Unitarian Universalists Speak Before Vermont State Legislature in Support of Same Sex Marriage
Testimony of the Rev. Jane Dwinell, Minister
First Universalist Parish, Derby Line, Vermont
March 29, 2000, speaking before the Senate Judiciary Committee at the Statehouse
in Montpelier
Thank you for inviting me to speak before you today.
I am the Rev. Jane Dwinell and I serve the First Universalist Parish, a Unitarian
Universalist congregation, in Derby Line, VT. My congregation serves Unitarian
Universalists from all over Orleans County as well as part of the Eastern Townships
of Quebec. I am also a member of the Board of Trustees of the NH/VT District
of Unitarian Universalist Societies, as well as President-Elect of my district's
chapter of the Unitarian Universalist Minister's Association.
I also serve as a chaplain for the Orleans and Northern Essex County Visiting
Nurses and Hospice and North Country Hospital in Newport. I live in Irasburg.
I am also a seventh generation Vermonter, on both sides of the family, my ancestors
having settled the towns of Braintree and Calais. I grew up here in Montpelier
and learned about civil rights and the importance of speaking up for the oppressed
- in church.
As a Unitarian Universalist, I am called to speak out against injustice and
for civil rights, thus I am here today to let you know that there are people
of faith who are in favor of same gender marriage and civil unions.
Our denomination has a long history of faith-based action in the civil rights
arena - from the people who worked to end slavery in the early to mid 1800s,
to women like Susan B. Anthony who fought tirelessly for women's rights, to
social workers who spoke up for the rights of the mentally ill in the early
1900s, to the clergy and lay people who went South in the 1960s to march for
the civil rights of Americans with black skin. My colleague, the Rev. James
Reeb was murdered in Selma, Alabama when he went to march with the Rev. Dr.
Martin Luther King in 1965.
It is no different for us in the area of rights for gay and lesbian persons.
For the past 30 years our clergy have been performing services of holy union
between members of the same gender. These union ceremonies carry the same weight
as marriage within our denomination, and are celebrated in the same fashion
as weddings of opposite gender couples. In fact, in 1996 our General Assembly
passed a resolution In Support of the Right to Marry for Same-Sex Couples. Let
me share with you the text of that resolution:
[Text of "In
Support of the Right to Marry for Same-Sex Couples"]
Right after the passage of this resolution, Unitarian Universalist Association
President the Rev. John Buehrens asked all same gender couples present to come
forward. Several hundred people gathered on the stage to a standing ovation
by the delegates at the Assembly. It was a powerful and moving moment.
Since the 1996 General Assembly, a similar resolution has been passed at the
NH/VT District Annual Meeting, by our District Minister's Association, and at
several Unitarian Universalist churches in Vermont.
We, as a denomination, understand that the right to have long-term, committed
heterosexual or homosexual relationships supported and acknowledged by the government
is a civil right. Homosexuals are born, not made. One's sexual orientation is
as much of a birthright as one's race. Why would it be any other way?
Just as people once thought that the earth was flat and that our planet was
the center of the universe and had to change their viewpoint once the scientific
evidence was in, scientists and psychologists now agree that one is born with
one's sexual orientation.
Why would anyone choose to be homosexual? In the words of one of my gay parishioners,
why would anyone choose to be called an abomination or beaten and tied to a
fence to die? Why would anyone want to live their life in fear and secrecy,
unable to tell even their closest friends, co-workers, and relatives that they
have fallen in love and have formed a family?
When a couple comes to me wishing to be married - consenting adults who have
fallen in love and want to make a public statement of their commitment and have
it blessed -- we sit down together and talk. We talk about what the couple is
looking for in a ceremony, and how they wish to honor their relationship before
friends and family and their faith community. But mostly we talk about the quality
of their relationship, their struggles and their joys, what they love most about
each other, what bugs them the most about each other, how they handle conflict,
and money, and decision making in general, whether or not they want children
and when, and what kind of a relationship they have with each other's family
of origin.
We discuss how a trusting, loving, and caring sexual relationship can deepen
their level of intimacy. But, as anyone in this room who is in, or has been
in, a long term committed relationship knows, sharing sexual pleasure is the
least of it. Couples spend more time worrying about the mortgage and the bills,
how to balance work and family, how to raise the kids in a responsible manner,
how to find time to contribute to society and find meaning in life, how to decide
who cooks and who cleans, who goes grocery shopping, and who takes out the trash.
I provide the same pre-ceremony counseling for same gender or opposite gender
couples. Their concerns are the same. Their joys are the same. Their lives are
the same - except for one point. Society does not recognize the same gender
couple's relationship.
When I work with dying people and their families, I meet people where they
are, without judgement. They want to explore the meaning of their lives, and
make plans for the care of their property and their body after death. These
are deep conversations, and people have deep concerns. Caring for a dying loved
one is one of the greatest gifts we can give to one another. Disposing of our
loved one's body after death and planning a memorial service are some of the
most intimate things we can do for one another. How can we, as a society, deny
these rights to anyoneŠ. And especially to someone who has tended their partner's
body and spirit at home through the final days and weeks of a terminal illness?
Marriage, as an institution, has changed over the years. Once upon a time,
it was only for the wealthy as a way to cement bonds of property and inheritance.
Once upon a time, people of different religions, different races, and different
social classes were not allowed to marry. Marriage has changed with the times.
Granting the right of civil union to same gender couples - which is in no way
marriage as it is not portable from state to state and does not bestow upon
them any of the federal rights associated with marriage -- would in no way degrade
marriage as an institution; it would only enhance it.
Gay men and lesbians are in my congregation, they are my friends and family,
they are my neighbors. I have gained nothing but strength for my own marriage
from them. I see close at hand what they go through to create a home in a society
that is against them. I see them raise wonderful children, work hard in their
communities, and participate fully in the life of their house of worship.
A loving and benevolent Divine essence walks with us. We are called to be whole
people, to look inside ourselves, and be true to who we are. We all struggle
with this from time to time, but gay men and lesbians struggle more. They do
not want to think they are deviants in society. They do not want to listen to
hate-filled language spoken by people who do not truly understand what it is
like to be a gay man or lesbian in our society.
Homosexuals, like heterosexuals, want to be left alone to love their mate,
to raise their children, to care for their home, to contribute to society, and
to find a faith community that will nurture their deepest longings.
Our society has struggled, and continues to struggle, with many so-called moral
issues - slavery, desegregation, interracial marriage, child labor, the death
penalty, abortion rights, the rights of the disabled, and now, gay and lesbian
rights. Faith communities also struggle with these issues. But we religious
leaders expect our governmental leaders to seek equitable and just solutions
to these issues not based solely on a particular faith's point of view. In Orleans
County alone there are practicing Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists
as well as people of various native and earth-centered traditions. The history
of freedom of religion and the separation of church and state runs deep in Vermont.
Because we know that Americans and Vermonters are not of one faith, we ask
you, our elected officials, to look deep into your hearts and do what is just
and fair. There are times when it is necessary for you to look beyond the popular
vote - because other legislators before you had the courage to do that, we no
longer have segregation separating the races, and women have the right to vote
and be independent citizens apart from their husbands or fathers.
All couples have the right to have their commitment honored and respected by
society. The civil union bill takes the first step toward full equality. I ask
you to do all you can to ensure the rights of same gender couples to have the
full benefits, protections, and responsibilities that heterosexual married couples
enjoy.
UUs
Speak in Vermont
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