Theme and Description Discussion of the Unitarian Universalist principles and implications of the principles in interacting with children.

Goals and Objectives

• to explore the meaning of the Unitarian Universalist Principles.
• to discuss the role of parents in children's religious development.
• to experience materials and methods used in Unitarian Universalist religious education.

Age Group Unitarian Universalist Principles and Parenting is written as an adult program, with a focus on parents but to include anyone interacting with children preschool through high school. Children may participate in selected activities on a planned basis.

Size of Group 6-16, with the ideal size of about 10-12.

Space Requirements Find a comfortable space, with or without tables. Room is needed for some small group activities and for flip chart. If children are invited to participate in any part of the activities, additional space must be planned.

Number and Length of Sessions The program is basically designed for seven sessions of two hours each. However, the program could be done:

• by selective use of material in four sessions, covering at least Sessions 1, 4, 6 and 7; or
• in several longer sessions, such as a day-long program, covering several sessions; or
• with multiple sessions for a specific topic.

The first session provides the background for looking at religious issues in general and the Unitarian Universalist Principles specifically. The subsequent sessions focus on the specific principles. The principles concerning "justice, equity and compassion in human relations" and "the goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all" are considered together in one session.

After using Session I, the group itself, or the facilitators, can select the order in which the sessions occur. Each participant should know when the respective sessions are scheduled and be encouraged to contribute thoughts and experiences for inclusion in the session.

The sessions are divided into two parts. The first part explores the meaning of the principle, primarily from an adult perspective. The second part focuses on applying the principle to interactions with children. (See Session Format below)

The group size, individuals in the group, and particular group or church needs will influence the time spent in respective areas. There may be more material in the lesson plans than can be accomplished in two hours. Therefore, leaders may need to prioritize activities and readjust at the break time.

If child care is being planned near where the sessions are being held, children may be invited to participate in selected parts. Interactions with children may add a richness to the program, but should not interfere with the ability of the adults to fully participate: the main focus of the program is for adults.

Leader Training/Preparation The curriculum can be lead by one or two facilitators, or an overall facilitator with involvement of group participants in co-leading sessions. The advantages to having more than one facilitator include:

• different perspectives, and variation in leadership and modeling;
• opportunity for the facilitators to share responsibilities;
• giving facilitators team support in looking at the issues raised by the principles in preparation for the sessions.

Special training is not required, but facilitators and session leaders need to become familiar with the material and to make choices of activities. They may want to introduce additional material, such as openings and closings, that illustrate the principle that is being addressed.

Major Strengths Includes material from religious education programs so that adults can experience some of the methods and materials used with children.

Major Weaknesses/Challenges There may be more material in the session plans than can be used within a two-hour period. This means that the facilitators and the group will need to prioritize activities used.

Adaptability Adaptable in number of sessions, order of topics and arrangement of sessions. See "Number and Length of Sessions" below.

Unitarian Universalist Values This is the primary focus of the curriculum. The sessions focus on specific affirmations and draw material from various sources. The curriculum gives an overview of the principles, not an exhaustive discussion.

SESSION FORMAT

Affirmation: The official wording of the affirmation portion of the Principles and Purposes, as found in the Bylaws of the Unitarian Universalist Association is given, followed by a children's version. These are also included on the Journal Page for each session.

Objectives: The objectives for the specific lesson are included on the Journal Page for each session.

Materials Needed: There are standard items which are used for several sessions, such as flip charts, masking tape, plain paper, and index cards. However, for convenience, these are listed on each lesson plan. The specific handouts are with the respective sessions.

Focusing: Designed to "center" the participants and to introduce the topic, focusing generally includes lighting the chalice, sharing from the participants, reviewing the objectives for the session, and telling a children's story.

Stories are included. However, there are numerous children's stories, both traditional folk stories and current publications, which can be used. Telling stories is preferred. If stories are to be read, be familiar enough with the story to read it with expression. Envision presenting the story to a specific child (or children may be present for the stories).

Exploring for Ourselves: In order to consciously model our religion, we need to consider the meaning of the principles. This constitutes about half of the session.

Break: A 10-minute break is suggested, between the focus on adults understanding and interacting with children. The break also gives the facilitators an opportunity to review where they are in the plan and make adjustments in activities as needed.

Exploring with Children: This section focuses on the perspective of a child and how the topic is presented to children. It is possible to include children in some of these activities, on a planned basis. Such activities are noted in the session plan.

Closing: This summarizes the thoughts from the session through a closing activity and extinguishing the chalice.

Journal Page This page is available for each session except Session 1, and includes the Affirmation (official version, children's version, and space for the participant to write a version), objectives, an opportunity to note readings, songs, stories, thoughts/ideas, and interactions with children. The Journal Page can be given to participants:

1. prior to a session as a way of preparing for the session
2. at the session itself
3. to take home after a session to prepare feedback for the opening of the next session.

References: The Principles have many facets and varying interpretations and implications. There is a great deal of material as background for discussion. Participants should be encouraged to contribute readings and other resources to the consideration of the Principle. The major resources used are given at the end of each session plan.

Unitarian Universalist Principles and Parenting should be used in a manner that suits the respective congregation. A curriculum is a starting point for exploration and creativity. If people are thinking about their religion and living its Principles through their own modeling for children and/or other adults, regardless of the specific details of the format, the curriculum will have been a success!

BASIC REFERENCES

Unitarian Universalism in the Home. 1982. Ellen Johnson-Fay, Robena Nelson, Elizabeth B. Stevens. UUA.

Parents as Resident Theologians. 1984, 1990. Roberta and Christopher Nelson, UUA.

What Unitarian Universalists Believe: Living Principles for a Living Faith: Living the Interdependent Web: An Adult Series on Unitarian Universalist Principles. 1987. Tom Owen-TowIe. UUA.

Living Faith Resources for Study and Worship. 1987. F.Forester Church, et al. UUA.

Unitarian Universalist Alphabet, Second Printing 1990. Helen Zidowecki, Unitarian Universalist Community Church, Augusta, Maine.

We Believe: Learning and Living Our Unitarian Universalist Principles. 1990. Church of the Larger Fellowship, UUA.

Being a Unitarian Universalist Parent. 1991. Makanah Elizabeth Morriss and David Hicks MacPherson, UUA.

Parents as Social Justice Educators. 1993. Roberta and Christopher Nelson, UUA.

Religious Education in the Home. 1994. Betsy Hill Williams, Church of the Larger Fellowship.

Activities were also derived from various Religious Education Renaissance Modules, which are intensive continuing education programs on various aspects of religious education. Some activities have been used on different occasions and the original source has been lost. Similar to the Unitarian Universalist Principles themselves, the source of our learning is varied and endless. Life experiences of participants form a rich source for the curriculum and make every session different.

PARENTS ARE THE REAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATORS!!!!!!!

Children participate in a Religious Education Program for a short time once a week;
parents see them at all times of day and night.
Children are greeted when they come to church;
parents get them there, and show the importance of attending by coming themselves.
Children are given information and experiences to help them to explore spiritual issues;
parents are frequently the ones present when the "religious" questions are asked, such as "Do dogs go to heaven?" or "I don't believe that God is a man or a woman. Do you?"

Unitarian Universalists are concerned about supporting parents as they try to address the religious needs of children. Historically, curricula had sections in the leader guides that were designed to involve parents, or there were specific pamphlets addressed to parents. Am I A Good Church School Parent? was written by Lucile H. Lindberg and Dorothy T. Spoerl in the 1950's to address how parents work within the church, with teachers, with other parents, with their own families, and with their own children. About the same time, Dorothy Spoerl also noted:

Perhaps the greatest service the church could do for parents is to help them become articulate about religion. For so many of us religion is something that we think about, wonder about, and very seldom put into exact words. So, when the child comes home with endless questions, we are at a loss to know how they should be answered. We stumble, we hesitate, we postpone, and the child senses that perhaps religion is something that we don't want to talk about. He begins to feel that it is something different from other areas of thought, where parents are so sure and so positive. We must learn to be positive about our uncertainty.

Few experiences could be more valuable to a group of liberal parents than to sit down together and talk with one another about religious ideas, talk until the expression of those ideas comes clearly and easily, talk until they are fully aware of the wide diversity of faith, the wide variety of explanation, existing among us.

The clarity of our own religious faith, expressed in little remarks, in ordinary conversation, in the simple ideas that are constantly heard, these are things that will make us teachers of religion. The actions we perform toward our neighbors, the sympathy with which we accept their differences from us, the compassion that we express when we hear of suffering and wrong, these are the things that will build our children's positive values. And these we can only develop as we become more conscious of just what it is that we do believe, what are the things we truly hold dear, what are the values that are at the heart of living.

--Ourselves and Our Children's Faith, date unknown

Unitarian Universalist Principles and Parenting is based on the following assumptions:

1. The Unitarian Universalist principles provide a framework for living and a basis for the program, with a focus on understanding the principles in order to teach and model them for children. While the target audience is parents, the curriculum should be open to anyone who is interested in interacting with children, birth through high school.
2. Being a Unitarian Universalist makes a difference in how we "parent." Children who have participated in a Unitarian Universalist religious education program have remarked that they have been expected to think for themselves, with support, without parents answering for them.
3. Parents, whom we expect to be partners with the religious education program, may be relatively new to Unitarian Universalism. They maybe unfamiliar with what and how their children are learning. Therefore, religious education activities are included in this curriculum.

• to explore the meaning of the Unitarian Universalist Principles.
• to discuss the role of parents in children's religious development.
• to experience materials and methods used in Unitarian Universalist religious education

When we consider justice and fairness and liberty, how do we discuss complex issues like war and peace, or human rights with children? Can we - or should we - give our opinions? In exploring with children, we may actually formulate or clarify our opinions. This means continuous examining of our own thoughts.

How do we help children grow spiritually? How can we help children understand concepts of God and prayer? How can we help them develop through the "faith stages" which accompany physical and social development? What happens if they believe something different than we do?

In modeling Unitarian Universalist values, consider these questions:

• Do interactions with children model reverence and respect for life, and support and enhance their self-esteem?
• Do children hear or see you modeling your values?
• When your actions are not in harmony with your beliefs and values, are you willing to admit that to yourself and children?

There is no guarantee that our children will be lifelong Unitarian Universalists, but there is a guarantee that, if we are aware of being living role models for our children, that our religion will be challenging, changing, and visible.

There are various resources that are available to families. Among these are:

• Unitarian Universalist Family Network, with Family Clearinghouse Resource Packets that are sent to congregations and is on the Unitarian Universalist Association Web site, www.uua.org/families/
• REACH packet of Religious Education materials.
• Various conferences on district and continental levels.

SESSION 1: RELIGION AND THE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST PRINCIPLES

AFFIRMATIONS: All of the Affirmations of the Principles and Purposes

OBJECTIVES

• To introduce members of the group to each other and to the program.
• To begin understanding how we share religious practices and beliefs with our children.
• To introduce the Unitarian Universalist Principles as a contemporary guide for daily living.

MATERIALS NEEDED

• Flip chart, markers, masking tape
• Folder for each participant
• Paper, pencils
• Name tag materials--stickers, pens
• Paper strips for bumper stickers
• Chalice, matches

• Handout for Session 1
• UU Living Tradition Sources and Affirmations (copy of that section of the curriculum) UU Parents Are the Real Religious EducatorsPrinciples by Age Groups (resource for all sessions)

FOCUSING
Ask participants to make and decorate name tags using stickers or pictures or designs.

For introductions, invite each person to complete the thoughts (Put on flip chart.):

• "I AM..(name)........
• "I HAVE/WORK WITH CHILDREN.(ages, situations)........
• "IF I COULD BRING SOMETHING HERE THAT I REALLY TREASURE, IT WOULD BE (no limitations on resources or practicality).....

Opening: Distribute a folder and the Handout to each participant. Use "When We Live . . ." as a responsive reading between the leaders and participants, or between two parts of the group.

Introduction of the program:

• Review the schedule, course location, special needs or arrangements.
• Invite participants to give a question or thought that they would like to have addressed. Record these on a flip chart and discuss these as appropriate throughout the course. Add to these questions and comments as they arise in other sessions.
• Using the Handout, review the Program Objectives, Overview of Content, Format, Journal Page, Guidelines.
• Distribute the "Unitarian Universalist Principles by Age Groups" as a reference for all sessions.

EXPLORING FOR OURSELVES
To live or model our religion consciously, we need to consider the meaning of religion in our lives. Use at least one of these activities.

1. Breaking the Religious Language Barrier: This activity shows change in our perception and expression of religion over the years. The language of our religious heritage that may be different from what we now practice or choose, even if we had no formal church affiliation. This language may
   • no longer be used to describe our religious beliefs;
   • be used but with different meanings;
   • be used to communicate with someone who uses these words.
   Have each person divide a paper into two columns: "Religious words of my youth" and "Religious words I use now." List words in the respective columns, then
   • Cross out words that no longer fit your religious identity
   • Underline the remaining words which appear on both lists. Do they have the same meaning now as in your youth?
   Share discoveries in doing the exercise.

2. Our Religious Heritage: This guided meditation focuses on parts of our religious past that were positive, so that we can build positive religious experiences with our children. Read reflectively, pausing for a few seconds between the points:
   • Find a comfortable position. Think of a religious experience from your childhood that was comfortable, felt good. It does not have to be in a church setting.
   • Feel the good feeling that you had then. Think of where this happened--in a church building, by a campfire, in a youth group.
   • Feel the surroundings - the sights, smells, light and dark, temperature, sounds.
   • Who were you with - friends, family, someone special? Feel their presence.
   • Think of a word or phrase to describe the experience.
   • Stay in the experience for a few moments, savoring its memory. When you are ready to return to the group, gradually become aware of the sounds and temperature in the place where we are meeting now. Open your eyes to show us that you are back from the journey."
   • Invite people to share what was special and positive about the experience.

   Notes: Some people may express difficulty in recalling a positive religious experience from childhood. Some may want to explore this heritage more, and the adult curriculum. Owning Your Religious Past: The Haunting Church, is a reference.

3. Who Is Religious? The focus of this activity is on identifying the characteristics of a religious person, independent of formally designated religious leaders.
   • Ask participants to think of a person whom they consider to be religious.
   • Brainstorm, or have each person list characteristics on a piece of paper and compile the listing on the flip chart, one item at a time from each person.
   • After compiling the listing of characteristics, ask people to identify at least three from the composite list that they feel relate to them.

EXPLORING WITH CHILDREN
How do we define religion with children? How do we develop the language of religious dialogue?

The Language of Religion: Focus of the activity is to use simple words and phrases in discussing religion with children. (15 minutes)

• Divide into groups of three-four people each. Ask each group to make a bumper sticker to define "religion," using a few words which are understandable to children. Use action words.
• The bumper stickers can be read in the closing as reflections.

The Unitarian Universalist Principles: Living Traditions and Affirmations: Distribute and briefly review "The Unitarian Universalist Principles and Purposes: Living Tradition Sources and Affirmations" the first part of this curriculum. Read the Affirmations of the Principles and Purposes, adult and children's versions, with part of the group reading each section. Are there questions or comments about these? Distribute "Parents Are the Real Religious Educators."

Planning for Next Sessions: Determine the order in which the affirmations will be presented, including the combining of "Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations" and "The goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all" into one session. Indicate the affirmations by the dates of the respective sessions.

Suggest that participants look for examples of stories, readings, songs to illustrate the affirmation that is being discussed the next week. Distribute the Journal Page for the upcoming session.

CLOSING CIRCLE
Invite participants to share the bumper stickers (from Language of Religion section).

"Now that we have defined religion, let's consider the Flaming Chalice, a symbol of Unitarian Universalism. You are invited to take turns lighting the chalice at the beginning of sessions, and to bring thoughts or readings to share."

Light the chalice as the history is read.

"The Flaming Chalice" by Rev. Margaret Gooding

Nicolette and Jean-Pierre were cold and hungry. When their mother had heard that the soldiers were coming, she and Grandmere Lucie had bundled up food, clothing, and blankets and the four of them had set off with other people who were escaping from the town. They were refugees, people with no home, looking for a place to live until the war was over.

Now, after a week, the food was gone. It had started to rain, and the road was turning to mud. Everyone felt miserable and scared. As it grew dark, they moved into the woods to find a place to sleep under the branches of the trees.

Suddenly, they heard a truck rumbling down the road. Nicolette, Jean-Pierre, Mama, and Grandmere peeked out between the branches, afraid the truck might be full of soldiers. But when the truck stopped, and Mama saw the flame and circle painted on the sides, she said, "Come quickly, I have heard of these people. They will help us."

The people in the trucks were members of the Unitarian Service Committee. They distributed bread, cheese and hot soup to everyone. They drove the refugees to a town faraway, to a building whose door had the same sign of the flame and the circle on it.

Inside the building it was warm. There was food, cots to sleep on, and good blankets. It was crowded with refugees, but no one seemed to mind. The Unitarian Service Committee people were friendly and kind. Nicolette, JeanPierre, Mama, and Grandmere Lucie stayed for four weeks. They then went to live with Grandmere's brother in a safer place.

When the war was over, Nicolette and Jean-Pierre's father came home from the army. Reunited, the family returned to their village and rebuilt their house. Long afterward, they often thought about the truck and the building with the sign of the flame and the circle.

"As we close our first session, we carry with us the warmth of religious experiences of our childhood, the realization that we are all religious people, and that we are developing religious heritage with our children. The chalice, which we extinguish now, will be lit for each session as we explore our Principles in our lives and for our children."

REFERENCES FOR THIS SESSION
Rev. Margaret Gooding. "The Flaming Chalice," Around the Church, Around the Year by Jan Evans-Tiller, UUA (1990), pp.ll4-115.

Betsy Williams, Religious Education at Home. Church of the Larger Fellowship, (1994).

HANDOUT SESSION 1

"When We Live . . . We Learn" (adapted from "Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy Law Nolte)

When we live with criticism,	WE LEARN TO CONDEMN
When we live with hostility,	WE LEARN TO FIGHT.
When we live with shame,	WE LEARN TO FEEL GUILTY
When we live with tolerance,	WE LEARN TO BE PATIENT.
When we live with encouragement,	WE LEARN CONFIDENCE.
When we live with praise,	WE LEARN TO APPRECIATE
When we live with fairness,	WE LEARN JUSTICE.
When we live with security,	WE LEARN TO HAVE FAITH.
When we live with approval,	WE LEARN TO LIKE OURSELVES.
When we live with acceptance and friendship,	WE LEARN TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD

PROGRAM OBJECTIVES

• To explore the meaning of the Unitarian Universalists Principles.
• To discuss the role of adults in children's religious development.
• To experience methods and materials used in Unitarian Universalist religious education programs.

OVERVIEW OF CONTENT.
The assumptions behind this course are:

• Unitarian Universalist Principles provide a framework for living, but we must understand them in order to teach them to our children.
• Being a Unitarian Universalist makes a difference in how we interact with children.
• Parents are partners with the religious education program and need to be aware of the content and experiences in that program.

The FORMAT of the sessions include:
Focusing: This includes lighting the chalice (except in Session 1), sharing from participants, reviewing the objectives for the session, and telling a children's story.
Exploring for Ourselves: Participants, as adults, consider the meaning of the affirmations. This constitutes about half of the session.
Break: A 10-minute break is suggested.
Exploring with Children: This section focuses on what and how the topic is presented to children.
It is possible to include children in some of these activities, on a planned basis.
Closing: This summarizes the thoughts from the session through a closing activity and extinguishing the chalice.

GUIDELINES.
We pause to develop guidelines for this group as we meet, such as:

• When we brainstorm, our words are recorded on the flip chart without being edited, all thoughts are used, and we do not comment on each other's thoughts.
• We listen and encourage input from everyone with no "put downs." However, listening respectfully does not assume agreement.
• We provide an opportunity to participate, but allow the right to pass on a question or activity.
• We maintain confidentiality, which is understanding that information shared in the group is shared beyond only with the permission of the original person. Other guidelines from the group: