Blending the Age Groups for Fuller Church Experience

We see them under our coffee cups at social hour. They are the little people darting around our kneecaps. Or they are the teenagers and young adults lurking on the edges of our congregational gatherings. We see them but we don't always have much to do with them, busy as we are with our own conversations and obligations.

But the mark of a well-rounded congregation is whether all age groups feel at home and freely mix. If your congregation feels dominated by one age group and you'd like to change that, consider the following:

The First UU Church, Rochester, MN (288 members), holds a game night – from bridge to Trivial Pursuit – to bring young and old together. The congregation also holds an annual campout on Memorial Day weekend, including a talent show. "We have cabins so a wider range of folks show and it's really fun to see all the ages mix," said Beth Atkinson, Rochester president. "Adults talk to children they might not know and everyone looks out for them and it is sort of like an extended family."

Valentine Secret Pal programs and mentoring of Coming of Age youth provide one-time opportunities for interaction. "I have found it to be a really special way to get to know at least one child and I feel especially connected to each of the children who were my Secret Pals these three years that we have done it," said Kathy Jens-Rochow, president of the UU Church, Fort Lauderdale, FL (171).

At the UU Church, Cambridge, UK (90), the "Sunday Club," aka childrens' religious education, challenges the rest of the church to an annual cricket match. "It's a lovely social event when the sport isn't taken too seriously," says Martin Gienke. There is also a Christmas orchestra for young and old.

Many congregations include children in worship services as greeters, ushers, candle lighters, readers and musicians. Cindy Spring, RE program consultant for the New Hampshire/Vermont District, recommends oral histories as a way to bring young and old together. Appropriate for fifth grade and up, the histories honor older folks and help youth learn about life. Do it one on one, rather than in a group. When it grew to more than 300 members, the Horizon UU Church, Carrollton, TX (325), divided into family groups of 20 to 25 people. Each group, from children to seniors, plans its own social activities and cares for members in crisis. For more information contact Marty Robinson at the church, 1641 W. Hebron Parkway, Carrollton, TX 75010.

The Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer, Director of the UUA's Childrens' Programs and Family Ministry, says she's getting calls from congregations that want to create family clusters, ala Horizon. Ask for her Classic Information on Extended Families packet.

Social justice projects can also span the ages. First UU Church, Ann Arbor, MI (545), hosts a rotating homeless shelter. Older youth help set up beds and make dinner and whole families come and help serve and share dinners.

An annual "unbirthday party" brings the generations together at the UU Church of Montpelier, VT (170). Set up twelve tables, each with an undecorated cake. Participants sit at the table that represents their birthday month. They bring thematic materials and together they decorate the cake in the style of their month while sharing the good and bad points of having a birthday in, say, December. "It's pretty easy to do," said Tadd Morton, DRE. "I was expecting a dozen people and we had 60. I think the secret was low preparation and high sugar content."

Resources

The Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer, UUA Director of Childrens' Programs and Family Ministry, (617) 742-2100 ext. 362.

All Are Chosen: Stories of Lay Ministry and Leadership, edited by Margaret L. Beard and Roger W. Comstock, with a chapter on Creating the Intergenerational Community, by Cindy Spring. UUA Bookstore #7301 $15 (800) 215-9076