"Alongside the battery and around the West Side of Manhattan
- a sight never seen before. Every ferry, every tugboat, every vessel
that could move - alongside the banks of Manhattan picking up people
to bring them to safety - a sealift of people unprecedented in the
history of New York City - a people moving to safety but not a people
surrendering their City." -- the Rev. Christopher McMahon
Tuesday
morning, September 11th, 2001, started for me as a day like any other.
The usual 0615 wake of the New York Fast Ferry awoke me on my boat rocking
gently alongside the dock at the United States Merchant Marine Academy
- the place of my home, my work, and partly, my ministry. I admired
the warm and clear morning air - the result of passing storms the evening
before. A gentle cool breeze and a warm sun promised a beautiful day.
When I left the boat and walked along the dock, my eyes glanced to
the west and I silently admired - as I always do - the distant Manhattan
skyline - starkly sharp in the new morning air. Little did I know I
would never see it again in this way.
The offices and classrooms of USMMA's Global Maritime and Transportation
School were abuzz with activity and I settled into my daily work of
helping GMATS to provide a unique education and training service to
our country.
It was just about 9 A.M. when someone on the staff burst into my office
and announced that a plane had crashed into the Trade Towers. Incredulous,
I walked from my office outside to see billows of smoke pouring from
one of the World Trade Towers. Ducking back into the office, I joined
the crowd huddled around a T.V. set and heard the news. "A plane
has crashed into one of the Trade Towers." My first thought: "dear
God, they have finally succeeded."
Moments later I stepped back outside for a silent prayer and saw a
sight I will never forget - the second plane - then a burst of silent
flame and fire - smoke - billows of choking black smoke - my staff and
students crying - horror, disbelief, unimaginable pain, fear, desperation,
and finally anger - gnawing anger, tears of agony, frustration, a feeling
of powerlessness and aloneness.
And then the morning's events began to unfold - each passing moment
more surreal than the previous. I heard the cry from another staff member:
"my God, the tower has collapsed."
More disbelief - an overwhelming sense of grief - and again the feelings
of powerlessness, frustration, pain - and oh yes - a deep and thundering
anger growing within - the knowing feelings when one powerful emotion
is transformed into another - when unimaginable grief and penetrating
sorrow and frustration are shape-shifted into anger and even hatred
- a trembling of emotion within - a smoldering fire inside about to
burst into flame.
And then the word about the Pentagon in Washington. How can this be?
And the word of the hijackings - but how? How is this possible? Four
hijackings? A plane crashing in Pennsylvania? What is happening? Dear
God, what is happening? We are not a bad people. Who would do this to
innocent men, women, and children? Where is God?
And the day marched on - and frustration and anger turned to action.
Everyone, milling about. How do we help? What do we do? And the Academy's
waterfront and medical resources mobilized - seriously mobilized - midshipmen
by the hundreds, staff persons by the dozens - all hell-bent to intervene
- to turn back the clock of injustice and horror.
I could see the thoughts penetrating from every face and every eye
I looked into. We must turn back the clock. We cannot allow this evil
to hurt us, to kill us. We are Americans and we will show the world,
now - more than ever - who we are. No one will conquer our spirit. No
one.
And rumors got out. The Academy will be helping in the city. So from
the community they came - police officers, firefighters, doctors and
nurses - rushing from hospitals, rushing from village halls, rushing
from homes, rushing from work, rushing from vacations - all saying,
"I must help - please get me into the city, I am a doctor, I am
a nurse, I am a surgeon, I am a firefighter, I am a police officer -
you must get me there. I am needed. I must go."
And so go we did - into a nightmare, into a wrenching horror - into
a scene so beyond reason it was a dream - a fantastic dream. But it
was no dream - for with each passing moment, more people were dying
- dying in the grips of fear, dying in inconceivable pain, dying alone,
dying for no reason - dying by the hands of a twisted hatred in the
name of a God who cannot possibly exist - for that sacred force we call
God/Allah can only be love, and it is only we humans who can possibly
create and manifest such evil.
And my thoughts turn to my own theology: there can be no hell, for
we humans are too adept at creating our own hell right here on earth.
Look at the murderous hell we have just created right here in Manhattan.
And the hours and minutes ticked by and New Yorkers proved their amazing
resilience. By the thousands, then by the tens of thousands, then by
the hundreds of thousands, they filed out of office buildings and into
the streets. Calm, collected, silent. Tears of grief, but quiet determination.
And never hesitation to help the person next to them. A textbook evacuation
of the city. No crime. No yelling. No panic - just perseverance. The
FDR Drive, the West Side Highway, and all the bridges from Manhattan
- completely filled with people on the move - walking silently, standing
tall - a grieving people but a people in the process of powerful determination
and I suspect a metamorphosis that we will see in the weeks and months
ahead.
Alongside the battery and around the West Side of Manhattan - a sight
never seen before. Every ferry, every tugboat, every vessel that could
move - alongside the banks of Manhattan picking up people to bring them
to safety - a sealift of people unprecedented in the history of New
York City - a people moving to safety but not a people surrendering
their City. They would come back. You could see it in their eyes, watch
it in their posture, feel it in their anger.
Soon the city grew quiet - graveyard quiet - chillingly quiet - too
quiet. What is happening? Dear God, what is happening?
Our Academy staff and midshipmen began the tasks at hand. With our
numerous vessels we began evacuating people. We became assets of the
U.S. Coast Guard and the New York City Fire Department. By the dozens
and then by the hundreds, we ferried police and firefighters about the
city and you could see the anguish in their faces, the tears streaming
down their cheeks - for all of them already knew of dead friends from
their ranks, dead colleagues who had raced into the jaws of death in
the hopes of saving other human beings - selfless acts of courage and
love - a testimony to the goodness in most of humankind.
And despite the death that surrounded them and the risks associated
with their work, these brave men and women refused to become captive
to the fear and chaos of the moment. They would not give in. Not now.
Not ever.
And the day wore on. The destruction continued. More building collapses.
More fires raging out of control in surrounding buildings - the lower
part of Manhattan choked in billowing black smoke and flames constantly
licking at new targets of opportunity - heavy white ash settling everywhere
- office papers and files littering the streets, drifting in the air,
landing in distant parts of the city. Letters, invoices, legal forms
from companies that no longer existed - written by people no longer
alive. And nearly every country on earth affected - for the World Trade
Center was home to hundreds of international companies and the workplace
for thousands of persons from the international community. In one small
area of 16 acres, the world was attacked as never before.
The long day's journey into night bore a sunset like no other that
Manhattan has ever seen. An orange sun slipped gracefully below the
New Jersey shoreline shooting rays of light into the dense fires and
smoke until hues of red and yellow, crimson and blue mixed in a canvas
of acrid death - a cool breeze wafting to sea. And darkness fell upon
the lower part of the City - the world's financial center, a ghost town
where no person walked, no light was lit, no computer was on. Silence
- eerie silence. Quiet, deathly quiet. A tomb seemingly empty of the
sacred - for where could God be in this moment - perhaps God was hidden
by the terror created by we humans?
A long silent night spent watching Manhattan from the Brooklyn waterfront.
By midnight, earlier activity of the Academy fleet now stopped. Time
to dwell on all that has happened. Time to try to rationalize it all.
Time to make excuses. Time to imagine all the suffering. Time to be
so very alone. Time to feel the tragedy and horror seep into the very
core of one's being. A few moments to try to close one's eyes only to
relive in one's mind the scenes of the day. Take two, take three, take
one hundred. No, this cannot be real. It must be a movie or at least
a dream. But the smell of fire and the blackness of the City were real
and quickly reminded one of the staggering reality and sleep becomes
a false hope - the place of escape taken away by the suffering that
lies so very close - silent but real, not visible but felt.
And in the dawn's twilight, the veil of night slowly lifting on a city
- a city of pain - a city of sorrow - a city of unspeakable horror.
Still no lights in lower Manhattan - the first rays of light revealing
a broken city and thundering silence everywhere. No noise. No life.
An abandoned place.
And suddenly, a sickening flash of flames - another building dying
in uncontrollable fire. Clouds of new smoke reaching into the still
morning air rising high above the Statue of Liberty - and then sound
but what sound. Oh yes, jets, many jets flying overhead - the combat
air patrol from the U.S. Aircraft Carriers George Washington and John
F. Kennedy. Fighter jets protecting New York but why? Why - because
someone has declared war on the United States - because someone wants
to kill America - because someone wants to murder us - because someone
is willing and eager to kill our innocent women, men, and our children.
A scene etched - no burned - into my mind and I feel in the power of
the moment - a chill like no other and the tears fall upon my cheek
…and the hours passed by and the horror continues - and our King
Point family works on - our minds and heart growing numb - too much
sadness, too much grief, too much pain and we can no longer cry because
there are no tears left.
Pacifism? ...no, not now.
So do we wage war on this unseen enemy? The minister in me grieves
to say yes, absolutely yes.
For revenge - no - because to take revenge is to respond to hatred
with hatred - to remove human compassion and love and replace it with
evil - the same evil that wants to kill us.
For justice - no - because there can be no justice in the face of such
overwhelming evil. Justice assumes an enemy that knows the difference
between right and wrong and this is not the case with the attack on
America. Those that seek to kill us are ignorant of the very religion
(Islam) that they profess to die for. Islam is a religion of peace,
compassion, and love. Those who would kill in the name of Islam violate
the very basic tenets of Islam.
So why must we wage this war?
Because America must survive.
Because America stands in the world as a living symbol of freedom.
Because America believes in the worth and dignity of every human being.
Because America believes in justice, equity, and compassion in human
relations. Because America believes in the goal of world community with
peace, liberty, and justice for all.
Because there are those who do not believe in any of these things and
given the chance, these same people would murder all of us and coldly
think they have acted in the name of God.
A holy war? No - one cannot use the word holy and war in the same sentence.
There is nothing holy about war. But if we are to seek the holy - if
we are to find the holy we must as a people survive. We must have a
safe home for our families, our loved ones, ourselves. And now we know
that we are not safe and will never be safe until the threat of killing
terror is gone.
We must survive because America is a land of loving people and we must
be allowed to bring our compassion and love to the rest of the world.
We cannot do so if we are dead and our country destroyed. Were that
to happen, evil would win. Hatred and terror would eclipse compassion
and love. We must not allow this to happen. Not now. Not ever.
If those who have tried to kill the United States think they have divided
us they have much to learn about America but they will learn in the
months and years ahead. The first lesson was given in the faces of New
Yorkers - black and white, Asian and Hispanic, and yes - Arab Americans
as well. For together, we stood in the epicenter of destruction - a
people determined, a people with resolve, a people who said, "We
are Americans: you have not separated us but rather you have united
us - read again - you have
"United U.S.".
300 American flags were sold by a New York City street vendor in ten
minutes - flag makers have been unable to keep up with the demand.
And silent agonies cause us to question the existence of a God, for
why would a "loving God" allow such mindless evil to seemingly
prevail - the famous quote of Rabbi Harold Kushner - "why do bad
things happen to good people?" Some would even use the events of
September 11th as a proof that there could not possibly be a loving
God in any case.
But in such thoughts we presume to know what God is or is not. We anthropomorphize
God and package God in human terms that we pretend to be the truth.
We presume to know the meaning of life - what the Taoist would call
"The Way."
The real truth is that we do not know the truth. From our perspective
it is not possible to know the "mind" of God and why bad things
happen to good people. What we do know is that we have free will. What
we do know is that it is we humans who choose to create evil. It is
we humans who twist the essence of loving religions to make them instruments
of death. It is not God that does this. It is we humans - and it is
all of us - Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, and all others
for not one religion in the world calls for murder. Rather all the world's
religions call for loving our neighbor as we love ourselves - the great
golden rule affirmed in all cultures and all religions throughout the
world.
For those of us who believe in the sacred - the source of all creation
- God - we would say that in these moments those who perpetrate such
evil do so not only against innocent human beings but against God as
well - for a piece of creation - a piece of the sacred lies within each
of us. We would say that in these moments God is with us and that our
tears are God's tears. We would say that God is love and the only way
to seek and find God is through love.
September 11th, 2001 the world changed forever. America was attacked.
The world was attacked. Humanity was attacked. God was attacked. It
will be a day long remembered. For those of us who have lived through
it in New York (and Washington) it will be always be a day that will
bring a deep and penetrating sadness.
But in this moment of sorrow and disbelief, America will, once again,
show its majesty. From sea to shining sea, from Florida to Alaska, from
Maine to Hawaii we will show the world our resolve. We will show the
world that there is a reason we are called the "United" States.
For we will rise from this horror and we will join all of our tremendous
resources to make the world a safer place. We will not do this to seek
revenge. We will do it for the good of humanity. We will show that freedom,
democracy, and tolerance are what make our land and our people the most
compassionate and caring people in the world. We will show that those
who seek to destroy us can only unite us.
In the months ahead let us stand united. Let us join to make the world
a safer place. Let us remember to go about our business with compassion
and love in our hearts. Let us give thanks for the blessings of America
and let us strive to live our lives in every way that our great nation
stands for.
