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In Times of Trouble, Call Conflict
Resolution Team
Try as we might, conflict is a part of life in many of our congregations.
A group may not like the direction the church is going. Someone feels
left out. There is too much spirituality on Sunday morning. Or not enough.
The minister or religious educator is going down the wrong path.
Sometimes we try to pretend everything's fine. But conflict seldom goes
away by itself. And it often gets worse.
That is why the Pacific Northwest District
of the Unitarian Universalist Association many years ago formed a team
to address conflict. First called the CONTACT Team (conflict training,
assessment, and consultation team) and now the Healthy Congregations
team, it is composed of 10 lay leaders and church professionals. Its
members visit congregations experiencing conflict and help them find
ways to resolve it.
The team visits six to seven congregations a year, says the Rev. Bruce
Davis, minister at Evergreen UU
Fellowship, Marysville, Wash., and co-leader of the team. Davis
tells the story of a 300-member congregation the team visited. "It
was having intense conflict with the minister. Many thought it was time
for the minister to move on, but there was a strong contingent that
felt the minister was not being given a fair shake." The team did
an assessment, got a sense of the strengths and weaknesses of the minister,
and talked to about half the members of the congregation.
The minister ultimately decided to leave, and the Healthy Congregations
team helped coordinate that separation and then talked with the congregation
about some of the issues that led to this ministry being shortened.
"We offered a variety of recommendations including board leadership
work," says Davis. "Now the congregation is working in much
healthier ways. The leadership is delighted with the process, and the
congregation is in a much healthier place."
Janine Larsen, district executive of the PNWD, was vice president of
the Woodinville UU Church, Woodinville,
Wash., when it developed a conflict several years ago. It was struggling
to raise money to buy land and build its first building while it was
sharing space in another congregation's building and holding services
on Sunday afternoons. Attendance had dropped and some blamed the minister.
The district team helped the congregation see that more was going on
than simple dissatisfaction with the minister. "Almost always when
a congregation comes to us it's under stress from several issues,"
Larsen says. "Often it's because of growth issues, when a congregation
is moving up or down in size."
"When the team came in," Larsen says, "we didn't know
how deep the issue was or what all was involved. The team held neighborhood
meetings with us and interviewed leaders. We had opportunities to listen
to each other. The folks who thought it was time for the minister to
go learned from others that they thought the minister was doing a fine
job."
As a result of the team visit, the church developed an internal conflict
resolution policy, strengthened the role of the Committee on Ministry,
and the leadership learned ways of leading a community under stress.
The minister still left, but because of the team visit, the congregation
was able to have a good parting with him, celebrating what they had
accomplished together. Now the congregation, which has a new building,
is beginning to grow again. Sunday attendance has gone from 30 to 100,
and work has begun on the second phase of a capital campaign.
PNWD congregations are learning that it pays to call the Healthy Congregations
team early, says Larsen. At district events the team does workshops
for leaders on what healthy congregations look like, and how to recognize
conflict. The cost of having the team come in can range from several
hundred dollars to several thousand. Fees can be waived in some circumstances.
In her 1999 book, Churchworks:
A Well-Body Book for Congregations, available through the UUA
Bookstore, the Rev. Anne Heller, former district executive for the
PNWD, highlights five levels of conflict, taken from work by Alban Institute
consultant Speed Leas. Davis describes them as follows:
1) The Problem: This level is simple problem-solving. I win.
You win.
2) The Disagreement: We struggle, but still want both sides to
win. We need someone to listen to us and help us move forward. Davis
says a midsized congregation recently asked the team to help it sort
out a Level 2 conflict it was having with its religious education program.
The RE group felt less supported by the congregation than in previous
years. In a single three-hour meeting the consultants listened as 40
people spoke. It turned out that the congregation had gained many older
members who were less focused on RE. The consultation helped the congregation
become aware of the RE issue. Says Davis, "Our consultants did
a great job of listening, and the individuals involved did a great job
of speaking their truth. Those involved in RE expressed their concerns,
and others recommitted themselves to a dynamic RE program. What was
most thrilling about this consultation was the solid recommitment of
everyone to the needs of the children and the realization that membership
growth itself stresses even the healthiest congregations."
3) The Contest: One side intends to win and have the other side
lose. Mudslinging begins, and information is distorted. "We do
a lot of Level 3 work," says Davis.
4) The Crusade: One side wants to win and banish the losers.
Groups don't talk to each other. They sit apart in the Sunday service.
Some members may quit. There may be a move to fire the minister. Says
Davis: "The most common work we do as a team is a Level 3 conflict
moving to a Level 4. The outcome of a Level 4 often is a split or separation
in the congregation. Often the minister or religious educator resigns
or a faction of the congregation leaves. And often a separation does
have to happen. Then our job is to facilitate a process much like a
mediator might facilitate a divorce."
5) The War of the Worlds: I win; I try to damage your reputation.
"There's no way for our Healthy Congregations team to help in a
Level 5 situation," says Davis. "That's when lawyers get involved."
For a Level 1 or 2 conflict the team may be able to do its work in one
or two visits. A high Level 3 or 4 requires a full assessment, which
involves one or two weekend visits, then returning to make recommendations.
Davis says most congregations will implement most of the recommendations.
"They may not like what we suggest, but it's painful to stay where
they are."
The first step for congregations experiencing conflict that seems unresolvable
from within is to contact their district executive, Davis says. All
districts have procedures for resolving conflicts.
A woman who was president of a mid-sized PNWD congregation when it called
in the team in response to a conflict says, "Even though it took
courage to examine ourselves, the process set us off on a much healthier
course as a community. We have challenges ahead, but we're facing them
more realistically. It meant a lot to have help and guidance during
that time."
April
2006 Index · Leadership Resources
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