Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association Ministry Days

0003 Sewing Your Parachute Before You Need It

Presenters: Susan Suchocki Brown and Danita Noland

Prepared for UUA.org by: Bill Lewis, Reporter; Jone Johnson Lewis, Editor

Unitarian Universalist Trauma Response Ministry

Unitarian Universalist Trauma Response Ministry (UUTRM) began in the aftermath of the attacks of September 11th when it was recognized that the UUA needed a body to help facilitate response to such disasters and traumas in congregations, and in the community at large.

In this workshop, Susan Suchocki Brown, President of UUTRM, and Danita Noland, Board Member, helped ministers understand how it is they can respond to crises and disasters, and how to know when the ministers themselves need to reach out to others.

A crisis, Suchocki Brown said, is a person's acute response to an event where their normal way of operating is disrupted, and when they are experiencing a significant degree of distress or functional impairment. A disaster is a sudden mishap, great ruinous event, distressing calamity, or overwhelming event or events that test the way an individual or community responds. When in crisis, after a disaster, people lose their ability to cope, and find even the most ordinary tasks difficult. Trauma is the overarching term that includes both crises and disasters. Suchocki Brown pointed out that crises are individually determined events-what is overwhelming for one person may not be for another, based on their life experience and familiarity with the situation.

The five foundations of pastoral crisis intervention were covered. The first is effective communication, and this differs in every situation. Second, ministers must recognize the mechanisms in play during the event, especially with regard to who is victim and helper-although ministers (and others) come in the role of the helper, they are also affected by the event by hearing about it or seeing the event. Third is to remember that pastoral response in an event may well be a "valued added" effect-it is a job that is outside of the structural response to events. Fourth, there is a job to be done-the job of ministers and other pastoral responders is to be with the person as they face the situation. And lastly, ministers must be the ones to look at the theological and spiritual issues and questions embedded in the event.

Danita Noland reminded people that it is hard to separate out the pastoral, psychological and theological questions that happen in response to disasters and crises. When theological questions come up, the worst thing you can do, Noland said, is to give them the answers to the questions, rather than walking with them as they search for answers.

The "big questions" that arise are these, Noland said:

• What is the nature of "god," holiness? Is god punishing, personal, discerning, angry, loving, etc.
• What is the nature of humanity? Are we good, evil, ambivalent, awful?
• What is redemption, and how do we save ourselves? What does it mean to save and redeem those who perpetrate the violence or crisis?
• What is the relationship between the self and "god" ? Self and humanity?
• What is the nature of forgiveness, of ourselves, and others?
• To whom (or what) am I responsible?

These questions don't come up in the immediacy of the event or crisis, but often arise in the aftermath as people move out of immediate coping to understanding.

Noland reminded us that the nature of grief is subjective, and that the timeline differs for every person. She also asked the larger question: what does it take to shock us into mindful compassion with others, rather than being centered in our own spiritual narcissism.

Suchocki Brown reviewed the types of group processes that can help people cope, such as defusings and debriefings, and referred people interested in training to the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation .

The presenters then talked about how caregivers can know when they are in trouble, and reminded them not to go alone. Signs may be: being irritable, being depressed by things that usually aren't a problem, feeling angry, not eating, eating too much, intrusive dreams, not sleeping. There are three types of helpers/helping that are not healthy: super-helpers who must be everything to everyone; the empty pot who must always help when asked even though they feel empty themselves; and the "you first" helper who believes that their needs are not as important, and who get their needs met by helping others.

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