -- the unifying theme -- of positive cultures for education and youth work programs. We believe the philosophy embodied in this circle of courage is not only a cultural belonging of Native peoples, but a cultural birthright for all the world's children."

It is when the circle of courage is broken that children become alienated and at risk. The authors describe approaches for working with alienated children and bringing them back into the circle of courage. The four essential elements of an environment that would reclaim our youth at risk are: relating to the reluctant, brain-friendly learning, discipline for responsibility, and the courage to care. Their discussion of these elements of the reclaiming environment is grounded in four "profiles in development" which include: attachment, achievement, autonomy, and altruism which are the psychological foundations of courage.