Family Celebration Service

Michael De Marsico, DRE
Unitarian Society of New Haven
Hamden, CT

It is a privilege to include this Family Celebration Worship Service in UU Faith Works. Although it was written for a mid-size congregation, it could be easily adapted for use with smaller or larger congregations. For more information about how to present the story used in the service, Mr. Nicks Knitting, by Margaret Wild, as an interactive skit, please contact Michael DeMarsico at mickpub@hotmail.com. The original order of service listed the names of the family members; they have been omitted in this version prepared for UU Faith Works.
– Tracey L. Hurd, Lifespan Faith Development, UUA

This service focuses on celebrating the diversity of families in the world, including but not limited to biological families, relatives from marriage, chosen families of friends, the family of a faith community, and the family of humanity. The different elements of this service reflect the theme, and a different type of family or someone with a strong connection to a specific type of family presents each element, to further connect with the theme. We also encouraged everyone involved in the service to identify the families to which they belong and to talk about what family means to them.

The Order of Service included words to the chorus of the hymn “Love Is a Circle” by Phyllis Hiller. In addition, each congregant received crayons and paper to be used during the service, as they entered.

Welcome and Announcements. At the Unitarian Society of New Haven, we always start each service with a general statement of welcome as well as congregational announcements followed by an invitation to “quiet your minds and open your hearts.” The family that presented this portion of the service, as well as the call to worship, consists of a mother who is a ministry student, her husband, and their young daughter.

Prelude. “Tis a Gift to be Simple,” #16 (Shaker folk song) presented by three women. This song was chosen to represent the “simple gifts” that family provides us.

Call to Worship. These are the opening words that officially begin each service. The family presenting this element of the service, who also did the Welcome and Announcement, spoke about some of their favorite family memories, and what their memories say about how they define “family.”

Opening Hymn. “We’re Gonna Sit at the Welcome Table” #407. This hymn was chosen to reflect the variety of people and families, and how they all have a place at “the welcome table” … or should have one, anyway.

Chalice Lighting. The family that did the chalice lighting is a blended family of a wife, husband, their twin elementary school children, and the wife’s college-age daughter from a previous marriage. For this chalice lighting, each member of the family shared what being part of this family meant to him or her.

Song. Our music director taught the song “We’re All a Family” to the congregation. Each verse lists different identities – such as nationalities, state of biological evolution, etc. – but concludes with the refrain, “We’re all a family!” For this service, we created a verse listing different types of family relationships, such as “We all are brothers” and “grandmothers” and so on, and ended with the refrain.

Story. Three congregants performed Margaret Wild’s children’s story, Mr. Nick’s Knitting. The story basically shows how two people who are not related but care for each other can be a family. Two members of our congregation’s Children’s and Youths’ Religious Education Committee played Mr. Nick and Mrs. Jolley, and a third person performed the narration.

Meditation. Our meditation was presented by a gay couple in our congregation. They introduced the meditation by talking about what the idea of family meant to them and their relationship. They then invited everyone in the sanctuary to consider the many families that they belonged to as they rang our meditation bell.

Offertory. “Concerto in G Minor: Allegro” by Vivaldi. This instrumental performance was played during the offertory.

Sharing. Michael DeMarsico, and a family consisting of a father who is a youth advisor for our YRUU group, a mother who is a newly elected state official, and their two young children walked around the sanctuary showing a variety of apples to the congregation. As they displayed different apples, Michael asked people to point out differences among the apples. They shared that the apples were different colors, sizes, and conditions (one had a bite taken out of it). After people pointed out a variety of differences between the apples. Michael acknowledged all answers and asked, “Are these apples all apples even if they are so different from each other?” After receiving an affirmative answer, Michael made the connection between the apples and families, stating that just as all of these various apples were basically the same, all different types of families are families because they share a common core of love and caring.

Anthem. The song “Take the Time to Hear” by Aubrey Sneyder was performed by a choir of five different families, each with their own unique constellation. Included were families with children, families with partners without children, and single women whose children live throughout the United States.

Interactive Message: Picturing Our Families. Our religious education director, Michael DeMarsico, led this segment, “Picturing Our Families,” with music by the music director. Michael introduced this part of the service by saying that the congregation had seen and heard many ideas about family from a variety of people but that he wanted to give everyone a chance to share their thoughts about family. He invited everyone – children and adults – to take a moment to draw a picture or write something that would express what family meant to them at that moment using the crayons and paper that they received with the order of service that morning. While the congregants created their expressions of family, the music director played quiet background music. After some minutes had passed, Michael invited everyone to share what he or she had created with the congregation, as they were willing and able. A wide variety of participants shared their pictures and writing. Their creations embraced relatives, friends, the congregation, the world, genetics, and more. Everyone did their best to share their creations in a generally accessible manner.

Closing Hymn. The music director led the hymn “Love Is a Circle” by Phyllis Hiller, with the congregation singing the chorus using the words printed in the order of service. This song was chosen because it celebrates the eternal love that is the key to defining any family.

Benediction. Michael DeMarsico shared the following anonymous quote: “Our family is a circle of strength and love. With every birth and every union, the circle grows. Every joy shared adds more love. Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.”