Leadership

UU Principles as Practice
Rev. Chris Fry, MRE
Unitarian Church of Davis, Davis, CA

This is the church of
the open mind
the helping hands
and the loving heart

When we come to this church, we make promises to each other, spoken and unspoken. These promises are sometimes called a "covenant." A covenant describes how we will treat each other and create a fun, safe and sacred space for all of us. Our Children's Covenant & Rules is based on our Unitarian Universalist principles. It is intended to help us as parents and as a religious community teach our children how to be respectful, responsible, and caring persons. We shall do this, first, by modeling the behavior we expect to see in our children. We shall do this, secondly, by making clear our expectations and the consequences for not meeting them.

This booklet is meant for families to read and discuss together. A signed copy of the Family Agreement - and a copy of a Family Registration form - need to be on file at the church if children or youth are to participate in Religious Exploration groups and related activities at church. For more information, please contact the Rev. Christine Fry.

Unitarian Universalist Principles for all of us:

Principle One:
We respect all people through our words and actions.
(We affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person.)

Principle Two:
We treat all people fairly and with kindness.
(We affirm and promote justice, equity and compassion in human relations.)

Principle Three:
We learn together, welcoming one another.
(We affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations.)

Principle Four:
We encourage each person's search for what is right and true in life.
(We affirm and promote a free and responsible search for truth and meaning.)

Principle Five:
We listen to our inner voice and to the hopes and concerns of others.
(We affirm and promote the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large.)

Principle Six:
We work together to make the church and world a better place for all.
(We affirm and promote the goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all.)

Principle Seven:
We care for the earth, its creatures and our surroundings.
(We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.)

Church Rules
In order to keep the Church a fun, safe and sacred spaces for people of all ages, the following rules are to be followed. These rules are drawn from the Unitarian Universalist principles found in our Children's Covenant.

In this church we do NOT:

• Hit, kick, push, shove or punch one another
• Throw sand or other objects that can do harm
• Yell or use disrespectful language
• Threaten others with our words or actions
• Take things that belong to others
• Stand or jump on furniture, roofs, walls or fences
• Disrupt our group by being noisy or uncooperative
• Damage church property, grounds or things belonging to others
• Leave the Bridge house without permission

In this church we DO:

• Listen, speak and act with respect
• Take turns and cooperate
• Participate in group activities
• Include people, especially newcomers, in our play
• Run, skip and jump outside
• Share toys, play equipment and snacks
• Take time-outs and/or talk with someone when angry
• Ask adults or youth workers for help
• Help make church a fun, safe, sacred place for everyone

Consequences
When the Church Rules are not followed, we can expect one or more of the following consequences to be given to help us improve our behavior and keep Church a fun, safe, sacred space. We may be:

• Given a firm but gentle reminder of the rule to be followed.
• Dismissed from our group, if we are disruptive. If dismissed, we will be sent to the Childcare Coordinator and expected to sit quietly in a designated place until group is over. Our parent(s) will be notified that this is how we spent our morning at church.
• Told to take a time-out of 5 to 10 minutes to cool off when we're angry or not following the rules.
• Asked to write a report on our behavior in church that day.
• "Benched" or not allowed to continue playing that day if we have repeatedly ignored the rules and/or put ourselves or someone else in danger. When this happens, Rev. Chris Fry or Renee Zastrow, our Childcare Coordinator will notify our parent(s).
• Given a verbal warning to stop our behavior if we are fighting or hurting ourselves or others. If we do not stop immediately, the staff may physically intervene to keep people from being harmed. Such an incident will be reported to our parent(s) by Rev. Chris or the Childcare Coordinator that day.
• Taken back to the Meeting house to sit with our parent(s).
• Asked not to attend our group or play in the Bridge house or Cottage unless a parent(s) is with us for a specified period of time.
• Invited to a meeting with Rev. Chris and our parent(s) to discuss our behavior at church.
• Lose the privilege of attending group or playing in the Bridge house or Cottage for a certain period of time.

Ethical Code of Conduct for Religious Exploration Staff
Religious Exploration "staff" are all persons (paid and volunteer) who work with children and youth in the church. As persons with special responsibilities for the nurture and care of young people in this church, we agree to abide by the Children's Covenant and RE Rules and to model the kind of respectful, caring behavior we wish to see our children learn.

We understand that the following behaviors are expressly prohibited and are grounds for dismissal:

• Yelling, using profanities or threatening a child;
• Hitting, pinching, pushing, kicking or shoving a child;
• Being under the influence of alcohol and/or other drugs;
• Being with a child alone, in a closed room, without another adult or youth worker in the immediate vicinity;
• Touching a child in a sexual or otherwise inappropriate way;
• Being convicted of child sexual or physical abuse.

Any violations of this nature must be reported immediately to one of the ministers. Children and/or parents who are concerned about an adult or youth worker's behavior will be encouraged and asked to speak with one of the ministers immediately. The minister(s) shall contact the police or Child Protective Services, as mandated, if the situation warrants such action.

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Family Agreement
Our family has read and discussed the Children's Covenant and Rules. We agree to follow this Covenant and the Rules so that church can be a fun, safe, and sacred space for all who come. If children or adults have difficulty following the Covenant and Rules we understand that there will be people - including parents, RE teachers and the ministers - who will help them live up to their responsibilities. If we have concerns about the way we, or someone else at church is treated, we will ask for help from a trusted adult (e.g., a parent, Rev. Chris, Rev. Beth, or one of our teachers).

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Please return this signed sheet to Rev. Chris. Family Agreements & Copies of the Covenant and Rules will be kept on file at the Bridge house.

Covenant & Rules Report

Child: ________________________________________________________

Date: ___________________________

Referred by: ___________________________________________________

_____ Disruptive in Group
_____ Inappropriate language
_____ Hitting or fighting
_____ Throwing sand/objects
_____ Threatened others
_____ Took something not own
_____ Stood/jumped on furniture
_____ Damaged property, grounds
_____ Left BH without permission
_____ Uncooperative
_____ Other (please specify)

Brief description (if needed): ______________________________________________

Consequence(s): _____ Verbal warning
_____ Time-out
_____ Dismissed from group
_____ Benched, no play day
_____ Written report
_____ Returned to parents in MH
_____ Parent to attend group with child for ______ session(s)
_____ Parent and child to meet with Rev. Chris
_____ Child not to attend group or play in BH or Cottage for ______ Sundays
_____ Other

Reviewed by: _____________________________ Date: _____________________

My behavior at church today

I did not follow this/these Rule(s) today _______________________________________________________

This is what happened __________________________________________________

Then I __________________________________________________________________

I feel ___________________________________________________________________

Next time I will handle this kind of a situation differently by __________________________________________________________________________

I want ________________________________ to know _________________________

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