Should the family support the church and be congregation-centered, or should the congregation support the family and be family-centered? This book argues that to reach the needs of the Boomers, Generation X, and their families a shift needs to take place from a congregation-centered family to a family-centered congregation. This paradigm shift calls leaders to facilitate ministry with families, not to them. In the process the congregation comes closer to accomplishing its mission and developing strong faith-filled families.

This book will challenge your thinking about ministry and family ministry! Ministers, religious educators, youth advisors, and congregational leaders are all invited to read this book. Then consider gathering together as religious professionals, governing board, and appropriate lay leaders and committees in your congregation or the professional and lay ministry teams with parents and families to discuss the implications of this book. Using the following reflection/discussion questions your group can reflect on their own family ministry and ministry with families.

The Family-Friendly Church possible participant groups:

• minister, religious educator, and Board of Trustees members
• religious educator with RE families
• parents with RE leaders and youth advisors of youth programs
• RE Committees and Youth Adult Committees

Description
Author Ben Freudenburg chronicles his personal discovery in Family-Friendly Church. As a religious educator his ministry to children and families followed the traditional patterns and practices. But his sabbatical experiences led him to an understanding that the needs of his own family and his congregation's families were to empower and train parents to be sources of their children's faith and practices of faith. He became convinced that we must shift from a congregation-centered, home-supported ministry model to a home-centered, congregation-supported ministry model. His working philosophy motivated him to develop goals and strategies for passing on the faith from generation to generation. His philosophy is: Parents are the primary religious educators in the congregation, and the family is the institution for faith-building in children and youth and for passing the faith from one generation to the next generation.

The core of the book focuses on six imperatives for a family-friendly church. These imperatives are defined in chapters: (1) from program-focused to need-responsive, (2) proper staffing, (3) supporting home-centered staff, (4) training faith-shaping parents, (5) a homey church environment, and (6) it takes a village to raise a child. The next section of the book centers on ways to shift the church's paradigm from vision and mission work to programming and staffing implications. The appendices include activities for home and church family ministry, home faith-development ideas, and a reading list.

About the authors:
Ben Freudenburg is a Luthern Christian educator and youth minister. His other books include Family-Friendly Ideas Your Church Can Do and Through Children's Eyes: 52 Worship Talks for Children. He and his wife Jennifer live in Colorado with their two daughters. Rick Lawrence is the editor of this book and colleague in family ministry with the author. He and his wife live in Colorado where he works with Group Publishing.

Discussion/Reflection Questions:

1. In the first section the author talks about "trouble at home and trouble at church." They researched family relationships and resources to help congregations minister to families. What were the four questions that they asked every congregation he visited? What conclusions can you draw about the families in your congregation from this research?
2. In the next section Freudenburg discusses maintaining a balance in life between home-centered and congregation-centered work and time. In your ministry how do you balance your own family needs with your service to families in your congregation?
3. If you agree with the authors that we must be willing to spend a quantity of time in a quality way if we're to nurture faith in our children and pass on our values, what plans do you have in the coming weeks to be with your family? How do you encourage the families in your congregation to spend quantity and quality time with their families at home?
4. Where did you learn the couple skills, parenting skills, and spiritual foundations for your family life? Does your congregation offer you and your family resources to practice these skills and nurture these foundations? What resources are the most helpful?
5. Using the resources in the appendices, how would you encourage your family (and the families in your congregation) to develop a family mission statement? What would you include in your family covenant? What opportunities are available for families in your congregation to craft their own family mission and covenant statements?
6. One of the six imperatives for a family-friendly church according to Freudenburg is to move from program-focused to need-responsive. What are some ways pastoral ministry is provided for families and practiced in your congregation? In what ways are you being a more active listener and a more present caregiver to the families in your congregation?
7. If your congregation is really serious about empowering families to nurture and develop their faith, what resources do you provide families? What ministerial resources are available to families at home?
8. Congregations need to be ready to train and support parents and the home to be the primary nurturers of their children's faith contends Freudenburg. Do you agree with the author's assertion? Why?
9. The author states that if the church wants to help families, it must be a warm, comfortable place that welcomes families and empowers them to build strong homes. What are some of the ways you (in your congregational roles and responsibilities) could make your church or meeting house a homier environment?
10. Freudenburg suggests the church become a change agent advocating Christian values and influence as it partners with families, schools, and the community. Does your congregation play an active role in advocating Unitarian Universalist values and UU family values in your community? Describe two ways your congregation and its leadership are involved in shaping the values in your community.
11. Using the resource (appendix 4) "Developing a Vision for a Family-Centered Church" articulate your vision for your congregation for 2005. How has your congregation's vision changed? How have faith development programs changed? How have professional leadership positions in your congregation changed?
12. Using the format provided on pages 115-127 describe your congregation's worship service under the old paradigm's guiding principles. What changes when you describe your congregation's worship service with the new home-centered paradigm's guiding principles? If you apply the new home-centered paradigm's guiding principles to your religious education program, what programs and resources would you need to create and develop?
13. What home faith development ideas, activities, events, and resources were kindled in you as you read the challenges and changes needed for family-friendly congregations in this book? What paradigm shifts will you advocate for in your congregation to make it more family-friendly?
14. What did you learn about yourself from this book? What did you learn about your congregation from this book?
15. What are your next steps in family ministry with your own family at home? What are your next steps in family ministry with your congregation?