Small Group Ministry and Relational Religious Education

by Rev. Helen Zidowecki
Northeast District Religious Education Consultant

In educational programs, we give tools for the spiritual journey, such as information, traditions, and spiritual practices. However, it is in expressing and sharing spiritual journeys that we integrate these learnings. Small Group Ministry connects people in a ministry that enhances spiritual journeys and church connections. This is a key to Relational Religious Education throughout a lifetime!

If a sense of community is essential for adults in a congregation, and if we hope that our children will be active Unitarian Universalists, then participation in Small Group Ministry will be an essential part of “raising up” our children. Small Group Ministry has the potential to transform the educational ministry of the church. Indeed, the result would be relational religious education for all ages.

Small Group Ministry is being widely discussed within Unitarian Universalist congregations. However, applying the concept to children in our congregations and to the educational ministry of the church is ‘work in progress.’ To understand that “work,” the first section of this paper?a review of Small Group Ministry?provides the background on which this description of Relational Religious Education is based. This presentation advocates for Small Group Ministry in general, with specific application to children and the educational ministry of the church.

SMALL GROUP MINISTRY IN THE CONTEXT OF THE CHURCH COMMUNITY

There may be ‘small groups’ within congregations now. What makes a small group a ‘ministry group’? How is a "Small Group Ministry" different from a small congregation and how it functions?
The answer lies in the name itself.

• “Small” means a group with a maximum of 8 to 10 people, so that even small congregations could probably have more than one group. Groups of this size provide an opportunity to relate on a more intentional level.
• “Group” is a gathering of individuals, sometimes selected at random, sometimes selected for a specific interest or characteristic. The focus that separates these groups from others in the congregation is “ministry.”
• “Ministry” is the process or act of caring for another, so that the focus of the group is the well-being of each member in the group. Set in the congregational context, “ministry” is related to the spiritual as well as the physical and emotional well-being of members.

In small congregations, everyone may know the “demographics” of other participants: births/deaths/ages, marriages/divorces/relationships, children, employment. However, even in a small congregation, there may not be a specific time for dialogue about spiritual issues and spiritual journeys.

COMPONENTS

Four important components of ministry within a congregation that interact in a Small Group Ministry:

1. Community worship or celebration. Small Group Ministry augments and strengthens shared celebration.

2. Community connections and caring. Small groups provide opportunity for connection and intimacy that is a basis for caring.

3. Personal spiritual growth. Small Group Ministry encourages spiritual journeys and pondering the mystery of life.

4. Service. Small Group Ministry provides a way to live out the meaning of the caring and spiritual journeys beyond the immediate group itself.

Celebration, worship • Connection or small-group ministry • Personal spiritual growth
• Service

Community connections and caring take the celebration to a personal level. This is where Small Group Ministry comes into the picture. Studies have shown that if people who come to worship services fail to make several personal connections within a short period of time, they will not continue to come. Likewise, deeper and more personal connections, beyond just nodding or greeting, are made in groups of not more than 10 people. What occurs is a ministry to each member and an opportunity to go deeper in exploring spiritual issues. The concept of ministry in community is serving, caring about. The community caring can result in a service to the church community and to the larger community.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS

What makes a small group a ministry group? There may be various groups within the congregation that are “small.” Committees, discussion groups, and women’s or men’s groups might fit that category. The defining characteristic is that the focus of the group is on ministry. The defining “logistical” characteristics of ministry groups are:

1. Size is preferably at least four or five and no more than eight to ten people, including facilitators. Participants are placed in groups by the minister or a coordinator to match the needs of the individual and the group, in consultation with the facilitators. Facilitators may suggest people for their groups, but they do this with the coordinator. When the size of the group increases beyond eight, coordinators should consider starting a new group.

2. Frequency of meetings is at least once a month, and preferably at least twice a month, in a quiet, private, comfortable setting. Meetings usually last for 1.5 to 2 hours.

3. Format includes worshipful or centering readings, personal check-in periods at the start, and time to reflect on how the topic relates to our own life and spiritual growth. (See the recommended format below.)

4. Facilitators are selected and trained by the minister, or designated coordinator. Facilitators are chosen for their interpersonal skills and commitment to the program. The trainer or another designated person, often called a “coach,” facilitates a Group for Facilitators that meets at least monthly, so the training is ongoing and shared. (See “Facilitators and Support Structures.”)

5. Empty Chair symbolizes those who have not yet joined the group or who are absent for some reason. This visually presents the concept of outreach, and that the group needs to remain open to changes.

6. A Covenant is a sacred promise that defines how the group participants will talk, work, and be together. A covenant is a set of promises. A covenant is reviewed at least annually and when there are difficulties with members not fulfilling the promises. This allows the group as a whole and the members individually to reconsider and to reaffirm the covenant. There are some implied expectations related to participation, starting and ending on time, and confidentiality.

7. Connection with the church community is explicit, as ministry groups are developed under the sponsorship of the congregation. Not all participants are members of the congregation. Participants who have been active in the congregation for a number of years find that the group gives additional importance to the place of the church in their lives.

8. Support system for the development and maintenance of the program is key to the continuance of the groups. The support system includes orientation and support for facilitators as well as an established way for people to become part of a group.

9. Service to the congregation or larger community helps keep the small group from becoming self-absorbed and disconnected and is part of a growing spiritual life. The service activities can include ongoing elements of church life as well as projects in the larger community.

SESSION FORMAT

The simple format provides a structure. The format helps new participants, to see what happens overall. The format helps participants who have been meeting for awhile keep the focus on the group as a whole and defer side conversations to another time. The format allows each participant to be as much a part of the group as he or she is comfortable.

A chalice lighting and opening words gathers people, and sets the time for being together as special. The opening may be:
· Generic, focused on calling the group together or,
· Specific, related to the topic of the meeting

Check-in/Sharing allows everyone an opportunity to speak without interruption. (It may be helpful to set a time for this, such as five minutes, with the option of extending the time if needed and if agreed by the group.)
· Sharing accomplishments or concerns
· Sharing highlights in your life since the last session
Passing on sharing is acceptable. If someone has passed, he or she may wish to speak after others have shared.

Topic/Dialogue provides thoughts or reflective questions to help the group have a dialogue about the topic. The focus is on dialogue:
· Participants talk about the topic as it relates to them, without being disputed.
· Participants share from their own experience.
· Participants can learn from the stories and sharing of others.
With the exception of divisive issues within the church, the group can use a topic that is consistent with UU Purposes and Principles and the mission of the sponsoring congregation.

Closing words.
· Generic words
· Closing for the topic

Likes/Wishes. A quick notation is made of what people liked about the meeting and what they wish it could have been. This is also a time for clarifying the plans for the next session.

Session topics may be developed by the minister, by a group with a designated person to coordinate format and consistency, or may rise from the group itself. The critical part of developing the session plans is the manner in which the questions are asked.
· To elicit or impart information is an educational approach.
· To engage individuals from their spiritual base and feelings is ministry.
Both are vital, both are needed, both need to be identified as they are used. Some standard questions for Small Group Ministry might be:

What stories around this topic do I have to share with the group?
What can I hear from the stories of others?
How does this topic relate to me spiritually and why?
What am I bringing from my past experiences to discussion of this topic?
How does my perspective of the topic influence my living and my actions?

FACILITATORS AND SUPPORT STRUCTURE

The person who volunteers to be the facilitator of a group does not need to be a “content expert.” The facilitator models good process and listening skills and helps the group adhere to the group covenant, including starting and ending the meetings on time. Facilitators can be an active part of the group, remembering that their primary function is to facilitate.

It is vital that facilitators not “lead” too much. They are present to help keep things on track. They may have to move discussions along, but it is the members who “own” the group and have the primary responsibility for its success or failure.

One of the strongest parts of the concept is the support that is available to the facilitators.

• Facilitators meet together regularly with a designated person, such as the minister, who functions as a “coach.” The focus is to strengthen the process, to give ideas for sessions, and to share successes and issues.
• Facilitators’ meetings are held at specified times and can follow the pattern of the small-group meetings, including personal check-in, a content theme (e.g., the groups’ status), a closing with an inspirational reading, and likes and wishes.
• This support follows a pyramid pattern. Just as there are up to eight to ten people in a group including the facilitator(s), up to nine facilitators meet with a coach, who would be the tenth person in the group. Then a second group of facilitators is established with another coach. The coaches then meet with another coach, and the process continues at that level. In this manner, there is support at all levels.

In implementing Small Group Ministry, it is important to consider that:

• Not everyone in a congregation needs to be in a group; nor does everyone have to “join” at the same time.
• This is a mechanism for including people as they enter the church community in a relational manner, that is, not “being on a committee.”
• People from outside the current church community are invited to join a group.
• The small groups in this ministry are not therapy groups or educational groups; they are ministry groups.
• There is an appointed facilitator of each group who meets regularly with the minister (or a designated “coach”) and other group facilitators.
• Group members covenant with each other about being together in the group, and about how the group can serve the church and larger community.
• Plans are made for new groups once the “magic number” of eight members has been reached.
• In starting the Small-Group Program in a congregation, it is a good idea to start at least two groups, possibly representing diverse parts of the congregation. In this way, the Small Group Ministry is a congregational activity and decreases the potential for a small group to become exclusive. This also gives the facilitator(s) support.
  
  WHAT SMALL GROUP MINISTRY OFFERS CHILDREN AND YOUTH

Small Group Ministry with children

• Builds intentional community
• Allows practice of being together authentically with others, hearing and being heard
• Provides a framework for responding to the great questions of life
• Creates a space for each person to feel valued and to be of service
• Provides opportunity to work with others on justice-making within the community and the larger world
• Incorporates games and activities that complement the dialog

Gail Forsythe-Vail, Director of Religious Education, North Andover, MA

The concepts underlying Small Group Ministry can involve all ages, including children and youth, at various levels in
· the child care/activity that is provided while adult small groups meet,
· Small Group Ministry for families in their homes,
· introducing the relational concepts while retaining much of the present materials and methodology in the religious-education program, and
· using the Small Group Ministry format for religious education sessions.
In all of these areas, consideration needs to be given to the spiritual developmental stages and to the underlying principles and assumptions of education and Small Group Ministry.

The concepts of Small Group Ministry may be used with children:
· The size of the group should still be under ten people, including the adults who are with the children. The group should be as consistent in participants as possible.
· The format of the sessions includes opening, check-in, a topic, closing, likes and wishes.
· A “covenant” or “guidelines for being together” or “promise of how we will treat each other” is developed by each group.
· There is a facilitator for the sessions. Older children and youth can assist and move into this role.

There are some differences in Small Group Ministry with children and youth. One difference is the role of adults working with children and youth within the Small Group Ministry context. The usual role of the adult is as teacher and protector. The focus moves toward mentor and role model to empower children and youth as they participate. This is reflected in interactions with children:
· During check-in, children are given an opportunity to say something or to pass, without adults suggesting that they tell about something specific. This allows the child to determine what he or she wants to share, rather than sharing because a parent or other adult suggests it. If children pass, they may be ready to speak after others have shared.
· Adults may need to guide the use of the covenant, and may need to help move the session along. The change is probably in the verbiage, from “Now we are going to….” to “Let’s go on to…” Or in addressing a potential conflict, the focus may be on focusing on the topic being addressed by the group, with a suggestion that there will be time and opportunity to address the conflict outside of the group.
· The smaller group size may allow for increased attention to each participant, including the adult. The adults in the group are part of the group, and can participate as peers, without dominating or giving the impression that they have “the answers.” In fact, one of the most exciting dynamics about Small Group Ministry with children is the wisdom that they can impart to adults!

A second difference in using Small Group Ministry with children may be the need for additional activities. Depending on the ages and developmental stages of the participants, it is helpful to have paper and crayons or markers, pens or pencils, clay and some active games available for use at any session. The focus of these items in the Small Group Ministry is to assist the participants in being more present in the group and the dialog, rather than as an end in themselves.

WHILE ADULT SMALL GROUPS MEET

Consider the children while small groups meet
· Make sure the child care provider is aware of the purpose of Small Group Ministry -community.
· Stories and activities can be developed along the topic that adults are using.
· Help children and youth to see the importance of the community to their parents.

Families usually arrange care for children while the Small Groups meet. If the child care is in the same location as the adult session, there will need to be some discussion of when children are allowed to interrupt their parents. These parameters become part of the covenanting of the group with the children, so that the adult session is able to meet the intent of Small Group Ministry. This may include videos or games for children, with a designated child-care provider or older children overseeing younger children.

But consider what the small group can mean to children as their parents participate in the adult small group. The same principles that apply to the adults can be applied to children by orienting the “child-care provider” to the basic principles of the program, and providing resources to implement the session.
· A set of pages for children could be developed to parallel those for adults, with additional activities and stories. These could follow the same themes as the adult discussions.
· The focus would be personal explorations, with age-appropriate questions.
· The material would be developed for multiple ages.
· The religious education director or coordinator could be a resource for the development of sessions.

A variation of this might be to have some of the time, such as a brief check-in, with the family groups together. Considering that the sessions last for one-and-a-half to two hours, alternative activities for the children need to be considered, for at least part of the time. However, a small group might plan some sessions that were specifically intergenerational activities, including events such as a potluck meal or a hiking trip.

Another consideration is having Small Group Ministry groups that are intergenerational or family-focused. This is an opportunity and is a great way for children to learn from adults. But it also presents some challenges:
· Topics and presentation will need to be age-inclusive. With wide diversity in faith-development stages, is this possible while still honoring the needs at the various levels?
· Adults and children may miss having sharing around concerns in their own age groups.

Regardless of the arrangements made with the children during the small-group meeting, parents’ discussion of the importance of Small Group Ministry will provide a way for children to understand that connection to the church community is more than just the Sunday service.

SMALL GROUP MINISTRY IN THE FAMILY

Small Group Ministry as a family provides
· a time focused on spiritual journeys as part of life and
· a way of interacting with each other.

Various ways of including children in Small Group Ministry were discussed in terms of how children can be involved when Small Groups meet. Another possibility is using Small Group Ministry within the family setting. The concept and format can contribute to intentional family religious education and ministry to each other. After all, the parents are the primary religious educators, and the religious education still occurs primarily in the home through the modeling of spiritual practice. Small Group Ministry can provide a focused time and method for this educational process.

With the increasing focus on family ministry, this concept of Small Group Ministry in the home can be moved forward. This can occur regardless of the ages of the members of the family. And the focus on the stories and myths from our living traditions and from our own life stories make this family dialogue timeless.

The concepts of Small Group Ministry that are used with children certainly apply to the family setting. (See the beginning section on “What Small Group Ministry Offers Children and Youth”) The resources that might be helpful include the current Unitarian Universalist hymnal, Singing the Living Tradition, and short stories, from fables to contemporary.

Small Group Ministry concepts can be applied to the family setting.
Size of the group and who is included: Families would generally fall within the guidelines of small groups, with fewer than eight people.
Scheduling: The frequency will depend on the family, but scheduling should be such that every family member is included. The frequency can be decided by the family, such as once a week. The time for each session will probably range from a half hour to an hour, depending on the family composition and needs.
Topic: These could be suggested by the family members, even young children. Participants can bring a topic to a meeting, and, if more than one is suggested for a session, the remaining topic could be discussed in an extended session or become the topic for future sessions.
Format: Start with a ritual opening, such as everyone holding hands, lighting a chalice.
Check in: This allows participants to share what is happening in their lives, without commentary from others.
Opening: Use a story to start the discussion, either a story from someone’s life, or a story that is read or told.
Dialog: Focus on how the family members relate to characters or the situation of the story, rather than the details of the story.
Closing: This may include holding hands, blowing out the chalice, or a group hug.

An important benefit of the Small Group Ministry for families is the intentional time spent in being together, understanding each other and considering spiritual topics. Using the Small Group Ministry approach in the family will also prepare family members for participating in this relational approach in religious education and the larger church community. Ministry begins at home!

RELATIONAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATION FOR ALL AGES

Change the approach to religious education for all ages:
· Change the terminology.
· Prepare for a session (time together) rather than a lesson (to be taught).
· Develop a covenant rather than rules.
· Be attentive to each other.
· Adhere to group size suggestions.
· Support the facilitators.

The concepts underlying Small Group Ministry can be applied to make the educational ministry of the church more relational, even if the content of the curricula does not change. Consider these suggestions.

Changing the terminology sets the stage:
· from “class” to “group”;
· from “lesson” to “session” or “time together”;
· from “Sunday School” to “Religious Education” or “educational ministry” or “religious exploration”; and
· from “teacher” to “leader” or “facilitator” or “co-discoverer.” Leaders set the stage for the session, providing resources and structure, but are not responsible for the learning itself. Leaders also learn in the process!

Prepare for a session, or time together, rather than a “lesson,” which is something to be followed or accomplished. Keep the members of the group in mind. Are there special considerations? Special interests or perspectives? This becomes a natural part of planning and implementation.

Develop a covenant or “guidelines for being together” within each group so that the expectations are clear, are formed with input from everyone, and are in the language of the group. This practice can be a covenant, or promise about how we will act, moving from just avoiding disruption and conflict to a way of caring.

Be attentive to each other. “Be present” for each other, sensing where you are (how you are feeling, etc.) and where the group is. Take attendance, a necessary task for program planning, to celebrate and be attentive to each person present, acknowledging people who are absent, and possibly connecting with them after the session. A suggestion is to have cards available so that notes from the group (“we miss you,” or “thinking about you”) can be sent to people who are not present.

Adhere to suggestions for group size. If adults can comfortably develop meaningful bonds with no more than eight to ten people at a time, children should not be expected to relate comfortably with larger groups. This number needs to include the facilitators (leaders, teachers). When the total number of participants increases beyond eight to ten, consider creating another group rather than adding a leader to assist with the group size. While this has implications for space requirements, the comfort and calmness and learning ability of groups will increase with smaller groups. The importance of each participant to the total group is more evident in a smaller group.

Fluctuation in the attendance at religious education sessions may make it difficult to develop consistent groups. However, you should consider group consistency before you consolidate groups because the attendance is low. Consistency in attendance can be a factor in structuring groups: plan the groups so that there is a core group of children who attend consistently in each group.

One way to provide continuity of a group over a longer period is to establish groups around age ranges rather than grades, such as Kindergarten through grade two, grades three through five, grades six through eight (or that group can come under youth). This also allows for sharing of wisdom and modeling among ages, which helps to carry on our faith traditions.

Support the facilitators. The role of the facilitator is to:
· Build community in the group, making sure that each person is included, heard, and valued
· Help participants bring their own experiences to the living tradition we share
· Provide a variety of ways to “process” the message or topic
(Gail Forsythe Vail)

The facilitator can also be a participant in the dialogue.

The leaders and facilitators meet together on a regular basis, to discuss how things are going within the groups, how they are feeling about their role and how they can support each other. These meetings are with a “coach,” such as a director of religious education or minister. Support of the leaders is essential for celebrating the teaching moments, and helping with the problem solving. This can be a way of strengthening team teaching and facilitation.

The relational components or assumptions mentioned here (changing terminology, being attentive, adhering to group size, etc.) can be implemented without changing content or basic curriculum format (except for including check-in).

SMALL GROUP MINISTRY AS RELIGIOUS EDUCATION FORMAT

Small Group Ministry can be implemented for younger religious education participants at various levels.
· The relational components can be implemented, with the changes in session format to include check-in within the group. You should consider the check-in that is done as part of worship in the format of joys and sorrows as different from the check-in that is done with a smaller intentional group, which allows more time for each person to speak and makes sure that each voice is heard. You can keep the remainder of the curriculum the same.
· As children move toward the upper grades, sessions can take on more of the features of the Small Group Ministry. However, you need to pay attention to the purpose of the educational process. Is content (information) needed or can the content of the session be drawn more from the experiences of the participants, without the need to add information?
· The manner in which questions are phrased is important. Questions can be phrased to obtain information (educational focus), or they can be phrased to elicit personal insight (spiritual growth or ministry). For example, “What did the story mean?” is the didactic, while “Where did you find yourself in the story? Why? “ is more reflective or ministerial.

We are only at the beginning of exploring the possible impact of Small Group Ministry on religious education. This can change the way that we develop programming, prepare curriculum, and recruit and support both children and leaders.

Gail Forsythe-Vail, Director of Religious Education, First Parish in North Andover started using a Small Group Ministry format with grades one through eight in the church year 2001-2002. Her model weaves a number of educational principles into the Small Group Ministry concept and format. Her model has the following characteristics:
· The religious education session follows a worship service in which a wisdom story drawn from one of our living traditions is told.
· She has prepared generic ways of implementing each part of the session format that can be used by the facilitators (opening, check-in, reflecting, carrying our faith into the world, appreciation/wishes/closure). These include games and activities as well as discussion.
· Gail has emphasized the service or outreach component under “carrying our faith into the world.” This is an example of connecting the group with the larger whole. It also illustrates the shared praxis approach of educating for action. (See section on Shared Praxis)
· Each week, the facilitators are sent plans for each age group that relates to the story that is used in the worship.
· The groups include several grades (grades one to two, grades three to five, grades six to eight). Gail has found that it is easier to place a child in a group configured this way than in groups that are formed of specific grades.

The session format that is being used in North Andover is this:
Opening/Inclusion (eight minutes). Light the chalice. Use some kind of name game for the first two sessions, then again every time someone new comes into the group. If you are not using a name game, use some kind of “check-in,” such as “share something special that happened to you this week.”

Reflecting (five to fifteen minutes). This time may be shortened if there is a longer service project, or you can do this while working on a project. Be sure that each person is able to hear and to be heard (influence).

Carrying Our Faith Into the World (ten to twenty minutes). This is an important piece of EACH Sunday morning. Sometimes this time can be used to plan and do projects, sometimes to challenge one another to do something of service in the world during the week coming, sometimes to reflect upon a service project.

Appreciation/Wishes/Closure (seven minutes). You might choose to blow out the chalice after the opening for safety reasons, then relight it for the closing. Each person says something that he or she appreciated about the session, and one thing he or she wishes would happen the next time. Don’t forget to restore the space.

Another model might be to have the chalice lighting, and use the story as the opening. The use of the story, rather than a reading, engages children. Indeed, our heritage is passed on through its stories. The importance, then, is in the stories that we select. Gail selects her stories from the living traditions. In reality, the principles and purposes that we espouse arise from our traditions. Teaching from stories?stories that we tell, not read?calls on the vital work of Sophia Fahs and Dorothy Spoerl, who knew the importance of myths in imparting truths!

SMALL GROUP MINISTRY WITH YOUTH

Small Group Ministry with Youth
· There is a different pattern for youth programming, somewhere between a structured curriculum and “hanging out.”
· Small Group Ministry is used at youth conferences to provide smaller community within the larger group.

Small Group Ministry for youth has a role in junior and senior youth programming. While continuing the above notations regarding relational religious education, “learning” for youth differs from the religious education format that is used for younger children in several critical ways:
· Youth have more say in what is included in their program, so that decisions are made jointly by the youth and the adult advisors.
· Youth take a more active role in assisting with the sessions. They can take on more of the responsibility for making their time together meaningful for the participants.
· The learning comes as much from the relationships and interactions as from the content, so that how they are included becomes increasingly important.
· The focus of the sessions is on recognizing and examining their internal knowledge and understanding in a faith community setting. The “information” or “knowledge” comes more from the participants rather than the external curriculum.

Youth frequently do not want a “curriculum” per se, yet they need more than just “hang-out” time. Small Group Ministry provides a format with some structure and a great deal of latitude. Some youth groups use a “cookie jar” approach, putting topics into a jar and drawing them out at random. This approach can be developed around the format of Small Group Ministry to include ways to do check-in and to develop questions. The adult advisors would be resources and participants in the dialogue.

Structured curriculum ::Hanging out
Intent of imparting knowledge :: Social only

Small-Group Ministry With Youth
Structure serves as outline
Process-provides leadership opportunities
Ministering to each other, learning from each other

However groups are developed with youth, the groups must belong to the youth with the adults who are present being resources. While facilitation may be shared or rotated, a representative from the group can be included in meetings of facilitators with the ‘coach.’ This gives legitimacy to the youth small group and increases leadership opportunities for the youth.

The purpose of the sessions is to minister to each other as well as to provide opportunity for spiritual growth by
· paying attention/listening to each other’s needs and wants,
· acknowledging that all are “teachers” and all are “learners,” and
· encouraging each other and sharing on our spiritual journeys.

The concept of Small Group Ministry is quite applicable to youth programming. A specific time when the youth meet could be designated as Small Group Ministry, including using the format that is suggested for adult groups. This would have to be planned related to commitment to the group, and having session of 1-2 hours. This can be used every session, or periodically, like once or twice a month around other curriculum or activities.

The Small Group Ministry occurs within the broader church community. It helps youth to:
· participate in worship and in other youth programming,
· relate their learning to the spiritual journey, and
· provide service to the community.

A major consideration is the size of the group. Small-groups ministry acknowledges that we connect on a personal level better with small groups. The suggested maximum size in literature and experience in the Northeast District is eight, including the facilitators. When the number of participants exceeds this size, you need to start a new group in order to preserve the relational aspect. You should try to maintain consistent groups as much as possible.

The format of the sessions with youth is similar to the sessions for adults:

CHALICE LIGHTING/OPENING READING from a Unitarian Universalist source (the hymn book contains enough material to sustain a Covenant Group for many, many months).

OPENING CHECK-IN: Each person is asked to briefly state his or her answer to a question such as: What’s on your mind today? What do you need to leave behind for a couple of hours in order to be fully present here?

THE FOCUS/PURPOSE OF THE MEETING: With the exception of political or divisive issues within the church, whatever topic or activity the group prefers, so long as it is consistent with our Purposes and Principles and the mission of the sponsoring congregation. The focus is on dialogue, in which everyone has an opportunity to share and expects to learn from the sharing of others.

CLOSING CHECK-OUT: The facilitator asks each person for a word or phrase that says something about how she or he is feeling as the meeting draws to an end.

CLOSING READING–Again, from a standard Unitarian Universalist source.

Here are some informal ways to implement the program with youth:
· The group participants can select openings and closings from Singing Our Living Tradition and other collections of meditations and readings that are available. Put the numbers of their selections from Singing Our Living Tradition or location of readings onto pieces of paper and into envelopes, one for openings and one for closings. The readings can also be copied onto cards, if someone wants to do this. Encourage participants to also write their own openings and closings.
· Develop topics by having participants give religious questions that they would like to have answered or that would help them on their spiritual journeys.
· You can also have the youth put topics onto slips of paper, with some editing and grouping, such as putting the questions related to creation together. Put these into an envelope.
· Each session, assign a person to do the opening and the closing and to facilitate the session. People can bring in their own items, such as readings, or select at random from the envelopes.

Approaches may vary in the amount of planning or structure involved, from the informal to the more planned.

1. Parts may be read by the facilitator or shared, with different participants taking the opening, facilitating the dialogue around the topic or questions, closing, and likes and wishes. Decide ahead of time who is doing what part. Basic parts are readers for opening and closing and the facilitator.

2. Participants may bring their own readings for openings and closings or select them at random at the session. The theme of openings, closings, and topics may or may not match.

3. The facilitator may be a designated person for a period of time or may be decided meeting by meeting. The role of the facilitator is to:
· Ensure that the group begins and ends on time.
· Guides the group through the session outline.
· Makes sure that everyone has an opportunity to participate.
· Makes sure that the tone and feeling of the session is comfortable, inclusive.
· Meets regularly with the minister and/or other facilitators of small groups within the congregation. If you are rotating the facilitator, have a youth represent the group at a facilitators’ meeting.

For a more structured approach, use session plans that have been developed for the adult Small Group Ministry sessions. These would have the openings, closings, and topics included.

At Northeast District youth conferences, we are working on having our “touch groups” (small groups that meet throughout the conference) be more intentional, using some of the concepts from Small Group Ministry (group size and check-in, for example). These groups are also facilitated by youth themselves, which is leadership development. The youth have requested that the touch groups be a maximum of eight total, including facilitators, youth, and adult advisors. This has made a difference in the conference feeling of inclusivity.

Jen Harrison (now Jen Devine) describes Small Group Ministry concepts as applied to youth groups, with a focus on implementing the Unitarian Universalist principles, in “Youth Groups as a Model for Transformative Ministry,” Essex Conversations (Boston: Skinner House Books, 2001, page 107-121). In addition, the Youth Office has published Five Steps to Building Community, and this is used at conferences and other places. This is an excellent tool for understanding the interaction that can occur within small groups. The balance is in Building Community, which relies on consistency within a group, while being welcoming.

Step One: Bonding: The members begin to identify as part of the team.
· Cliques and barriers are broken down.
· A relationship of trust is established within the group.
· Problem-solving tasks and activities require members to work together.
· Cooperation is the goal.
· Each person’s input is accepted and welcomed by others.

Step Two: Opening Up: Participants can realize personal imperfections and uniqueness, knowing that the group loves them.
· Showing genuine interest in others leads to trust.
· The more sympathetically the group listens, the more the members trust each other.
· Activities allow sharing to the degree that people are comfortable with.
· Participants feel enthusiastic about deepening friendships.

Step Three: Affirming
· Members share appreciation of each other.
· Participants leave with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Step Four: Stretching: Participants realize their importance to the entire group.
· Members go beyond their normal comfort level and actively care for each other.
· As members share more of themselves, they are still cared for and affirmed.

Step Five: Deeper Sharing
· Members share deeply and set goals and visions.
· The group shares problems.
· The group helps individuals work through problems, but still holds them accountable.
· Not all sharing is appropriate for the group, especially if it makes others uncomfortable.

SAMPLE SESSIONS RELATED TO THE PRINCIPLES/AFFIRMATIONS AND TRADITIONS/SOURCES
by the Reverend Helen Zidowecki, Northeast District
Religious Education Consultant

There are numerous stories that can be used with the session on the Affirmations or Principles. Following are several resources that are used in this collection of session plans. These resources provide a combination of stories about Unitarian Universalists, legends from a variety of religious backgrounds, and contemporary stories.

A Bucketful of Dreams, Christopher Buice, Skinner House, 1994 (UUA Bookstore, #8138, $12)

From Long Ago and Many Lands, Sophia Fahs, Skinner House, 1948, 1984 (You may have a copy if you have older curricula.) 1995 edition has a Teacher’s Guide (UUA Bookstore, #8009, $20)

Unitarian Universalist Alphabet, Helen Zidowecki, 1999 ($30)

What If Nobody Forgave? Colleen McDonald, Skinner House, 1999 (UUA Bookstore, #8198, $12)

Note: Following is a description for using the ‘Principles” and two sample session plans. I am in the process of preparing some additional session plans. These will also be on the Web page: www.hzmre.com.

RELATIONAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATION: AFFIRMATIONS AND SOURCES
DESCRIPTION OF SESSION FORMAT

Each person adds a sticker to the “I AM HERE!” chart either as he or she enters the Religious Education space or after sharing. This is a chart with the names of the children and leaders and a number of weeks. The stickers are bright, cheerful, and are varied in design(not with stars!). This is a visual way of affirming attendance and of each person stating the importance of his or her presence.

Opening/Chalice Lighting (Have words in large print hung in a visible place.)
With everyone standing, have a child light the flame (light) if a chalice is used, or just have the group say in unison:

We celebrate Unitarian [make U with thumb and forefinger of left hand] Universalism [make U with thumb and forefinger of the right hand].
This is the church of the open mind. [point to head]
This is the church of the helping hands. [hands out in front, palms up]
This is the church of the loving heart. [hands together across chest]

Check-in. Allow each person time to say how things are for him or her at that moment, or to share a highlight from the last week. A person may also pass. Some groups use a talking stick or a stone to focus attention. The person who has the object is the one who is talking.
If there are people missing from the circle who are ill, it might be a time to send a card from the group. Have cards there so that the group can see what is being sent. Also, people may wish to sign a card.

Story: The story may be connected with Family Time in the service. The story can also be brought to the religious education session or may be used when children meet when adults have a Small-Group meeting.

Exploring. This is a combination of questions for dialog and some activities may be suggested. These are only a beginning, and the facilitator, the religious educator, or the child-care provider is welcome to add other ideas, which will come out of the experience of “living with” as story. This can be part of the preparation.

Closing. This marks the official end of the focus on the story. You can use a standard closing, for example, make a circle, hold hands and say in unison (have words in large print hung in a visible place),

As we leave this place and time together,
May peace be before you, may peace be behind you.
May peace be above you and inside you.
Go now in peace.

Squeeze: One person squeezes the hand of the next person, who squeezes the hand of the next person, etc., around the circle to the person who started it.

Amen and Blessed Be.


RELATIONAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATION: AFFIRMATIONS AND SOURCES

One: The inherent worth and dignity of every person
Everyone is important.

Opening/Chalice Lighting. Use the standard opening.

Check-in. Allow each person time to say how things are for him or her at that moment, or to share a highlight from the last week. A person may also pass. Some groups use a talking stick or a stone to focus attention. The person who has the object is the one who is talking.
If there are people missing from the circle who are ill, it might be a time to send a card from the group. Have cards there so that the group can see what is being sent. Also, people may wish to sign a card.

Story: Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803-1882) (from UU Alphabet)

Ralph Waldo Emerson was a Unitarian minister. Eight of his ancestors, including his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, were ministers and he was expected to be one, too. But he didn’t feel like being a minister, so he became a writer and speaker instead. He wanted people to develop their own ideas and beliefs. He wanted to spread kindness and joy. He was upset that people owned other people, called slaves.

Ralph Waldo Emerson loved children, A child could always go into the place where he was writing. He kept paper, pencils, and scissors for them–and something to eat. He liked to have fun with children and had four children of his own.

Ralph Waldo Emerson was over six feet tall. He stood very straight. He had a deep voice. He made people feel very important. When he was around, people felt good about themselves. A woman who washed clothes for people came to hear him speak. She did not really understand what he was saying, but she loved to see him standing before a group making everyone think that they were as good as he was, just by the way he talked.

Exploring:
Sitting tall. Say something like this: When we feel good about ourselves, we sit or stand straight, or erect, like Mr. Emerson. Practice sitting up straight, as if you were being pulled up to the ceiling. Breathe deeply, and let the breath go.

When we are tired or upset, our shoulders sag, and we really cannot breathe as well.
· Let shoulders sag, and slump in the chair as if feeling sad.
· Have each person think of something that he/she does well or something that makes him/her feel good. Ask each person to share, and, as they do, to sit up straight!
· When everyone is sitting up, take a deep breath as a group, and let it go.

Action. Affirming each other: Each person has a piece of paper, with his or her name on the back. Pass the papers around so that everyone in the group has a chance to put some affirming word or picture on the paper of every other person, from “ I like you,” to a smiling face. Collect the papers, and fold in half, so that the name shows, and give the papers to the respective people.

Closing. Use standard closing.

RELATIONAL RELIGIOUS EDUCATION: AFFIRMATIONS AND SOURCES

One: The inherent worth and dignity of every person
Everyone is important.

Opening/Chalice Lighting. Use the standard opening.

Check-in. Allow each person time to say how things are for him or her at that moment, or to share a highlight from the last week. A person may also pass. Some groups use a talking stick or a stone to focus attention. The person who has the object is the one who is talking.
If there are people missing from the circle who are ill, it might be a time to send a card from the group. Have cards there so that the group can see what is being sent. Also, people may wish to sign a card.

Story: Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) (from UU Alphabet)

Ralph Waldo Emerson was a Unitarian minister for number of years. One day he was planning a picnic with his children. They invited children of all ages to the picnic?meaning that they invited some adults who they knew would like to have fun. One person they invited was Henry David Thoreau?because he knew the good places to pick berries to make pies!

The day of the picnic was sunny. Everyone was finding lots of berries. Suddenly, Edward Emerson, who was about four years old, tripped and fell. The big basket that he was carrying fell, spilling his berries all over the place! He tried to pick them up, but they were dirty and squished. Edward started to cry. He was afraid that he would get into trouble. He had spilled all of his berries, so he wouldn’t get any pie! Other people tried to give him some of their berries, and tell him that they were not upset with him, but he still cried. Henry David Thoreau came over to see why Edward was crying. When he saw what had happened, he put his arm around Edward.

“Edward,” he said. “If berries are to continue to grow, some have to be scattered to start new plants.” Henry David Thoreau said that he thought that nature needed to have little children sometimes stumble and scatter the berries. “There will be a lot of berries right here someday, and we shall owe them all to you!” Henry David Thoreau said. Edward began to smile again.

Exploring. Ask: Have you ever been in trouble for something that happened, even if it was not something that you did? What happened? Who helps you when you are in trouble? How do they help you? Have you ever helped anyone when they needed help? How?

Acting. Each person thinks of someone that they can help this week, such as sending a card or calling or visiting someone who is sick or cannot get to church, helping with something at home, etc. Take a card or paper and make a ‘reminder note’ of the action that is planned.

Closing. Use standard closing.