Singing for the Green
Songs for Fun and Money from your
UUA Annual Program Fund Committee
Edited
by Paul Vancouver
Traverse City, Michigan
Annual Program Fund Region 2 Chair, 1993-97
UU FUN SONGS
Gimme That U.U. Religion
Robert’s Our Rules For Motions Passed
The Legend of the UUs Who Never Adjourned
Forward Through The Pages
God Rest You, Unitarians
I Am The Very Model of A Modern Unitarian
I Am The Very Model of A Modern U.U. Minister
A Mighty Fortress, Twenty-Five
What A Friend We Have In Jesus
Don’t Fence Me In
When We Meet in Fellowship
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee
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UU FUN & MONEY SONGS
Money, Money, Money
Dashing Through The Dough
O, For Pledges, Richly Paid
We’ve A Duty After All
The Expenses Keep Rolling Along
Get Your Pledge To Us On Time
Budget Time
Indian Love Call
Night And Day
Let’s Do It, Let’s Make A Pledge
Help Us Expand
We Gotta Have Cash
Everyone Who Has Some Cash
When They Begin The Campaign
Wouldn’t It Be Loverly
Back to Top
INDEX TO FIRST LINES
A mighty fortress, twenty-five
All we want is our church right here
Before we get started with the canvass campaign
Budget time, and the livin’ ain’t easy
Coffee, coffee, coffee
Dashing through the dough
Every day, every week, we don’t even have to peek
Everyone who has some cash is here
Forward thru the pages, never read a line
Gimme that U.U. religion
God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian
I am the very model of a modern U.U. minister
I know that gals do it, guys do it
Let me tell you a story of some good church people
Money! Money! Money!
Night and day, we need your pledge
O for pledges, richly paid
Oh, I’m a UU indeed for I’ve never had a creed
Oh, when we meet, in fellowship
Robert’s our rules for motions passed
We are here for business, among our peers
We’re going to canvass you some Sunday
What a friend we have in Jesus, what a friend in Socrates
What I like about this church is that it’s got it all!
When they begin the campaign
Will your pledge renew-oooo-ooo?
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GIMME
THAT U.U. RELIGION
Chorus:
Gimme that U.U. religion, gimme that U.U. religion,
Gimme that U.U. religion, it's good enough for me.
Verse (*These verses may be easier to sing)
*It was good 'nuff for Alice Carey; it was good 'nuff for Susan B.
Anth'ny;
It was good 'nuff for 'Lympia Brown, and it's good enough for me!
*Well, the Reverend Henry Bellows, and poets both Longfellows,
(there was Sam and Henry Wadsworth), and now there's even you!*There
was Edward Everett Hale, and old Florence Nightingale.
Clara Barton would not fail. Aren't you glad you're U.U. too!
*Horace Mann, he was no fool when he championed public school.
And remember Carolyn Soule. They were both you-know-what too!Well,
Louisa May Alcott wrote a book that many bought.
And in case you all forgot, it's called Little Women and she
was U.U.!
*Come, my children, you shall hear of the ride
of Paul Revere.
Listen well and never fear - he was Unitarian too.Elliot Richardson
is Republican, Adlai Stevenson is a Democrat.
I don't know about Kurt Vonnegut, but all three are U.U. too. *The
New York Tribune was really founded by one Horace Greeley,
A Universalist with great zealy, and it's good enough for me.*Have
you herad of Peter Rabbit? Well, he wasn't Unitarian
But Beatrix Potter who invented him was and that's good enough for
me. There was Antoinette Brown Blackwell, the first woman minister
in America.
Though she was ordained Congregationalist, she eventually became U.U.Who
invented the first locomotive, which drew the world's first public
passenger train?
You're right if you guessed George Stephenson, and you're right if
you guessed U.U. *You will never be alone with Margaret Fuller
and Lucy Stone.
And remember "Twilight Zone?" Well, Rod Serling was U.U. too.*Science
fiction fans are merry when I tell them Ray Bradbury
and Kurt Vonnegut are very Unitarian Universalist too. When John
Adams went to the first Continental Congress,
his wife wrote a letter saying, "Remeber the ladies!"
I guess John forgot, but Abigail Adams, thanks for tryin' and for
bein' U.U.*Andrew Hallidie is by far San Francisco's greatest
star,
'Cause he invented the cable car, and of course he was U.U. too. (She
was) the first married woman to keep her own name.
(She) even changed the vows to leave out (the) "obey."
Lucy Stone, you sure were ahead of your day, and we're glad you're
U.U. too.*Can a whale be Unitarian? Well, I nominate Moby Dick
then,
'Cause he invented the cable car, and of course he was U.U. too. *Have
you heard of Whitney Young, (director of the) Urban League in '61?
(Held it til) he died in '71, and he was you-know-what too.Well,
she wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic,
and she worked for women's rights,
And she also gave us Mother's Day, Julia Ward Howe, thanks for being
U.U.
*Well, it don't take much acumen to rejoice in being
human,
Especially when you know Paul Newman is a Unitarian too.
*All these people who went before, like our Mary Livermore,
Help me remember evermore, the spirit of U.U.
Tune: Give Me That Old Time Religion
Words: The Revival Portfolio from The Rev. Tony Larsen (Parson Larsen)
Olympia Brown U.U. Church, Racine, WI (included with permission)
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ROBERT’S OUR RULES FOR MOTIONS
PASSED
Robert’s our rules for motions passed,
Our guide for votes to come,
Our standard midst the stormy blast
Of speeches wearisome.
One scripture sure can truth impart,
The text to which we turn
From "call to order" at the start
‘Til we, at last, adjourn.
Whereas, therefore do we resolve
All questions clearly stated;
All human problems we will solve
By vote, when they’re debated.
We want to vote! We want to leave!
We want the talk to end!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
With motions to amend.
Robert’s our rules for motions passed,
Our guide for votes to come,
Be thou our law until the last
Of speeches wearisome.
Tune: O God, Our Help in Ages Past
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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THE LEGEND OF THE UU’S WHO NEVER
ADJOURNED
Let me tell you a story of some good church people
They were liberals every one
They sat down at the table, counted up the quorum
And declared the meeting begun.
But did they ever adjourn? No they never adjourned;
And their fate is still unlearned.
They may meet forever with the Rules of Robert,
The UUs who never adjourned.
They adopted the agenda; they corrected the minutes;
They elected a chair pro tem;
They amended the amendment, called the previous question,
Even sang out a closing hymn.
The chairperson’s husband comes down to the meeting
Every morning art quarter past eight
And out in the kitchen brews a pot of fresh coffee
For the folks who deliberate.
They debated the cost of computer paper
And the fine points of name tag use;
They debated the length of the minister’s sermons.
And the cookies and the juice.
On a point of order the vice chairperson
Breathed his last word with a sigh;
There was a minute of silence as old Charlie went off to
That committee meeting in the sky.
Tune:The M.T.A. by the Kingston Trio
Words:©1989, Robert R. Walsh, permission granted for noncommercial
use, with credit to author.
915 Tremont Street, Duxbury, Massachusetts 02332
Contributed by Jerry Gaynor, APF Chair, Pacific Southwest District
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FORWARD THRU THE PAGES
Forward thru the pages, never read a line.
Honor all the scriptures, think them all just fine.
Books of differing sizes, spread across our shelves;
We will never study them, we think for ourselves.
Chorus: Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine.Not alone in ignorance, not alone
at all;
Books by intellectuals cover every wall.
Bound in cloth and paper is our library;
Never read a volume, keep our minds quite free. Chorus:
Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine.Wider grow our bookshelves, storehouse
of insight--
Ev’ry source of goodness, beauty, truth, and right.
Philosophers have written, prophets testified,
Poets, artists, sages -- leave their works aside. Chorus:
Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine. Tune:Forward Thru The Ages,
SKA: Onward Christian Soldiers!
Words: Hymns For The Cerebration Of Strife
© 1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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GOD REST YE, UNITARIANS
God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there’s no evidence
There was a Christmas Day;
When Christ was born is just not known,
No matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Our current Christmas customs come
From Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.
This whole darn Christmas spiel is just
Another pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
There was no star of Bethlehem,
There was no angels’ song;
There couldn’t have been wise men
For the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Tune: God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen
Words:Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN
UNITARIAN
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian
Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian.
I know the world’s religions and can trace their roots historical,
From Moses up to Channing, all in order categorical.
I’m very well acquainted, too, with theories theological,
On existential questions, I am always wholly logical,
About most any problem, I am teeming with a lot of views,
I’m full of fine ideas that should fill the church’s empty pews.
I quote from Freud and Jung and all the experts psychological,
I’m anti-nuke, I don’t pollute, I’m chastely ecological.
I’m short in matters spir-ri-tu-al, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today’s religious liberal.
I use the latest language: God is never Father or the Lord,
But Ground of Being, Source of Life, or almost any other word.
I never pray, I meditate, I’m leery about worshiping,
I serve on ten committees, not of which accomplish anything!
I give to worthy causes and I drive a gas-conserving car,
I have good UU principles (although I don’t remember what they are).
I’m open to opinions of profound and broad variety,
Unless they’re too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
I can formulate agendas a discuss ‘em with the best of ‘em,
But don’t ask me to implement; I leave that to the rest of ‘em.
In short, in matters spir-ri-tu-al, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today’s religious liberal.
I’m on the lists of charities and PAC’s and causes by the score,
So I plead poverty when UU canvassers come to my door.
I have to want to give, for I’m impervious to guilt and fear;
I hate to deal with pleas for funds that I don’t really want to hear.
Words like "duty," "pledge," and "vision"
make my skin begin to crawl,
And "mission", "sacrifice" and "tithing"
drive me up the wall.
You know I’d never leave our fine Association in the lurch;
I put five dollars in the plate ‘most every time I come to church!
I'm active in my congregation, generous with my advice,
It's hard to make commitments, and I hope intentions will suffice,
If I could shed these hangups, both of spirit and material,
I'd be the very model of a true religious liberal.
Tune:
Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General"
Words: by Elisabeth J. McGregor, Unitarian Church of Sharon MA, a
UUA Trustee.
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I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN
U.U. MINISTER
I am the very model of a modern U.U. minister,
Despite what Jerry Falwell says, I’m nothing very sinister.
I give a high priority to matters congregational;
I say with all due modesty, my sermons are sensational.
I offer a philosophy that isn’t very orthodox,
With me you’ll feel most comfortable, just like a pair of wooly sox.
I must confess the truth, it is, my very earnest hope, you see,
That I will get a pay hike if you swallow my hyperbole.
CHORUS: He must confess the truth, it is
His very earnest hope, you see,
That he will get a pay hike if
We swallow his hyperbole
It’s true I’m the epitome of all that’s good and clerical;
My colleagues are so jealous, their reaction is hysterical.
I have a reputation as a man who is fastidious;
I’ll clean the walls and floors and halls; some say it is insidious.
To keep my health and clear my mind, I am a man who runs a lot;
But best of all, at sermon time, I also can make puns a lot.
I shamelessly recount to you the virtues of your reverend,
I’ll wrap it up because I’ll bet you thought this song would never
end.
CHORUS:He shamelessly recounts to you
The virtues of your reverend
He’ll wrap it up because he bets
You thought this song would never end.
Tune: Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General"
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB, APF
Song Book
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A MIGHTY FORTRESS, TWENTY FIVE
A mighty fortress, twenty-five,
The bulwark of our failings;
Our fragile faith it keeps alive
By means of many mailings.
A packet ev’ry day
Keeps troubles all away;
All strain, stress, strife and storm
Are faced with letters form --
The printed page prevailing!
It stands amidst the earthly powers
On Beacon Street, unbending.
Its spirit and its strength are ours,
If money we keep sending.
Let goods and gifts all flow
To Boston for the show;
If pledges we all pay,
Long live the UUA --
An empire never ending!
Tune: A Mighty Fortress
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS, WHAT
A FRIEND IN SOCRATES
What a friend we have in Jesus, what a friend in Socrates.
What a friend we have in Buddha, to the kingdom we have keys.
We believe in many saviors, we believe in many seers.
Souls whose universal gospel, speaks to us across the years.
What a friend we have in Moses, what a friend in Esther, too.
We have Lao-zi and Confucius, and a prophet lives in you.
When you’re weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care,
Think of friends thruout the ages, ev’ry when and ev’rywhere.
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged. U U saints are ev’rywhere.
Souls like President John Adams, souls like Olympia Brown.
Oh, what friends we have to guide us. Oh, what sages we have found.
What a friend in Charles Darwin, what a friend in Susan B.
What a friend in Clara Barton, they all helped to make us free.
What a friend in P.T. Barnum, what a friend in Jefferson.
We’ve four hundred years of friendship, and you bet there’s more to
come.
Tune: What A Friend We Have In Jesus
Words:The Revival Portfolio from The Rev. Tony Larsen (Parson Larsen)
Olympia Brown
U.U. Church, Racine WI
Sung at Annual Meeting, April 13, 1996
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse, Traverse City
MI
Used with permission
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DON’T FENCE ME IN
Oh, I’m a UU indeed for I’ve never had a creed
Don’t fence me in
I’m as content as can be with my own theology
Don’t fence me in
Let me speak out my mind for it’s understood
There’s only one commitment here — it’s brotherhood
If we help each other, we will all feel good
But don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose,
Let me wander as I ponder on the meaning of my life
Love and respect
Are the principles that guide us, seeking peace instead of strife
I want to be one with humankind and converse
With the living web of the universe
I can’t follow dogma, I find doctrine worse
Don’t fence me in.
Tune:"Don’t Fence Me In"
Words: Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the APF Continental
Committee
at General Assembly ‘93 Charlotte NC
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WHEN WE MEET IN FELLOWSHIP
Oh, when we meet
In fellowship
Oh, when we meet in fellowship
Oh, aren’t you glad to be in that number
When we meet in fellowship.
Each one of us
Makes up the church
Each one of us makes up the church
Yes, "one for all and all together"
Each one of us makes up the church.
Tonight’s the night
We celebrate
Tonight’s the night we celebrate
The future of our congregation
Tonight’s the night we celebrate
(Repeat first verse)
Tune: "When The Saints Go Marching In" ...
Words: © 1989 Edward Simon Eckert and Madelaine Devereaux
Eckert
used by permission from Carol Agate
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COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE
Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Praise the strength of coffee.
Early in the morn we rise with thoughts of only thee.
Served fresh or reheated,
Dark by thee defeated,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Though all else we scoff we
Come to church for coffee;
If we’re late to congregate, we come in time for thee.
Coffee our one ritual,
Drinking it habitual,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Coffee the communion
Of our Uni-Union,
Symbol of our sacred ground, our one necessity.
Feel the holy power
At our coffee hour,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Tune: Holy, Holy, Holy
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible, used with permission.
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MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
Money! Money! Money!
Our church needs your money!
We won’t grow unless you give
Enthusiastically!
‘Taint like milk and honey
Budgeting your money
When your offerings impress us
Underwhelmingly!
You know we’re not wealthy,
Pledges keep us healthy,
Please pledge with love and
Generosity!
Unlike the boll weevil
Money’s not an evil,
All we need is just enough
To pay bills easily!
Income! Moolah! Money!
Makes our outlook sunny,
Starts off our week
Ecclesiastically!
Tune: "Holy, Holy, Holy"
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
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DASHING THROUGH THE DOUGH
Dashing through the dough,
In a rather frantic way,
O’er the year we go,
Hoping you will pay!
Bells and whistles ring,
Keeping spirits bright,
When you pay to APF
Your Fair Share which is right!
Oh, APF, APF, Fair Share all the way!
Oh when fun it is to be a Fair Share church today!
Oh, APF, APF, Fair Share all the way!
Helping all the programs of the entire UUA!
Tune: "Jingle Bells"
Words: David Dessens, Canadian Unitarian Council
Composed in Boston MA, November, 1995
for inclusion in this publication.
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O FOR PLEDGES RICHLY PAID
O for pledges richly paid,
Capital unspent and free,
Flowing in from profits made
And from generosity.
Ever learn the chosen few,
When elected to the Board,
That the things we want to do
Cost more than we can afford.
Concentrating hard to find
Ways for budgets to be slashed,
So expenses are confined
To the limits of our cash.
O what wonders there could be
If we could forget the price,
If all people were as free
With their funds as their advice.
O for pledges richly paid,
Capital unspent and free,
Flowing in from profits made
And from generosity.
Tune: Rock of Ages
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible, Used with permission.
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THE EXPENSES KEEP ROLLING ALONG
Every day, every week, we don’t even have to peek
‘Cause expenses keep rolling along
Pay for heat, pay for light,
It continues day and night,
Those expenses keep rolling along!
It’s like A. B. C., we deplete the treasury,
Hoping our pledges don’t go wrong.
So you all must know
We sure need your dough,
‘Cause expenses keep rolling along!
Tune: "The Caissons Keep Rolling Along"
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
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WE’VE A DUTY AFTER ALL ...
We are here for business, among our peers
We are her to work and to mesh our gears
There’s so much that we share
That it’s time we’re aware
We’ve a duty after all!
CHORUS:There’s a budget to support
There’s a budget to support
There’s a budget to support
We’ve a duty after all!
There is one sure way, that’s to make a pledge
Give your very best, never ever hedge
If you think that you can’t
Please don’t rave and don’t rant
We’ve a duty after all!
CHORUS:....
Tune: "It’s A Small World After All
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB,
APF Song Book
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GET YOUR PLEDGE TO US ON TIME
We’re going to canvass you some Sunday,
Our church needs each and every dime.
Spare us the stall points,
Pull out your ball points,
And get your pledge to us on time!
We’ve got to have a balanced budget,
Income and outgo gotta rhyme,
If not, we’ll rue it,
You all can do it!
Just get your pledge to us on time!
When we come calling, unlatch your door,
You’ll make us happy, just by pledging more.
Yes, we’re going to canvass you some Sunday,
Income and outgo gotta rhyme,
Spruce up your juices,
Make no excuses,
And get your pledge to us ...
Get your pledge to us ...
For Pete’s sake get your pledge to us on time!
Tune: Get Me To The Church On Time
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
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BUDGET TIME
Budget time, and the livin’ ain’t easy;
Costs are jumpin’, and inflation is high.
Oh, your church ain’t rich,
And there’s things that need fixin’;
And every committee wants a piece of the pie.
One of these mornings,
We’ll have more outgo than income,
And we’ll watch our bills,
As they climb to the sky;
So keep that morning’
Off our calendar this year,
When canvassers call, and ask to stop by.
Tunes: Summertime
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92 APF Song Book
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INDIAN LOVE CALL
Female: Will your pledge renew-oooo-ooo?
Male: I’ll contribute too-ooo-ooo.
That means I offer to help
The UU church in town
Female: If you refuse me I will be blue,
And wearing quite a frown.
Male: So if when you hear
My loose change jingling near,
And I hear your "thank you" so loudly and clear,
Both: Then church will be our reason to cheer
For we’ll pay our bills for another year!
Tunes: Indian Love Call
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92 APF Song Book
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NIGHT AND DAY
Night and day, we need your pledge
Only you, each one of you can give us the edge
Whether minuscule or big
It matters, people, how deep you dig — it really does
Night and day
Day and night, why is it so?
Seems like each time you turn ‘round we’re asking for dough
In the festive holidays
In the quiet, hazy, summer laze
We call on you, night and day
Night and day we need your pledge amount
There’s an oh, such a hungry yearning here in our bank account
And our torment won’t be through
‘til we have a healthy pledge of big bucks from you
Day and night, night and day
Tune: Night and Day
Words:Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the
APF Continental Committee at GA ‘93, Charlotte NC
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LET’S DO IT, LET’S MAKE A PLEDGE
(substitute your own local place names)
I know that gals do it, guys do it
Out in Wykoff all the wise do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
You’ll get a thrill through it, will do it
In Ho-Ho- they Kus but still do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledgeRidgewooders
should, and they could do it
Singles husbands and wives
Glen Rockers flock to it
It’s our annual drive
In Ramsey, see to it, we do it
Each and ev’ry fam’ly will agree to
it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledgeIn
Franklin Lakes do it, take to it
Let’s be frank and let our bank do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
Waldwicker’s sure give their all to it
While in Fairlawn they’re fair
In Wayne, even malls do it
Give the UU’s a shareSo
be a high liver, big giver
Even folks from low or Upper Saddle River
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
Tune: Let’s Do It
Words: Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5,
1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU"
performed by the APF Con Com at GA ‘93 Charlotte
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HELP US EXPAND!
Before we get started with the Canvass Campaign
There are some things we should explain
Your Canvass Caller is a volunteer
And raising funds is not her real career
So if a kindly demeanor you’ll maintain
We’ve got an awful lot to gain
And would you like to help us expand
Give the Canvass a helping hand
Share the future that we’ve all planned
Or would you rather be a duck?
A duck keeps avoiding all his canvasser’s calls
He makes excuses and he stalls
"I’m much too busy" is his lame refrain
He gives he canvasser a royal pain
So if escape is your way to save a buck
You may be acting like a duck.
Or would you like to help us expand
Give the Canvass a helping hand
Maybe donate a couple of grand
Then maybe you can be a deer
A deer knows her canvasser is giving his time
To make the job tough would be a crime
The deer invites him like a welcome friend
And makes a generous pledge at the end
So if you’d like our new building to appear
Support the Canvass like a deer
And all the animals in the zoo
Wish that they could contribute too
But friends you know it’s all up to you
You know our future could be grand
If you’ll just help us to expand!
Tune: "Swinging on a Star"; September 30, 1995
Words: Bob Nash, The Unitarian Society of Ridgewood NJ, used by
permission.
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WE GOTTA HAVE CASH!
A, B, C & D enter STAGE LEFT
A: What I like about this church is that it’s got it all!
B: I know what you mean. It sure meets all my needs.
C: I’ll say. As far as I’m concerned this church doesn’t need a
thing.
D: Well that’s not totally right ... we are lacking in one area
...
A, B & C: What are you talking about? Whatta you mean? Etc.
D: What we really need is cash
A, B & C: Yeah, we gotta have cash!
A: A new service, we don’t need
B: A new Rev’rend, we don’t need
C: A new choir, we don’t need
ALL: Whadda we need?
ALL: We gotta have cash
Piles and piles and piles of cash
See your canvasser and fill out your card
‘Cause we need your hard cold cash.
We gotta have dough
We’ve got miles and miles to go
Gotta follow through with our fiscal plan
To take in more than we owe.
C: Each and ev'ry contribution
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
D: Helps to keep the church afloat
(ALL): Oh, oh oh
B: Pledging big is the solution
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
A: We don't want to miss the boat
ALL: We're on the brink and we might si-nk...
ALL: We gotta have cash
Line the aisles with piles of cash
All together we'll get back in the swim
So, come on, dive in - and with a splash
"Cause we gotta have cash
C: If you want to was poetic
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
D: You will find where'er you roam
(ALL): Roam, roam, roam
B: That in matters a-rith-me'-tic
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
A: Churches live by bread alone
ALL: And that ain't funny, we mean money...
ALL: We gotta have cash
Line the aisles with piles of cash
We can make it if we all buckle down
We're bound to rebound - and with panache
C: Just like our numbers keep increasing
B: Expenses have grown
D: We gotta prove that charity begins at home
ALL: Put some heart in it!
We need cash
We need cash
We need cash!
Tune: "Heart" from "Damn Yankees"
Used by permission from Carol Agate
Words: copyright 1989 Edward Simon Eckert and Madelaine Devereaux
Eckert
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EVERYONE WHO HAS SOME
CASH IS HERE
Everyone who has some cash is here
We will even take your plastic here
Pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters
Dollars, tens and twenties, yes we’ll take them all
You can choose from many, many levels
Of giving here today
There is helping and supporting and of course,
Sustaining levels you can pay
We love giving; Caring, sharing, music, sermons
They all need our loving giving,
*Quartet:
Any second now, they will come around
Look, their pencil’s sharp and
They are writing figures down,
It has begun ...
When you share the wealth with others,
You’ll ensure this place will be right here
For the world to see our glow
And want to come to know how wonderful we are.
Tune: "Ascot Gavotte Processional"
Words: Submitted by Judy Pickett for the G.A. ‘92, Calgary, APF
Song Book
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WHEN THEY BEGIN THE CAMPAIGN
When they begin the campaign
It starts with a night of festival splendor
It starts with a night of music so tender
Oh, when the begin, begin the campaign.
We’re with you once more, in Anderson Hall
And inside the door, dear Winnie is playing
A chorus of clowns is singing and swaying
When the begin the campaign.
Oh yes, let them begin the campaign, let us pay
Let the fellowship fun and faith remain above you
Give, Jack, Anita, and Art a reason to love you
And we suddenly know
What heaven we’re in
When they begin
The campaign
When they begin the campaign.
Tune: When They Begin the Beguine
Words:Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the APF
Con Com at GA ‘93 Charlotte NC
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WOULDN’T IT BE LOVERLY?
All we want is our church right here
Filled with folks who are full of cheer
With funds so we won’t fear
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly
Lots of coffee for us to drink
Lots of programs to make us think
Some cash to fix the sink
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly
Oh, so loverly giving to support the fellowship
We’ll give freely so the board
Won’t have to use a whip
We will give till we feel real good
Doing more than we thought we could
It seems like what we should
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly,
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly.
Tunes: Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?
Words: General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB, APF Song Book
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SINGING FOR THE GREEN
Songs for Fun and Money from your
Unitarian Universalist Association
Annual Program Fund Continental Committee
June, 1997
by Paul Vancouver
Traverse City, Michigan
Annual Program Fund Region 2 Chair, 1993-97
YOU AND YOUR CONGREGATION can have fun while you are fund-raising.
These songs can be used at your Fellowship Dinner or another event
you stage to kick-off, hold in the middle of or conclude your annual
canvass. You might even use one or more of these songs as part of
a Sunday morning service, as you "warm up" the congregation
and encourage their generous financial commitment to your faith
community!
AT THE ANNUAL PROGRAM FUND (APF) OFFICE, we have a few sample skits
used at Fellowship Dinners and similar events. Contact the APF Office,
25 Beacon Street, Boston MA 02108; 617-948-6512; apf@uua.org.
CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MEMBER CONGREGATIONS TO THE APF, which provide
about 37% of the Association's income, support programs, services
and resources that directly benefit and strengthen
the congregations themselves and Unitarian Universalism as a whole.
By voluntarily joining together, we can create religious education
curricula and social justice programs. We can provide support for
ministry, growth, extension, outreach and public witness. Each independent
congregation has the opportunity as a group to help fund the work
of the Association and to be part of an interdependent religius
community. YOU CAN HELP BY ENCOURAGING YOUR CONGREGATION TO GIVE
ITS "FAIR SHARE" EVERY YEAR. Fair Share is the minimum
contribution requested from member congregations by the UUA Board
of Trustees.
THE APF CONTINENTAL COMMITTEE -- a group of 25 committed volunteers,
appointed by the UUA Board -- supports APF in the Districts and
works in concert with the UUA Development Department to bring the
message of UUA programs and services to congregations, encourages
Fair Share support and answers questions about the APF. For the
name, address, telephone and email address of your District's APF
Chair, contact your District Office or APF Director Mary Miles at
the APF Office or mmiles@uua.org.
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UU FUN SONGS
Gimme That U.U. Religion
Robert’s Our Rules For Motions Passed
The Legend of the UUs Who Never Adjourned
Forward Through The Pages
God Rest You, Unitarians
I Am The Very Model of A Modern Unitarian
I Am The Very Model of A Modern U.U. Minister
A Mighty Fortress, Twenty-Five
What A Friend We Have In Jesus
Don’t Fence Me In
When We Meet in Fellowship
Coffee, Coffee, Coffee
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UU FUN & MONEY SONGS
INDEX TO FIRST LINES
A mighty fortress, twenty-five
All we want is our church right here
Before we get started with the canvass campaign
Budget time, and the livin’ ain’t easy
Coffee, coffee, coffee
Dashing through the dough
Every day, every week, we don’t even have to peek
Everyone who has some cash is here
Forward thru the pages, never read a line
Gimme that U.U. religion
God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian
I am the very model of a modern U.U. minister
I know that gals do it, guys do it
Let me tell you a story of some good church people
Money! Money! Money!
Night and day, we need your pledge
O for pledges, richly paid
Oh, I’m a UU indeed for I’ve never had a creed
Oh, when we meet, in fellowship
Robert’s our rules for motions passed
We are here for business, among our peers
We’re going to canvass you some Sunday
What a friend we have in Jesus, what a friend in Socrates
What I like about this church is that it’s got it all!
When they begin the campaign
Will your pledge renew-oooo-ooo?
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GIMME
THAT U.U. RELIGION
Chorus:
Gimme that U.U. religion, gimme that U.U. religion,
Gimme that U.U. religion, it's good enough for me.
Verse (*These verses may be easier to sing)
*It was good 'nuff for Alice Carey; it was good 'nuff for Susan B.
Anth'ny;
It was good 'nuff for 'Lympia Brown, and it's good enough for me!
*Well, the Reverend Henry Bellows, and poets both Longfellows,
(there was Sam and Henry Wadsworth), and now there's even you!*There
was Edward Everett Hale, and old Florence Nightingale.
Clara Barton would not fail. Aren't you glad you're U.U. too!
*Horace Mann, he was no fool when he championed public school.
And remember Carolyn Soule. They were both you-know-what too!Well,
Louisa May Alcott wrote a book that many bought.
And in case you all forgot, it's called Little Women and she
was U.U.!
*Come, my children, you shall hear of the ride
of Paul Revere.
Listen well and never fear - he was Unitarian too.Elliot Richardson
is Republican, Adlai Stevenson is a Democrat.
I don't know about Kurt Vonnegut, but all three are U.U. too. *The
New York Tribune was really founded by one Horace Greeley,
A Universalist with great zealy, and it's good enough for me.*Have
you herad of Peter Rabbit? Well, he wasn't Unitarian
But Beatrix Potter who invented him was and that's good enough for
me. There was Antoinette Brown Blackwell, the first woman minister
in America.
Though she was ordained Congregationalist, she eventually became U.U.Who
invented the first locomotive, which drew the world's first public
passenger train?
You're right if you guessed George Stephenson, and you're right if
you guessed U.U. *You will never be alone with Margaret Fuller
and Lucy Stone.
And remember "Twilight Zone?" Well, Rod Serling was U.U. too.*Science
fiction fans are merry when I tell them Ray Bradbury
and Kurt Vonnegut are very Unitarian Universalist too. When John
Adams went to the first Continental Congress,
his wife wrote a letter saying, "Remeber the ladies!"
I guess John forgot, but Abigail Adams, thanks for tryin' and for
bein' U.U.*Andrew Hallidie is by far San Francisco's greatest
star,
'Cause he invented the cable car, and of course he was U.U. too. (She
was) the first married woman to keep her own name.
(She) even changed the vows to leave out (the) "obey."
Lucy Stone, you sure were ahead of your day, and we're glad you're
U.U. too.*Can a whale be Unitarian? Well, I nominate Moby Dick
then,
'Cause he invented the cable car, and of course he was U.U. too. *Have
you heard of Whitney Young, (director of the) Urban League in '61?
(Held it til) he died in '71, and he was you-know-what too.Well,
she wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic,
and she worked for women's rights,
And she also gave us Mother's Day, Julia Ward Howe, thanks for being
U.U.
*Well, it don't take much acumen to rejoice in being
human,
Especially when you know Paul Newman is a Unitarian too.
*All these people who went before, like our Mary Livermore,
Help me remember evermore, the spirit of U.U.
Tune: Give Me That Old Time Religion
Words: The Revival Portfolio from The Rev. Tony Larsen (Parson Larsen)
Olympia Brown U.U. Church, Racine, WI (included with permission)
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ROBERT’S OUR RULES FOR MOTIONS
PASSED
Robert’s our rules for motions passed,
Our guide for votes to come,
Our standard midst the stormy blast
Of speeches wearisome.
One scripture sure can truth impart,
The text to which we turn
From "call to order" at the start
‘Til we, at last, adjourn.
Whereas, therefore do we resolve
All questions clearly stated;
All human problems we will solve
By vote, when they’re debated.
We want to vote! We want to leave!
We want the talk to end!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
With motions to amend.
Robert’s our rules for motions passed,
Our guide for votes to come,
Be thou our law until the last
Of speeches wearisome.
Tune: O God, Our Help in Ages Past
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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THE LEGEND OF THE UU’S WHO NEVER
ADJOURNED
Let me tell you a story of some good church people
They were liberals every one
They sat down at the table, counted up the quorum
And declared the meeting begun.
But did they ever adjourn? No they never adjourned;
And their fate is still unlearned.
They may meet forever with the Rules of Robert,
The UUs who never adjourned.
They adopted the agenda; they corrected the minutes;
They elected a chair pro tem;
They amended the amendment, called the previous question,
Even sang out a closing hymn.
The chairperson’s husband comes down to the meeting
Every morning art quarter past eight
And out in the kitchen brews a pot of fresh coffee
For the folks who deliberate.
They debated the cost of computer paper
And the fine points of name tag use;
They debated the length of the minister’s sermons.
And the cookies and the juice.
On a point of order the vice chairperson
Breathed his last word with a sigh;
There was a minute of silence as old Charlie went off to
That committee meeting in the sky.
Tune:The M.T.A. by the Kingston Trio
Words:©1989, Robert R. Walsh, permission granted for noncommercial
use, with credit to author.
915 Tremont Street, Duxbury, Massachusetts 02332
Contributed by Jerry Gaynor, APF Chair, Pacific Southwest District
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FORWARD THRU THE PAGES
Forward thru the pages, never read a line.
Honor all the scriptures, think them all just fine.
Books of differing sizes, spread across our shelves;
We will never study them, we think for ourselves.
Chorus: Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine.Not alone in ignorance, not alone
at all;
Books by intellectuals cover every wall.
Bound in cloth and paper is our library;
Never read a volume, keep our minds quite free. Chorus:
Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine.Wider grow our bookshelves, storehouse
of insight--
Ev’ry source of goodness, beauty, truth, and right.
Philosophers have written, prophets testified,
Poets, artists, sages -- leave their works aside. Chorus:
Forward through the pages,
Never read a line;
Honor all the scriptures,
Think them all just fine. Tune:Forward Thru The Ages,
SKA: Onward Christian Soldiers!
Words: Hymns For The Cerebration Of Strife
© 1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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GOD REST YE, UNITARIANS
God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there’s no evidence
There was a Christmas Day;
When Christ was born is just not known,
No matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Our current Christmas customs come
From Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.
This whole darn Christmas spiel is just
Another pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
There was no star of Bethlehem,
There was no angels’ song;
There couldn’t have been wise men
For the trip would take too long.
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Tune: God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen
Words:Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN
UNITARIAN
I am the very model of a modern Unitarian
Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian.
I know the world’s religions and can trace their roots historical,
From Moses up to Channing, all in order categorical.
I’m very well acquainted, too, with theories theological,
On existential questions, I am always wholly logical,
About most any problem, I am teeming with a lot of views,
I’m full of fine ideas that should fill the church’s empty pews.
I quote from Freud and Jung and all the experts psychological,
I’m anti-nuke, I don’t pollute, I’m chastely ecological.
I’m short in matters spir-ri-tu-al, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today’s religious liberal.
I use the latest language: God is never Father or the Lord,
But Ground of Being, Source of Life, or almost any other word.
I never pray, I meditate, I’m leery about worshiping,
I serve on ten committees, not of which accomplish anything!
I give to worthy causes and I drive a gas-conserving car,
I have good UU principles (although I don’t remember what they are).
I’m open to opinions of profound and broad variety,
Unless they’re too conservative or smack of righteous piety.
I can formulate agendas a discuss ‘em with the best of ‘em,
But don’t ask me to implement; I leave that to the rest of ‘em.
In short, in matters spir-ri-tu-al, ethical, material,
I am the very model of today’s religious liberal.
I’m on the lists of charities and PAC’s and causes by the score,
So I plead poverty when UU canvassers come to my door.
I have to want to give, for I’m impervious to guilt and fear;
I hate to deal with pleas for funds that I don’t really want to hear.
Words like "duty," "pledge," and "vision"
make my skin begin to crawl,
And "mission", "sacrifice" and "tithing"
drive me up the wall.
You know I’d never leave our fine Association in the lurch;
I put five dollars in the plate ‘most every time I come to church!
I'm active in my congregation, generous with my advice,
It's hard to make commitments, and I hope intentions will suffice,
If I could shed these hangups, both of spirit and material,
I'd be the very model of a true religious liberal.
Tune:
Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General"
Words: by Elisabeth J. McGregor, Unitarian Church of Sharon MA, a
UUA Trustee.
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I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN
U.U. MINISTER
I am the very model of a modern U.U. minister,
Despite what Jerry Falwell says, I’m nothing very sinister.
I give a high priority to matters congregational;
I say with all due modesty, my sermons are sensational.
I offer a philosophy that isn’t very orthodox,
With me you’ll feel most comfortable, just like a pair of wooly sox.
I must confess the truth, it is, my very earnest hope, you see,
That I will get a pay hike if you swallow my hyperbole.
CHORUS: He must confess the truth, it is
His very earnest hope, you see,
That he will get a pay hike if
We swallow his hyperbole
It’s true I’m the epitome of all that’s good and clerical;
My colleagues are so jealous, their reaction is hysterical.
I have a reputation as a man who is fastidious;
I’ll clean the walls and floors and halls; some say it is insidious.
To keep my health and clear my mind, I am a man who runs a lot;
But best of all, at sermon time, I also can make puns a lot.
I shamelessly recount to you the virtues of your reverend,
I’ll wrap it up because I’ll bet you thought this song would never
end.
CHORUS:He shamelessly recounts to you
The virtues of your reverend
He’ll wrap it up because he bets
You thought this song would never end.
Tune: Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General"
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB, APF
Song Book
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A MIGHTY FORTRESS, TWENTY FIVE
A mighty fortress, twenty-five,
The bulwark of our failings;
Our fragile faith it keeps alive
By means of many mailings.
A packet ev’ry day
Keeps troubles all away;
All strain, stress, strife and storm
Are faced with letters form --
The printed page prevailing!
It stands amidst the earthly powers
On Beacon Street, unbending.
Its spirit and its strength are ours,
If money we keep sending.
Let goods and gifts all flow
To Boston for the show;
If pledges we all pay,
Long live the UUA --
An empire never ending!
Tune: A Mighty Fortress
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible
Used with permission.
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WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS, WHAT
A FRIEND IN SOCRATES
What a friend we have in Jesus, what a friend in Socrates.
What a friend we have in Buddha, to the kingdom we have keys.
We believe in many saviors, we believe in many seers.
Souls whose universal gospel, speaks to us across the years.
What a friend we have in Moses, what a friend in Esther, too.
We have Lao-zi and Confucius, and a prophet lives in you.
When you’re weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care,
Think of friends thruout the ages, ev’ry when and ev’rywhere.
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged. U U saints are ev’rywhere.
Souls like President John Adams, souls like Olympia Brown.
Oh, what friends we have to guide us. Oh, what sages we have found.
What a friend in Charles Darwin, what a friend in Susan B.
What a friend in Clara Barton, they all helped to make us free.
What a friend in P.T. Barnum, what a friend in Jefferson.
We’ve four hundred years of friendship, and you bet there’s more to
come.
Tune: What A Friend We Have In Jesus
Words:The Revival Portfolio from The Rev. Tony Larsen (Parson Larsen)
Olympia Brown
U.U. Church, Racine WI
Sung at Annual Meeting, April 13, 1996
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Grand Traverse, Traverse City
MI
Used with permission
top
DON’T FENCE ME IN
Oh, I’m a UU indeed for I’ve never had a creed
Don’t fence me in
I’m as content as can be with my own theology
Don’t fence me in
Let me speak out my mind for it’s understood
There’s only one commitment here — it’s brotherhood
If we help each other, we will all feel good
But don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose,
Let me wander as I ponder on the meaning of my life
Love and respect
Are the principles that guide us, seeking peace instead of strife
I want to be one with humankind and converse
With the living web of the universe
I can’t follow dogma, I find doctrine worse
Don’t fence me in.
Tune:"Don’t Fence Me In"
Words: Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the APF Continental
Committee
at General Assembly ‘93 Charlotte NC
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WHEN WE MEET IN FELLOWSHIP
Oh, when we meet
In fellowship
Oh, when we meet in fellowship
Oh, aren’t you glad to be in that number
When we meet in fellowship.
Each one of us
Makes up the church
Each one of us makes up the church
Yes, "one for all and all together"
Each one of us makes up the church.
Tonight’s the night
We celebrate
Tonight’s the night we celebrate
The future of our congregation
Tonight’s the night we celebrate
(Repeat first verse)
Tune: "When The Saints Go Marching In" ...
Words: © 1989 Edward Simon Eckert and Madelaine Devereaux
Eckert
used by permission from Carol Agate
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COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE
Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Praise the strength of coffee.
Early in the morn we rise with thoughts of only thee.
Served fresh or reheated,
Dark by thee defeated,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Though all else we scoff we
Come to church for coffee;
If we’re late to congregate, we come in time for thee.
Coffee our one ritual,
Drinking it habitual,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Coffee the communion
Of our Uni-Union,
Symbol of our sacred ground, our one necessity.
Feel the holy power
At our coffee hour,
Brewed black by perk or drip or instantly.
Tune: Holy, Holy, Holy
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible, used with permission.
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MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
Money! Money! Money!
Our church needs your money!
We won’t grow unless you give
Enthusiastically!
‘Taint like milk and honey
Budgeting your money
When your offerings impress us
Underwhelmingly!
You know we’re not wealthy,
Pledges keep us healthy,
Please pledge with love and
Generosity!
Unlike the boll weevil
Money’s not an evil,
All we need is just enough
To pay bills easily!
Income! Moolah! Money!
Makes our outlook sunny,
Starts off our week
Ecclesiastically!
Tune: "Holy, Holy, Holy"
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
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DASHING THROUGH THE DOUGH
Dashing through the dough,
In a rather frantic way,
O’er the year we go,
Hoping you will pay!
Bells and whistles ring,
Keeping spirits bright,
When you pay to APF
Your Fair Share which is right!
Oh, APF, APF, Fair Share all the way!
Oh when fun it is to be a Fair Share church today!
Oh, APF, APF, Fair Share all the way!
Helping all the programs of the entire UUA!
Tune: "Jingle Bells"
Words: David Dessens, Canadian Unitarian Council
Composed in Boston MA, November, 1995
for inclusion in this publication.
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O FOR PLEDGES RICHLY PAID
O for pledges richly paid,
Capital unspent and free,
Flowing in from profits made
And from generosity.
Ever learn the chosen few,
When elected to the Board,
That the things we want to do
Cost more than we can afford.
Concentrating hard to find
Ways for budgets to be slashed,
So expenses are confined
To the limits of our cash.
O what wonders there could be
If we could forget the price,
If all people were as free
With their funds as their advice.
O for pledges richly paid,
Capital unspent and free,
Flowing in from profits made
And from generosity.
Tune: Rock of Ages
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
©1990 by Christopher Raible, Used with permission.
top
THE EXPENSES KEEP ROLLING ALONG
Every day, every week, we don’t even have to peek
‘Cause expenses keep rolling along
Pay for heat, pay for light,
It continues day and night,
Those expenses keep rolling along!
It’s like A. B. C., we deplete the treasury,
Hoping our pledges don’t go wrong.
So you all must know
We sure need your dough,
‘Cause expenses keep rolling along!
Tune: "The Caissons Keep Rolling Along"
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
top
WE’VE A DUTY AFTER ALL ...
We are here for business, among our peers
We are her to work and to mesh our gears
There’s so much that we share
That it’s time we’re aware
We’ve a duty after all!
CHORUS:There’s a budget to support
There’s a budget to support
There’s a budget to support
We’ve a duty after all!
There is one sure way, that’s to make a pledge
Give your very best, never ever hedge
If you think that you can’t
Please don’t rave and don’t rant
We’ve a duty after all!
CHORUS:....
Tune: "It’s A Small World After All
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB,
APF Song Book
top
GET YOUR PLEDGE TO US ON TIME
We’re going to canvass you some Sunday,
Our church needs each and every dime.
Spare us the stall points,
Pull out your ball points,
And get your pledge to us on time!
We’ve got to have a balanced budget,
Income and outgo gotta rhyme,
If not, we’ll rue it,
You all can do it!
Just get your pledge to us on time!
When we come calling, unlatch your door,
You’ll make us happy, just by pledging more.
Yes, we’re going to canvass you some Sunday,
Income and outgo gotta rhyme,
Spruce up your juices,
Make no excuses,
And get your pledge to us ...
Get your pledge to us ...
For Pete’s sake get your pledge to us on time!
Tune: Get Me To The Church On Time
Words: by Bill Donovan, General Assembly ‘92, Calgary
AB, APF Song Book
top
BUDGET TIME
Budget time, and the livin’ ain’t easy;
Costs are jumpin’, and inflation is high.
Oh, your church ain’t rich,
And there’s things that need fixin’;
And every committee wants a piece of the pie.
One of these mornings,
We’ll have more outgo than income,
And we’ll watch our bills,
As they climb to the sky;
So keep that morning’
Off our calendar this year,
When canvassers call, and ask to stop by.
Tunes: Summertime
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92 APF Song Book
top
INDIAN LOVE CALL
Female: Will your pledge renew-oooo-ooo?
Male: I’ll contribute too-ooo-ooo.
That means I offer to help
The UU church in town
Female: If you refuse me I will be blue,
And wearing quite a frown.
Male: So if when you hear
My loose change jingling near,
And I hear your "thank you" so loudly and clear,
Both: Then church will be our reason to cheer
For we’ll pay our bills for another year!
Tunes: Indian Love Call
Words: by Peter Laning, General Assembly ‘92 APF Song Book
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NIGHT AND DAY
Night and day, we need your pledge
Only you, each one of you can give us the edge
Whether minuscule or big
It matters, people, how deep you dig — it really does
Night and day
Day and night, why is it so?
Seems like each time you turn ‘round we’re asking for dough
In the festive holidays
In the quiet, hazy, summer laze
We call on you, night and day
Night and day we need your pledge amount
There’s an oh, such a hungry yearning here in our bank account
And our torment won’t be through
‘til we have a healthy pledge of big bucks from you
Day and night, night and day
Tune: Night and Day
Words:Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the
APF Continental Committee at GA ‘93, Charlotte NC
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LET’S DO IT, LET’S MAKE A PLEDGE
(substitute your own local place names)
I know that gals do it, guys do it
Out in Wykoff all the wise do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
You’ll get a thrill through it, will do it
In Ho-Ho- they Kus but still do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledgeRidgewooders
should, and they could do it
Singles husbands and wives
Glen Rockers flock to it
It’s our annual drive
In Ramsey, see to it, we do it
Each and ev’ry fam’ly will agree to
it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledgeIn
Franklin Lakes do it, take to it
Let’s be frank and let our bank do it
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
Waldwicker’s sure give their all to it
While in Fairlawn they’re fair
In Wayne, even malls do it
Give the UU’s a shareSo
be a high liver, big giver
Even folks from low or Upper Saddle River
Let’s do it, let’s make a pledge
Tune: Let’s Do It
Words: Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5,
1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU"
performed by the APF Con Com at GA ‘93 Charlotte
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HELP US EXPAND!
Before we get started with the Canvass Campaign
There are some things we should explain
Your Canvass Caller is a volunteer
And raising funds is not her real career
So if a kindly demeanor you’ll maintain
We’ve got an awful lot to gain
And would you like to help us expand
Give the Canvass a helping hand
Share the future that we’ve all planned
Or would you rather be a duck?
A duck keeps avoiding all his canvasser’s calls
He makes excuses and he stalls
"I’m much too busy" is his lame refrain
He gives he canvasser a royal pain
So if escape is your way to save a buck
You may be acting like a duck.
Or would you like to help us expand
Give the Canvass a helping hand
Maybe donate a couple of grand
Then maybe you can be a deer
A deer knows her canvasser is giving his time
To make the job tough would be a crime
The deer invites him like a welcome friend
And makes a generous pledge at the end
So if you’d like our new building to appear
Support the Canvass like a deer
And all the animals in the zoo
Wish that they could contribute too
But friends you know it’s all up to you
You know our future could be grand
If you’ll just help us to expand!
Tune: "Swinging on a Star"; September 30, 1995
Words: Bob Nash, The Unitarian Society of Ridgewood NJ, used by
permission.
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WE GOTTA HAVE CASH!
A, B, C & D enter STAGE LEFT
A: What I like about this church is that it’s got it all!
B: I know what you mean. It sure meets all my needs.
C: I’ll say. As far as I’m concerned this church doesn’t need a
thing.
D: Well that’s not totally right ... we are lacking in one area
...
A, B & C: What are you talking about? Whatta you mean? Etc.
D: What we really need is cash
A, B & C: Yeah, we gotta have cash!
A: A new service, we don’t need
B: A new Rev’rend, we don’t need
C: A new choir, we don’t need
ALL: Whadda we need?
ALL: We gotta have cash
Piles and piles and piles of cash
See your canvasser and fill out your card
‘Cause we need your hard cold cash.
We gotta have dough
We’ve got miles and miles to go
Gotta follow through with our fiscal plan
To take in more than we owe.
C: Each and ev'ry contribution
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
D: Helps to keep the church afloat
(ALL): Oh, oh oh
B: Pledging big is the solution
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
A: We don't want to miss the boat
ALL: We're on the brink and we might si-nk...
ALL: We gotta have cash
Line the aisles with piles of cash
All together we'll get back in the swim
So, come on, dive in - and with a splash
"Cause we gotta have cash
C: If you want to was poetic
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
D: You will find where'er you roam
(ALL): Roam, roam, roam
B: That in matters a-rith-me'-tic
(ALL): Hm, hm, hm
A: Churches live by bread alone
ALL: And that ain't funny, we mean money...
ALL: We gotta have cash
Line the aisles with piles of cash
We can make it if we all buckle down
We're bound to rebound - and with panache
C: Just like our numbers keep increasing
B: Expenses have grown
D: We gotta prove that charity begins at home
ALL: Put some heart in it!
We need cash
We need cash
We need cash!
Tune: "Heart" from "Damn Yankees"
Used by permission from Carol Agate
Words: copyright 1989 Edward Simon Eckert and Madelaine Devereaux
Eckert
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EVERYONE WHO HAS SOME
CASH IS HERE
Everyone who has some cash is here
We will even take your plastic here
Pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters
Dollars, tens and twenties, yes we’ll take them all
You can choose from many, many levels
Of giving here today
There is helping and supporting and of course,
Sustaining levels you can pay
We love giving; Caring, sharing, music, sermons
They all need our loving giving,
*Quartet:
Any second now, they will come around
Look, their pencil’s sharp and
They are writing figures down,
It has begun ...
When you share the wealth with others,
You’ll ensure this place will be right here
For the world to see our glow
And want to come to know how wonderful we are.
Tune: "Ascot Gavotte Processional"
Words: Submitted by Judy Pickett for the G.A. ‘92, Calgary, APF
Song Book
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WHEN THEY BEGIN THE CAMPAIGN
When they begin the campaign
It starts with a night of festival splendor
It starts with a night of music so tender
Oh, when the begin, begin the campaign.
We’re with you once more, in Anderson Hall
And inside the door, dear Winnie is playing
A chorus of clowns is singing and swaying
When the begin the campaign.
Oh yes, let them begin the campaign, let us pay
Let the fellowship fun and faith remain above you
Give, Jack, Anita, and Art a reason to love you
And we suddenly know
What heaven we’re in
When they begin
The campaign
When they begin the campaign.
Tune: When They Begin the Beguine
Words:Unitarian Universalist Society of Ridgewood NJ, April 5, 1991
as part of "I Get A Kick From UU" performed by the APF
Con Com at GA ‘93 Charlotte NC
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WOULDN’T IT BE LOVERLY?
All we want is our church right here
Filled with folks who are full of cheer
With funds so we won’t fear
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly
Lots of coffee for us to drink
Lots of programs to make us think
Some cash to fix the sink
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly
Oh, so loverly giving to support the fellowship
We’ll give freely so the board
Won’t have to use a whip
We will give till we feel real good
Doing more than we thought we could
It seems like what we should
Oh, Wouldn’t it be loverly,
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly.
Tunes: Wouldn’t It Be Loverly?
Words: General Assembly ‘92, Calgary AB, APF Song Book
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