A Day to Remember

Fifty same sex couples married on May 20 at Arlington Street Church

(Boston, May 20, 2004) It was a perfect day for a spring wedding — sunny, temperate, soft breezes blowing the flowers that bloomed in the Boston Public Garden. For fifty Boston-area couples, it was an historic day — the first day on which same sex marriages are legal in Massachusetts for couples who did not seek waivers of their license application on May 17th. The members of Arlington Street Church, known for its history of supporting peace and justice, decided that it was a fine day to open the doors of their historic sanctuary which sits on the corners of Arlington and Boylston Street in Boston's Back Bay, and invite love inside.

Beginning at 8:30 AM a series of fifty weddings were held, affirming the decision of the justices of the Supreme Judicial Court of the Commonwealth, and the commitment and love held by the couples who arrived to be joined in legal matrimony. Services were conducted by the Rev. Kim K. Crawford Harvie, Senior Minister at ASC, by Rabbi Howard Berman (who serves as Associate Clergy and Rabbi-in-Residence at Arlington Street Church), and the Rev. George Whitehouse (an ordained member of the ASC congregation).

As the church carillon played well-known hymn tunes, couples gathered outside the church, and one by one, had brief meetings with the clergy person who would legally marry them. Most chose to process down the aisle as candles were lit on the chancel and floral arrangements graced the table in front of the historic pulpit from which civil rights have been affirmed for centuries.

Ceremonies honor long-term commitments
The first couple to be married on May 20 were Holly Williams and Jocelyn Sedney of Quincy. Williams, a radiation oncology professional and Sedney, an attorney, have been together for 27 years. They were followed by Jenny McBride and Jo Gray of Newton, a couple together for 7-1/2 years, and then by Lynn Colangione and Lauren Baskin of Randolph, who have been together for 2-1/2 years. At 9:20, Kay Coleman and Janice Montle of Boston, regular attendees at Arlington Street Church, were also wed.

Each service began with the Rev. Crawford Harvie reading a section from the decision of the Supreme Judicial Court: "Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations. The question before us is whether, consistent with the Massachusetts Constitution, the Commonwealth may deny the protections, benefits, and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry. We conclude that it may not." Each service then proceeded with individual readings or vows of the couple, the blessing and exchanging of rings, and the proclamation of the presiding clergy member that "by the power vested in me by the Unitarian Universalist Association and by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you partners for life — legally married."

Crawford Harvie took particular pleasure in escorting each couple to a table in the chancel area, lit with candles and graced with flowers, where she signed the marriage license in handwriting "nice and big so the Governor can read it if he wants to." After inviting the couples and their guests into the chapel which adjoins the main sanctuary for cake and coffee, Crawford Harvie met the next couple on the schedule, and the process was repeated again throughout the morning.

Kim Crawford Harvie was not only officiant, but bride. for her wedding also took place on the morning of May 20. Crawford Harvie was marrying her longtime partner, Kem Morehead, in a ceremony officated by Rabbi Howard Berman. Three days earlier, Crawford Harvie had united Berman and his partner, Steven Littlehale; now it was Berman's turn to carry out Crawford Harvie and Morehead's ceremony, assisted by the Rev. George Whitehead. The brides processed down the aisle wearing complimentary purple and black dresses with jackets, beaming at the assembled guests. After singing "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee," the women shared readings that they had used at their Service of Union, held in 1999. Crawford Harvie read from 'Aphorisms on Love' by Vatsyayana (also known as One Thousand Sutras), a piece that honored the Buddhist practice that both women share. Morehead read James Agee's poem, "Sure on This Shining Night," recalling the love both women share of hiking and the outdoors:

Sure on this shining night
Of starmade shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.

The late year lies down the north
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.

Hearts all whole
Sure on this shining night
I weep for wonder wand'ring far alone
Of shadows on the stars.

Exchanging vows which included the biblical passage where Ruth speaks to Naomi ("whither thou goest I will go..."), the women said, in part, "I will always love you, I will never leave you. You are my lover and I am yours. I promise you my truth and my devotion. You are my journey's end..."

The congregation sang the song which featured lyrics written for Crawford Harvie's installation as minister of Arlington Street Church some 13 years ago, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." Rabbi Berman's prayer, first in Hebrew, then in English, followed and said in part, "We praise you, loving spirit of the universe, who has kept us alive and allowed us to experience this wondrous moment together."

Following a brief blessing by Whitehouse ("Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be the companion to the other"), Berman pronounced Crawford Harvie and Morehead legally married, which was greeted with jubilant applause and cheers from the congregation.

After a brief period of greeting and celebration with those present, Crawford Harvie, now legally married, re-donned her ministerial robe, joined her clergy colleagues Berman and Whitehead, and returned to the joyful business of the day — joining many other same sex couples in legal matrimony.

—Story and photos by Deborah Weiner

Media Coverage of this event

• 5/20/04 - beliefnet.com: "Making It Official" by Holly Lebowitz Rossi
• 5/20/04 - The Associated Press (in the Boston Herald): "After three-day wait, dozens of gay couples exchange their vows"
  
  
• View the photo album of couples mentioned in this story
• View the photo album of Kim Crawford Harvie and Kem Morehead
• Go to Freedom to Marry Massachusetts coverage
• Go to May 17 wedding of Hillary and Julie Goodridge coverage
• Go to May 17 first day of same sex marriage license application coverage

Unitarian Universalist Association
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