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President's Colloquium on Victims/Survivors of Ministerial Misconduct Administration, UUA |
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President's Colloquium on Victims/Survivors of Ministerial Misconduct Administration, UUA |
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"Let me say this as simply and unequivocally as I know how: the Association has largely failed the people most hurt by sexual misconduct, the victims and survivors. Other denominations have done better. These brave and bruised people have, more often than not I suspect, been left lonely, confused, afraid, angry and betrayed. Un-ministered to.... I am profoundly sorry. And I pledge that this gap, this failure, will be remedied."
These eloquent words, spoken by UUA Executive Vice President Kay Montgomery at Plenary IV of last year's GA, formed the backdrop of the President's Colloquium. Much progress has been made in the intervening year, and Montgomery assembled a panel of four deeply involved in this demanding work to discuss the progress. They represented those willing to tackle an almost unspeakable problem afflicting all faiths and denominations, doing some of the most difficult social justice work of all - delving into the Association's shadow and confronting the grievous damage done by the clergy misconduct happening in our midst.
Montgomery opened the session by giving "the shortest possible history of this struggle" - beginning not at the start of ministerial misconduct itself, but when the Association had no choice but to take it seriously. That was 12 years ago, when Task Force I was formed around a couple of egregious examples. Later a second task force was formed to figure out a congregational response. To quote Montgomery: the UUA, the Board of Trustees, and the Ministerial Fellowship Committee "have been stalwart, struggling as best they can to figure out what good looks like." She then moved to 1995, when the "Toward Safe Congregations and Right Relations" resolution was passed, the 1998 formation of the Safe Congregations Panel, and last year's apology to victims and survivors quoted above. Most recently, a Task Force on Ethics and Congregational Life was formed to resolve some tensions between the MFC and the Board of Review and to figure structural ways to deal with complainants.
The Early Years of the Struggle
Montgomery introduced the Rev. Elinor Artman as a strong voice for many years moving the association along on this issue. According to Artman, "This issue chose me about ten years ago as I was going on to the UUA Board." That was the year there was a women's conference before GA, which included an open mike, where survivors talked about what had happened to them. The issue carried into GA the next day. The UU Women's Federation (UUWF ) and UUA Women and Religion Committee issued a Call to Action. Artman was asked to convene a meeting, and in the fall of 1991 representatives from the MFC, the Board of Review, the Collegium, the UUWF, staff and others gathered to share how they were responding and to see where the gaps were. This group became Task Force I, and continues to meet three times a year. Then the UUA Board of Trustees appointed a Task Force on Congregational Response to Clergy Sexual Misconduct (Task Force II). More recently there has been a Second Circle Gathering, focusing on the needs of bystanders.
According to Artman, her greatest learning is that while we have tended to use conflict management models to help congregations heal, in fact a trauma model is what is needed. She said we need an educated climate of prevention in congregations, where congregations know whom to call when faced with possible clergy misconduct, rather than trying to ignore it or fix it themselves. Her main concern is congregations. When misconduct happens, conflict arises, numbers dwindle, the congregation loses money and the ministry loses credibility.
District Executives Responding to Clergy Misconduct
Next Montgomery introduced the Rev. Bob Hill, who is District Executive of the Southwestern Unitarian Universalist Conference (SWUUC) and has been involved in a number of misconduct cases.
Rev. Hill said that when he came into the ministry over 30 years ago, he had the idea that ministers were laypeople with special training - and it has taken him a long time to change that understanding. His job is to pay attention to the congregation, and in some instances the minister too. He said that virtually everything he knows about this subject could be expressed as a cliché, which bothers him. It's such a complication and layered issue.
At the heart of it is trust. When a minister acts out sexually, trust is broken in so many different ways. People who know all of the facts can't tell all of them. And in all situations, some people consider the minister a saint. Broken trust shows with questions such as: Was it his fault or was he victimized? Are people out to get him? Did he lie? What about us? Can we trust ourselves? In particular, Hill said, the Search Committee that chose the minister needs attention.
Hill characterized it as "a nest of snakes." The first responsibility is to rebuild trust. This takes time. Roger Comstock, also a District Executive, added that sometimes the behavior of a congregation seems odd, and while sexual misconduct has not been mentioned, if you look back, you can often find it, from as far back as 30 years before.
The Safe Congregations Panel
Montgomery then introduced the Rev. Fred Muir of Annapolis, who chaired the Safe Congregations Panel and will be speaking at Saturday's Plenary on their Restorative Justice Report.
Rev. Muir talked about the first days of his career. On the second day of his first GA, a senior minister asked to borrow his hotel room to have an affair with a woman in his congregation. Muir was terrified - wondering, "Do I report this? Will there be recriminations?" Fortunately, nothing happened, but the experience shook him to his core. Since then, he has studied, worked on and taught about this issue.
In 1998 the Rev. Pat Hoertdoerfer of the UUA asked if he would chair what would become the Safe Congregations Panel. Their mission was to recommend to the Association a response and ministry to victims/survivors of clergy sexual misconduct. Members of the panel included ministers, a UUA staff member, psychologists, lawyers, a survivor, lay leaders, after-pastors, and a spouse of a misconducting minister.
To simplify their broad-ranging and complex findings, he broke them down as follows:Muir concluded by saying one of the questions he is asked most often is if this is still a problem. In response, he quoted the current issue of the UUMA News (Margaret Corletti, page 9), which he just received:
- The easiest decision. The number one recommendation of the panel was that we need an advocacy program, with one person to oversee it and others to walk with victim/survivors.
- The most discussed issue. The model of restorative justice, as opposed to retributive, justice "called us back meeting after meeting after meeting." Muir characterized retributive justice as based on a rewards and punishment, while our faith is based on a relational model.
- The most challenging issue. How many circles (victims, congregations, family, community?) should the Panel focus on? It was a very hard decision, but ultimately they stayed with their original mission and focused on victim/survivors. Part of this decision was recognizing that if the UUA follows the recommendations, the circle will naturally expand.
At the March meeting of the Ministerial Fellowship Committee, we found ourselves once more dealing with cases of ministerial misconduct. This was a puzzling situation for us, for over the past six years that I have been on the committee, I know the emphasis that education about misconduct has received.... As part of this education and awareness, we as a committee know that in our culture, our congregations, and our ministry, there will always be people who will challenge the system and seriously believe they can "do things their way." Add to this the reality that our culture has changed its expectations of congregations and ministers, and all of us experience trouble....Task Force on Ethics and Congregational Life
Let the word go out: The rules have changed. Download them, review them, and know what they are. This supports and strengthens all of us as ministers, our ministry and the work that we do.
The next speaker was Millie Mullarky, an MFC representative to the Task Force on Ethics and Congregational Life. This Task Force was more about structure. They looked at how the system is flawed and how to make the process healthier and less opaque. In particular she noted that the MFC is a small group that has been "doing it all" - which didn't serve ministers well and didn't serve victim/survivors at all.
Mullarky discussed the pilot advocacy group under Montgomery. The Task Force preferred the word "liaison," since it doesn't suggest fighting. They envisioned an office to do triage - sorting the different types of complaints and filtering those in need of attention on to the MFC.
In a very touching moment, Mullarky witnessed to the anguish suffered by complainants, characterizing their plights as "heartbreaking." She talked about how victim/survivors can't be integrated without the support of their church, and the need to hold ourselves in love and accountability.
The Advocacy Program
Artman spoke a second time, this time in her role as an advocate. She began by quoting a complainant:Right now I feel really betrayed by the church and the UUA. All along I was asked to keep quiet and let the system work - let the church work through the process at its own pace. All along it was understood by me that it was just a matter of time before the truth came out and everyone in the church and the surrounding community would have the information they would need to be protected. Now the response I get from the church and the UUA is, "We did our job. We followed procedure. We covered our asses. Thank you very much. Now we need to move on."Artman said that an advocate must know what the system is about. In her first experience, when she was called in as an advocate midway though a case, the complainant had to withdraw because it became far too hard. As a result of this experience, she recommends bringing an advocate in as soon as possible.
Her second case was more successful. They stayed in touch all along, and Artman listened to this woman grow. The outcome was very good. Artman assured the audience that this can be done.
The colloquium concluded with a brief question and answer period. In answer to a question about maintaining the momentum of this good work, Montgomery said that as long as she was around, this work will not be let go of. To quote her words of last year;
"Inspired by the Panel's report, we will change and learn and in this untended area, we will bend toward justice. 'There is only us.'"Reported for the Web by Anna Belle Leiserson
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