2028 Family Values Law and Marriage in the 21st Century
Identity-Based Ministries, UUA
Speakers: the Rev. Keith Kron, Hillary Goodridge, the Rev. Amy Tucker,
Art Brewer, the Rev. Josh Pawelek, the Rev. Fred Small, Marshal
Miller
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What will marriage law change as the 21st century unfolds? Panelists
explored the possibilities with stories of activism and commitment.
The Rev. Keith Kron, director of the UUA
Office of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Concerns,
introduced each of the six speakers.
The Rev. Amy Tucker spoke of the work in Vermont by UU ministers
and lay people in laying the groundwork for the Vermont
Civil Union Law 
which went into effect in 2000. After three couples sued the state
for the right to marry their same-sex partners, the Vermont Supreme
Court found that the constitution supported their claim, and ordered
legislation to support their right. Civil unions in Vermont grant
all of the state’s rights to civil union partners that married
couples gain by marriage. More than 100 ministers supported the
law on the basis of their faith stance – not in spite of it
– including Unitarian Universalist, Episcopal, Methodist and
United Church of Christ clergy.
Hillary Goodridge, who is the Director of the UU Funding Program
at the UUA, then spoke of her experiences leading to and as a lead
plaintiff in the Massachusetts court case currently being decided
in the Massachusetts Supreme Court, with a decision expected perhaps
within the next month. She told of the year in her early 20s, which
she called her “bridesmaid year,” when she had to ask
herself why she was not entitled to the same privileges as her friends
– and how she dealt with her feelings by trying to catch every
bridal bouquet tossed at those weddings.
 More
seriously, she recalled that it is often only in times of “death,
disability or disaster” that people realize the many rights
and privileges automatically conferred with a marriage license. She
described the efforts of herself and her partner to go through gaining
some of those rights, documented in a stack of papers several inches
thick, still not equaling those conferred with the single sheet of
a marriage certificate. After an attempt to obtain a marriage license
was denied to Goodridge and her partner, they filed a lawsuit in April
of 2001. At the first hearing, the judge ruled against their claim,
issuing an opinion that assumed that marriage is about procreation
– though different-sex couples can be married well past the
age when procreation is likely.
Third to speak was Art Brewer, from Ontario, a former board member
of continental Interweave. As a volunteer, he works with the Canadian
Unitarian Council on the Welcoming Congregation program. He held
up the headlines in the Toronto Star and Canada’s Globe and
Mail announcing the Canadian court decision accepting the legality
of same sex marriages. He talked of the efforts of Egale
in Canada ,
and read from that organization’s FAQ (frequently asked questions)
to answer common questions such as the legality of such marriages
in other provinces than Ontario, and whether states in the U.S.
would recognize same-sex marriages performed legally in Ontario.
**The Rev. Josh Pawelek of Norwich, Connecticut, spoke of his experiences
as a clergy organizer for a Connecticut advocacy group, Love Makes
a Family Coalition. He has worked to gain the support of individual
clergy members for this coalition which is taking a legislative,
rather than judicial, approach to acceptance of same-sex unions
on an equal basis to marriage. So far, they’ve achieved some
victories: domestic partner benefits for state employees and the
ability of same-sex partners to adopt a child. They’ve also
introduced both a civil union bill and a marriage bill that would
extend all 588 Connecticut rights of married couples to any two
consenting adults who choose to be married. Expected support for
a recent bill dissolved, but the coalition intends to mount a door-to-door
promotion campaign and try again for either of those legislative
solutions.
The Rev. Fred Small, of First Church Unitarian in Littleton, Massachusetts,
told of his own stance: he will no longer sign marriage licenses
until same-sex marriages are legal in the state. While he was not
the first UU minister to take such a stance, he was the first to
put out a press release to that effect. He made clear that he continues
to perform religious weddings and unions, but will not sign the
state-issued license, thus becoming an agent of the state and a
participant in injustice. When he announced his decision in church
one Sunday, he received a standing ovation. Heterosexual allies
of same-sex couples can make an enormous difference with stances
such as this one, he concluded.
Marshal Miller described his work with the Alternatives to Marriage
project. Co-author of the book Unmarried to Each Other,
he does not oppose marriage (same or different sex) but promotes
a diversity of approaches to relationships. The organization,
with about 5,000 members, maintains a website and advocates for
rights for unmarried couples. He noted several trends which will
influence 21st century law on marriage:
- the reality that marriage rates are declining
- the marketplace mentality with different effects, including
reducing marriage to a commodity and making it good business to
provide benefits to "domestic partners”
- the rhetoric of morality is being replaced by the rhetoric
of social science, often with hidden agendas that influence “scientific”
conclusions, and
- the diversity of family trends that couldn’t be spoken
of 50 years ago and at the same time the right-wing backlash and
similar thinking in the current administration in Washington,
DC. Miller recommended his organization’s brochure, “Let
Them Eat Wedding Rings,” as a counter to current political
proposals to use poverty funds to promote marriage.
After the session ended, many participants asked individual questions
of the panelists.
Reported for the web by Jone Johnson Lewis; Web Design by
Julie Albanese
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