The Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer

5019 Our Whole Lives Lecture and Celebration

Speakers: Jesse Jaeger, Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer, Judith Frediani

Sponsor: UUA Staff

Prepared for UUA.org by: Dwight A. Ernest, Reporter; Lisa Presley, Editor

Betty Holcomb of the General Assembly Planning Committee began the program by explaining GA Planning Committee sponsorship of workshops, and then introduced the Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer of the Lifespan Faith Development Department at the UUA. Hoertdoerfer explained that the original speaker, Robie Harris, was unable to attend. She introduced Shelby Knox, who told her story as chronicled in the film, The Education of Shelby Knox . The film had been shown at GA the night before, following its television debut on PBS June 21st as part of the POV series.

As the PBS synopsis says, "A self-described 'good Southern Baptist girl,' [then] 15-year-old Shelby Knox of Lubbock, TX, pledged abstinence until marriage. But she became an unlikely advocate for comprehensive sex ed when she found that Lubbock, where high schools teach abstinence as the only safe sex, has some of the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs in the state." How she responded to this makes for a fascinating and engaging story of courage in the face of strong institutional resistance, and endurance in the face of discouragement.

Shortly after Knox, along with several other high school students, formed a Youth Commission in Lubbock . One of their first acts was to unanimously call for improved sex education classes. The city responded by suggesting that they lobby for less controversial improvements, but the Youths persisted. During their struggle, "we realized we hadn't thought of the needs of LBGT students; we were all upper middle class, white, heterosexual kids." They quickly corrected this.

Due to their violation of the abstinence-only curriculum, the high school's Gay-Straight Alliance lost a lawsuit when it attempted to fight for its right to hold meetings. They thus gained the distinction of likely being the only location in the nation where such groups have been ruled illegal. Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, KS) responded by demonstrating at the conservative Southern Baptist church attended by Knox and her parents. But Phelps' hateful protest served only to unite some of the church members behind Knox's cause, who then organized a counter-demonstration.

Knox spoke out passionately against the "pride that so many have in their own intolerance." She decried the $206 million in proposed federal funding to be spent next year promoting abstinence-only education. This, said Knox, has been proven to be counter-productive . She also found it "interesting" that the Heritage Foundation released a widely criticized report on the effectiveness of abstinence-only education in the same week as her film was released. Knox said that Texas is the largest recipient of this funding.

"My parents – and many parents – think that because they got effective sex education when they were adolescents, that we are getting it, too, and that's just not true." She lauded PBS for airing her film in the face of threats to its funding in Congress, but points out that WEDA, the PBS outlet in the Maryland/DC area, chose not to air her film. Knox asked local viewers to lobby the station to get it aired.

Knox was asked by Hoertdoerfer how her faith had changed as a result of this struggle. "I've realized that part of the reason for the abstinence pledge is to scare women about their own sexuality. Kids are given very little choice about it: especially for young women, if they don't take the pledge it's assumed they're sluts, acting promiscuously. I'm often asked if I've had sex yet, and though the answer is 'No,' it's not because of the pledge, but because I haven't found the right person to share that part of myself with yet. I no longer identify as Southern Baptist. I am scared away from churches." She said, "Many people tell me I should look into being a UU," to laughter and some applause.

Knox then took questions from the audience. One person lauded her strength and asked about her parents. "My parents are staunch Republicans and Southern Baptists, but the fact that I now identify as a liberal hasn't come between us. I have always felt supported and loved regardless of my beliefs. I love my parents and feel very loved by them."

Another audience member lauded Knox's strength in the face of the personalized attacks on her sexuality, and asked whether she had any pointers for members of nontraditional families, like the polyamorous family she is part of. Knox suggested that she might benefit from contacting Susan Kaplan, who directed Three of Hearts, a Postmodern Family to discuss possible strategies.

The audience Q&A was followed by a talk by The Rev. Judith Frediani, Director of the Our Whole Lives (OWL) Program for the UUA. Frediani recognized the many, many people who had contributed to making the program a success by having them stand from their place in the audience.

This was followed by a celebration, including sheet cake and punch, of OWL's Fifth Anniversary. During the celebration, The Education of Shelby Knox on DVD was bought by interested audience members.

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