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UU Faith Works Summer/Fall 2003 Administration
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Where My Fears Are Planted
Rebecca Pournoor
Director of Religious Education
Unity Church Unitarian
St. Paul, MNChildren's Worship: Remembering 9/11
This is a story of a girl named Sara who is about your age. She likes soccer, school, Saturday morning cartoons and vanilla ice cream with lots of hot fudge. Lately though Sara's life has not been going so great ...she is afraid. She is afraid of monsters under her bed, afraid of what she hears on the news, afraid of how her parents sometimes whisper about war and afraid that something bad might happen to her family. Sara carries all these fears with her. Everywhere.
Mr. Watson lives next door to Sara. He has a large, beautiful garden filled with flowers, vegetables and trees all bordered by rocks of all sizes. Some rocks are so large you can even climb up on them, lay back and bake in the sun.
On day Sara's Mom shooed her out into the backyard to play. Sara didn't feel like playing alone, she didn't feel like playing with friends, she didn't feel like playing period. And so she walked over to Mr. Watson's garden where he was cutting fresh flowers to place on his kitchen table. Mr. Watson could see that Sara was troubled so he invited her to sit at a low bench and he asked, “How are you doing Sara?” Sara knew she could tell him anything, she had known Mr. Watson all her life. She knew he wouldn't laugh or share her secrets with anyone and so she said, “I've been kind of afraid lately. I'm afraid of monsters, of planes, strangers, war, losing my parents and even of dying.” Fears flew out of Sara's mouth and seemed like a list a mile long and when she was done talking she took a big breath and sat there looking at her feet.
Mr. Watson leaned over and picked out a rock that bordered some tulips. He held the rock in his hands, almost like he was warming it up and turned to Sara and said, “Imagine that this rock is FEAR, all your fears put together are right here in this rock ...try to imagine that.” Mr. Watson handed Sara the rock. It was warm from his hands and the earth and was as heavy as a brick. Mr. Watson said, “If you want to hold on to your fears you must carry them around in this stone where ever you go for one week. In a week's time come back to my garden and we'll talk again.”
And Sara did just that, she carried the rock to school in her backpack, she brought it in to the bathroom while she brushed her teeth, the rock rested on her pillow while she slept … and each day it became heavier and heavier. It seemed to be absorbing all her fear until a week later when she saw Mr. Watson she could barely carry it. As a matter of fact it had become so heavy that she had to roll it on the ground over to Mr. Watson's garden because she couldn't carry it one more step.
“Mr. Watson, I don't want to carry this fear around anymore, it's too heavy. The rock gets in my way, it doesn't let me play with my friends, I can't ride my bike with it, I can't even play soccer anymore! Can I let go of it now?” Sara asked. Mr. Watson picked up the rock and fit it back in the border where he first picked it up from. “Sara,” he said, “this rock used to be my fear of driving, after an accident a couple of years ago, I was afraid to drive again so I found this rock and held on to it for a while until it got too heavy and I started driving again. See that large rock over there? That rock held all my fear of living alone after Mrs. Watson passed away.” Sara turned to look at Mr. Watson's face and she could tell he was serious. “That green rock over there? That rock was my fear of storms. Instead of throwing the rocks away I plant them in my garden, surround them with beauty, and pick them up once in a while to remind myself that life goes on.”
Sara leaned back taking all this in. This beautiful garden was a place where fear is planted, carried around and finally let go. She reached out and patted her stone. “Thank you, Mr. Watson,” Sara said. “I don't need to carry it around anymore. I think I'm ready to play with my friends again.”
Mr. Watson smiled and said, “We all have fears once in a while, you did the right thing in facing yours and now you can replace the fear that was in you with whatever you like. Replace it with happiness, love or playing with your friends … you can choose.”
A smile spread across Sara's face, she looked up at Mr. Watson and with her arms wide gave him a huge hug. She then took off back to her own yard, towards the sound of other kids playing.
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