Don't respond defensively to homophobic scriptural citations by engaging in a ‘boxing match’ style of dialogue about them.  “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”  “But that's ridiculous!  The creation story is just a myth to explain human creation—surely you don't believe it literally happened that way!  Why, all scientific evidence shows that the original person was a woman in Africa.”
 

Do use humor and keep a light touch.  “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”
“Yeh, well, and look at the trouble they got themselves into!”  “Are you saying heterosexuals are responsible for the fall of humankind?”  OR  “Just say no didn't even work in the Garden—and that time it was God talking directly!”

Don't fight with an idiot.  Someone looking in from the outside won't know which one of you is the idiot.  “Gay people deserve to be killed.”  “And you call yourself a Christian?  That's the most hateful thing I've ever heard someone say!”
 

Do appeal to moderate observers.  “Gay people deserve to be killed.”  “Did you hear what he just said?  I know that the majority of Americans are as repulsed by these mean-spirited words as I am.  Every poll shows that we Americans believe in fair, nonviolent treatment of all people, even when we disagree with them.”

Don't  let someone else set the agenda/frame the parameters of the discussion. “Our founding fathers intended this to be a Christian nation!”  “That's absurd.  This is not a Christian nation, and never has been.”
 

Do speak positively.  “Our founding fathers intended this to be a Christian nation!”  “The wise people who founded this country bequeathed us a wonderful Constitution and a Bill of Rights which affirms the rights of all people.  These, not any religion, provide the covenant which is our basis for living together in peace in the United States.”

Don't demonize or insult the proponents of the initiative.  “Only a bigot or a homophobe would support this Initiative, and the people who thought it up are fascists!”
 

Do differentiate the leaders from the followers in these initiatives; use language of compassion and reconciliation.  “I am concerned that Americans, who are shown in every poll to oppose discrimination against any group of people, are being misled about exactly what this ballot measure means.”

Don't allow homophobes to monopolize religious language.  “God is opposed to homosexuals; I read it in the Bible and that's good enough for me.”  “Regardless of what you read in the Bible; this is not a Christian country and the Bible should not govern our laws.”
 

Do claim the moral high ground; cite verse you like, use your own religious language. “God is opposed to homosexuals; I read it in the Bible and that's good enough for me.”  “Neither Jesus not the ten commandments mention homosexuality at all, but they do condemn bearing false witness against our neighbors.  Many of the statistics cited in the materials for this ballot measure are provably false.  As a person of faith, concerned for the spiritual well being of my community, I cannot allow this false witness to go unchallenged.  My faith demands that I tell the truth, and the truth shall set me free.”

Do speak openly about your own faith as it informs your commitment to this issue.  “Jesus’ injunction to love your neighbor as yourself demands that I speak up on this issue.  Gays are my neighbors.”  “I believe it's up to God to judge us.  My own faith warns me to beware of wolves in sheeps’ clothing.”

Don't get sidetracked into discussions of whether people “choose” to be homosexual, or whether gay people are 1% of the population or 10%.  “Homosexuals could choose to be heterosexual if they wanted.”  “That's ridiculous!  You're either born gay or you're not!”  “Homosexuals are only 1% of the population.  The Kinsey study was skewed because it studied perverts and prisoners.”  “That study that says they are only 1% is skewed because who would tell an anonymous person at the door they were gay?”
 

Do stay focused on your primary talking points.  “No matter how many or how few members there are of a group such as a religion or a race, and no matter whether they are born that way or choose it, such as a Catholic who converts to Judaism versus someone who is born and remains Catholic, our constitution supports their civil rights equally.”

Don't globalize the issues or use rhetoric.  “This is just the first step towards death camps!  First they came for the Jews, and I did not speak up because I was not a Jew. . .”  You may believe it, but the average person does not.
 

Do speak specifically about how the initiative will affect your local community.  “What exactly will this ballot measure mean to my gay son who was fired from his job simply because he is gay?  It will mean that he has no legal recourse, as any other citizen would.”

Don't try to terrorize people into voting on our side.
 

Do lift up a vision of unity.  “I wish that, instead of using all of my energy in fighting this ballot initiative, I could be working together with all of the citizens of our community to confront the economic and ecological crises we face.  I know that, together, we could solve these problems!  What I regret most about these initiatives is the way they tear up the community.”

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