Presented by Debra Haffner, former president of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S. SIECUS, now a candidate for UU ministry

At the "Religious Declaration on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing," website you may read the full text of this important declaration and request copies for distribution. Religious leaders may also endorse the statement at the website. Has your minister endorsed the declaration? Go to the site and find out.

The declaration is based on the paradigm: sexuality is not about actions, it is about the quality of relationships and love. So why did the press pick up a single issue: the blessing of same-sex unions?

What are the next steps? Debra Haffner dhaffner@wesleyan.edu is seeking ideas, and opportunities for her to visit.

To stimulate dialog, she presented a list of what we should expect in sexually healthy faith communities and in sexually competent clergy. As she read the list she asked for a show of hands to indicate the health of our own communities; in many cases, only one or two hands were raised.

We ended with a responsive reading with alternating responses: "we rejoice" and "we suffer". The fervent heartfelt responses indicated the audience resonated with both the rejoicing and the suffering.

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Sexually Healthy Faith Communities

• Affirm sexuality as a sacred part of life
• Assure that people interact with both genders in respectful and appropriate ways
• Treat each person with dignity and self-worth
• Welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people as full participating members
• Support and affirm all people
• Value families as the primary sexuality educators of their children
• Value youth
• Offer pastoral counseling and support to those whose sexuality has been broken
• Offer support groups on wide range of sexuality issues
• Have clergy and religious educators trained in sexuality issues
• Offer age-appropriate sexuality education throughout the lifespan
• Clearly articulate and post sexual harassment policies - clergy and congregants, adults and youth, and youth interactions
• Work for sexual justice through social action committees
• Actively support sexuality education in the public schools
• Actively support community agencies working on sexual health and sexual justice
• Periodically address sexuality issues in worship and liturgy
• Post information about community referral sources on sexuality issues
• Include sexuality issues in congregation library

Adapted from Haffner, Debra. "A Time to Speak" NY: SIECUS, 1998.

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Sexually Competent Clergy

• Are knowledgeable about human sexuality, including behaviors, sexual response, sexual and gender orientation, relationships
• Have examined their own personal sexual history
• Explore their own sexual attitudes and confront their limitations and biases
• Are trained in marriage and family counseling
• Reflect theologically on sexual issues
• Are knowledgeable about denomination policies on sexuality, as well as familiar with sacred texts and traditional teachings on sexuality issues
• Recognize personal limitations
• Are knowledgeable about community resources for referrals
• Appreciate and respect appropriate boundaries
• Use power justly and recognize potential for abuse of power
• Know how to recognize and deal with sexual feelings for congregants, including understanding transference/counter transference
• Model ease and comfort in discussing sexual issues
• Understand the dynamics of racism, sexism, heterosexism, homophobia
• Use effective educational techniques, addressing knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors
• Identify ethical dilemmas
• Address individual and group resistances to sexuality issues, including having conflict management and mediation skills
• Are skilled in community advocacy

Debra Haffner, February 2000

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Responsive Reading

Sexuality is God's life giving and life fulfilling gift.

We rejoice.

Too often, the sacred gift of our sexuality is abused or exploited.

We suffer.

Sexuality is central to our humanity and integral to our spirituality.

We rejoice.

Too many experience pain, brokenness, and oppression about sexuality.

We suffer.

Our faith traditions celebrate the goodness of creation, including our bodies.

We rejoice.

Too many believe that their faith negates their bodies and their sexual feelings.

We suffer.

Sexual lives that express love, justice, mutuality, commitment, consent, and pleasure.

We rejoice.

Sexual lives that express only power, control, and violence.

We suffer.

Sexual rights for all.

We rejoice.

Sexism, age-ism, racism, homophobia and heterosexism.

We suffer.

Full inclusion of women and sexual minorities in congregational life.

We rejoice.

Exclusion of those who are different.

We suffer.

Reproductive rights for all.

We rejoice.

Unplanned pregnancies, HIV, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted children.

We suffer.

Sexuality education in congregations, seminaries, and schools.

We rejoice.

Ignorance, or even worse, silence about sexuality issues.

We suffer.

We rejoice-God rejoices- the universe rejoices-when we celebrate our sexuality with holiness and integrity.

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Reported by Mike McNaughton; formatted for the web by Kasey Melski.