 |
 |
Stephanie Cho and
Meggie Dennis |
 |
| Rev. Kristen Harper (conferring with Rev. Leslie Takahashi-Morris) and Rev. Meg Riley |
2067 Transracial Adoptions, Interracial Families: Changing Faces, Changing Hearts
Moderator: The Rev. Leslie Takahashi-Morris, Co-minister of Thomas Jefferson Memorial Church  of Charlottesville, VA
Prepared for UUA.org by: Kok Heong McNaughton, Reporter; Margy Levine Young, Editor
This program is one of 22 that the GA Planning Committee chose to sponsor at General Assembly 2005, jointly with the Diverse and Revolutionary Unitarian Universalist Multicultural Ministries (DRUUMM) and the Asian/Pacific Islander Caucus (A/PIC).
The panelists were:
- Stephanie Cho, a Korean adoptee, an activist, and co-founder of Transracial Abductees , an organization that works to educate transracial adoptees and communities of color, and expose the unequal power between the white adoption industry and children-of-color adoptees.
- Meggie Dennis, a Korean adoptee UU young adult
- The Rev. Kristen Harper, a multi-racial UU minister who was adopted by white UU parents and currently serves the 279-member Unitarian Church of Barnstable, MA
- The Rev. Meg Riley, a UU minister who adopted a child from China . Riley was invited to be on the panel to substitute for Beth Hall, co-author of the book Inside Transracial Adoption . Hall was unable to participate due to a death in the family.
Janice Marie Johnson, president of DRUUMM, and Manish Mishra, president of A/PIC, welcomed participants and thanked those who worked to create this program. Mishra reminded participants that one of the foci of General Assembly 2005 is a celebration of families in all their diverse forms and changing nature. He pointed out that there are more racial and ethnic diversity in our religious education classes across the country than is reflected in our pews. This workshop is an opportunity for us to hear some of their stories.
The Rev. Leslie Takahashi-Morris, recently settled co-minister of Thomas Jefferson Memorial Church of Charlottesville, Va., introduced the panelists and led the more than 100 attendees in a moment of silence to honor Hall's loss. Harper taught and led a rousing Swahili song with energetic foot-stomping and arm-waving before everyone settled down to the next hour of emotionally-intense sharing of heart-wrenching stories, engaging in extremely difficult conversations (both as listeners and as speakers) around the complex issues of transracial adoption, institutionalized and internalized racism/oppression, and overt/covert imperialism, white privilege, the loss of culture, the search for identity, and other painful issues. There wasn't a dry eye in the room as panelists and workshop participants on both sides of the adoption system related their experiences.
More than adopted children by same-race families, transracial adoptees struggle with the additional loss of cultural identity that their adopted parents, however well-meaning, cannot fill. Many white parents bring up their adopted children of color as if they were white, but when these children go out into the wider world, reality hits. White parents cannot confer their white privileges to their adopted children of color. When asked if they thought transracial adoption is ever appropriate, most of the transracial adoptees, speaking from their personal experiences, do not think so. Harper cautioned that the parents be themselves emotionally healthy and prepared, and to choose to live in a multi-racial/cultural neighborhood where their children grow up with a supportive community. Riley is thankful for the openness with which she can communicate daily with her adopted daughter. She cannot control her child's suffering but can make sure that her child does not suffer alone by holding that pain with her.
When one white parent asked about how to help a women whose now 29-year old adopted Korean daughter is going through a crisis of identity and is seeking professional counseling, Riley suggested that counseling is appropriate not just for the daughter, but for the parents as well.
Our beloved UU community is home to many who are otherwise homeless. This workshop and the conversation it has started will begin to change the minds, the hearts and the understanding of all who have been touched by it. This work is critical for UUs as we live out our principles and purposes as a religious community. The conversation is not new. It has been going on now for several years amongst UUs of color.
The moment of silence following the intensity of the stories offered everyone a time for personal reflection as Eric Mohn, a UU youth of color from First Congregational Unitarian Church of Harvard, MA, read his closing statement:
"We are the ones that truly know ourselves.
We cannot be defined by the limitations, barriers, and boxes people entrap
us in but fly though them with pride, bliss, and unity.
Sometimes the scariest thing in the world is to be an individual.
Your persona and your inner being must unite with love in order to create
an interconnected web with the heart, soul, and mind.
At the end of the day we must face ourselves.
We are the freedom we desire.
The truth is within you, and life is a journey in finding this enlightenment.
Day to day, live with integrity and humility, and always remember love
has no barriers."
|
