RELIGIOUS EDUCATION AND SMALL GROUP MINISTRY:
ONE CONGREGATION’S PLAN
by Gail Forsyth-Vail, Director of Religious Education
The North Parish of North Andover, MA

It has been two months since the Religious Education Committee voted to try a brand-new model of Sunday religious education programming at the North Parish. During that time, I have spent a great deal of time thinking, reading, listening, and talking with the Reverend Lee Bluemel, with parishioners, and with my colleagues in religious education. As I have “digested” all of the information and ideas that have come my way, examining them in the light of what the RE Committee at North Parish proposes to do, it has become increasing clear to me that a broad blueprint for the RE program would be helpful to me and to the committee. It will provide us with talking points for conversations with parents and with other parishioners, and will help us not to lose sight of the bigger picture while we work on the logistics of the program. I offer you a draft of such a blueprint in this report. It is a draft, and I hope we will discuss and refine it. I owe credit to the work and writing of James Fowler (Stages of Faith, 1981); Thomas Groome (Educating for Life, 1998); Jeanne Gibbs (Tribes: A New Way of Learning and Being Together, 1995) and from three authors in Essex Conversations, 2001: Daniel Harper (Learning Types and Their Needs), the Reverend Barry Andrews (Educating for Faith), and Jen Harrison (Youth Groups as a Model for Transformative Ministry).

Religious Education Program for Children and Youth
at the North Parish of North Andover, Unitarian Universalist

Goal: Developing a sustaining faith, a total response to life, composed of both spirituality and religious identity as a Unitarian Universalist. Unitarian Universalist faith is spirituality, a depth of personal religious feeling and active commitment, shaped by the heritage of wisdom preserved in our Unitarian Universalist community and heritage and conveyed by elders and spiritual mentors.

There are four “tasks” for learners on this path to faith.

First Task: Learn How Unitarian Universalists “Do” Religion

Who? Children four to eight years old. Families and children new to Unitarian Universalism.

Faith Stage: Faith by imitation

Content: Introduction to Unitarian Universalism and its Practices,
Name, Chalice Symbol, Caring Community, Worship Practices, Hymnal, Covenant

How? Four-to-six-year-olds, in two separate groups, learn about Unitarian Universalism and the chalice. They experience caring community and begin to learn some worship practices. Six-to-eight-year-olds learn about worship practices and the hymnal by attending Children’s Worship. They experience caring community and our covenant by participating in small-group sessions following worship.

Milestones/Rituals
Ceremony to give a chalice to each family, noting that religious education is primarily the responsibility of the family, supported by the community. Ceremony to take place at the end of the first year in the program.

Ceremony to give a hymnal to each of the children at the close of the fourth year in the program (at the end of second grade). This puts some of the wisdom and spiritual practice of Unitarian Universalism in the hands of each child and family.

Second Task: Learn the Stories, Practices, and Lore of the Faith Community

Who? Children eight to twelve years old. Families new to Unitarian Universalism

Faith Stage Joining Stage

Content:

1. Unitarian Universalist heritage
· From Universalism: God is love, everyone included; build the Kingdom of God on earth.
· From Unitarianism: freedom of belief, use of reason, tolerance of difference.
· We are carriers of the heretic’s flame
2. God (the Divine/Mystery) is too big for any one metaphor
· Direct experience of mystery and of gratitude
· Wisdom from the world’s religious
· Wisdom from the Jewish and Christian struggle to understand God
3. Our Unitarian Universalist covenant
· Living individually and collectively as part of covenanting community
· Responsibilities to others and to the earth
· Responsibility to act upon our principles; to give back

How?

Eight-to-eleven-year-olds participate in Children’s Worship, and in small-group sessions. Small groups engage in social action, reflecting on service in the light of UU faith. All groups act as covenanting communities. Children’s worship stories draw from UU heritage and from wisdom of other religions. Direct experience of mystery and wonder is a goal of both worship and small groups.

Eleven-to-thirteen-year-olds assist in leading Children’s Worship, as well as attending. They also do “field tripping,” visiting other faith communities and engaging in social-action projects.

Milestones/Rituals

Ceremony to give each child a copy of the UUA principles and sources. Ceremony to take place at the end of the seventh year of the program (at the end of grade five).

Those who are entering grade six (or equivalent age, for home schoolers) are invited to join Junior Youth Group. Ceremony to mark entry into Junior Youth Group.

Third Task: Thinking about Oneself and One’s Faith
Youth twelve to fifteen years old

Fourth Task: Deeper Reflection, testing of faith against the ambiguities and difficulties of life
Youth aged fifteen and older through adulthood

Small Group Ministry Model for Religious Education

All Souls Sunday Session for Children and Family

Children’s Worship for All Souls Sunday, October 28, 2001
Altar: leaves, chrysanthemums, and orange tablecloth, bowl of candles, chalice, bowl of mustard seed.
Prelude: children’s hand bells (Tune: Jacob’s Ladder)
Chalice Lighting: Life is a gift for which we are grateful. We gather in community to celebrate the glories and the mysteries of this great gift.
Reading (in three voices)
From Many Winters by Nancy Woods
You shall ask
A: What good are dead leaves? And 1 will tell you
B: They nourish the sore earth. You shall ask
A: What reason is therefore winter? And I will tell you
B: To bring about new leaves. You shall ask
A: Why are the leaves so green? And I will tell you
B: Because they are rich with life.
You shall ask
A: Why must summer end? And I will tell you
B: So that the leaves can die.

This time of the year, when the days grow darker and colder, is a time when we are all very aware of death. The leaves have died and fallen; we wear Halloween costumes of ghosts and other spirits; we hang skeletons on our doors. These things are part of Halloween, to be sure, but they are also part of a much older and very important holiday. Although it has other names, the Universalists called it All Souls Day. It is a day when we remember those we love who have died. It seems especially important right now to remember those friends and family members, both humans and animals, who have died this year.

Why do we take the time to remember? And why do we do it here in church, gathered together in our worship service?

I'd like to answer that by telling a story. Like the other stories I have been telling this month, this is a story from the Buddhist tradition.

Story: The Mustard Seed Medicine

This is why we come together to mark All Souls Day. We remember that each of us has times of sadness, and each of us has times when we grieve the death of someone close to us. It is in coming together, in sharing our sadness, in knowing that others understand our feelings and miss their loved ones as well, that we are comforted.
Today we name the people that you would like to remember. I'll read the list out loud, lighting a candle for each of them. At the end of the list, if you have people to add, you may mention them as well.
Candles of Remembrance

Meditation
Sit straight up in your chair or sit cross-legged on the floor so that you can breathe well. Close your eyes.
Take a couple of long, slow, deep breaths. Now, take a cleansing breath... as you breathe out, imagine that you are breathing out all of the things that disappointed or discouraged you last week.
Now, slowly breathe in, imagining that you are breathing in hope.
Now take another cleansing breath and breathe out sadness and pain... Then imagine that you are breathing in love and healing...
Now breathe out stress...And breathe in peace and calm..
Sit quietly with your eyes closed for a few more minutes.
When you are ready, open your eyes.

Song: A little more Oil in my Lamp (taught by the Reverend Ruth Gibson)
A little more oil in my lamp to keep it burning,
A little more oil in my lamp, I pray.
A little more oil in my lamp to keep it burning.
Keep it burning through the night and the day.
A little more love in my heart to keep me growing,
A little more love in my heart I pray.
A little more love in my heart to keep me growing,
Keep me growing through the night and the day.

A little more joy in my heart to keep me laughing.
A little more joy in my heart I pray.
A little more joy in my heart to keep me laughing.
Keep me laughing through the night and the day.
A little more peace in the world to keep it turning.
A little more peace in the world I pray.
A little more peace in the world to keep it turning.
Keep it turning through the night and the day.

Prayer:

Spirit of Life, God of Love,
We pause today to remember those whom we love who have died.
We remember our special times with them, their faces, their voices, their laughter and the times when they were grumpy.
We remember them, and we are sad at the great loss we have experienced.
This year, we also are sad about the deaths of people we did not know. We remember those who died in New York City, Washington, and Pennsylvania on September 11. We also remember those people of Afghanistan who have died because they are caught up in a war they did not create.
Help us to realize on this All Souls Day that in our sadness we are not alone. Help us to remind others when they are sad that they are not alone.

Help us to remember that we are joined together with others, here in this church and all over the world, wishing for comfort in time of sadness, and wishing for peace in the world.

We will all know death many times in our lives.May we be comforted in knowing that others understand, and can offer us kindness when our hearts are sad.

And may be also know that life will go on, and that, although we will always miss those who have died, the sadness will lessen as time goes on.

And may we remember always to grow our souls by being the hands and feet, voices and hearts, of the Spirit of Love in this world.
Amen.

Hymn: We Are Dancing the Year's Circle (tune: Jacob's Ladder)
We are dancing the year’s circle (3 times) Sisters, brothers all.
Spring to summer, fall to winter (3 times) Brothers, sisters all.
Dark to light and light to darkness (3 times) Sisters, brothers all.
Birth to death and death to birth (3 times) Brother, sisters all.
Benediction

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
All groups should begin with some kind of check-in. One possible check-in is to ask about Halloween plans. Those in grades six through eight might want to tell about the Haunted House.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

Grades One to Two

Divide group in half and ask children if they have ever had someone they love (or a pet) die. Ask each child to tell something about that person or pet.
What do you do when someone you know has had a death in his or her family? (Cards, words of comfort, bringing food, going to a service, being especially kind)
Please read the plans for grades three to five in case children ask you questions about death. If they don’t ask theological questions, I advise sticking with a discussion of response to loss and grief (as above).

Grades Three to Five

Use the same questions as with grades one and two. This age group may have more experience with death and with the rituals following death than the younger ones, and they may not! They will probably have questions about what happens when someone dies. For the theological questions, e.g., “Is there a heaven?” you can state what you believe, but tell the children that other people have different beliefs. Ask them what they think. For the practical questions, e.g., “What happens at a funeral?”, you can simply tell them what your experiences have been and ask if any children have gone to a funeral. Encourage them to ask their parents the same questions they have asked you.

Grades Six to Eight

Ask the questions for grades one and two. This group will probably want to ask both practical and theological questions (see plans for grades three to five). Do not hide what you believe, SHARE IT. DO, however, be sure to allow for other points of view among the youth. Some may be aware of their parents’ points of view on these issues.
Practical responses to death and grief are extremely important for this age group. Ask them to talk about what you say and do when someone has had a death in the family (Say, “I’m sorry,” send a card, go to the service, bring food.) Help them understand that they should respond to the loss, not ignore it. This is the compassionate thing to do.

CARRYING OUR FAITH INTO THE WORLD
Remind them that responding to death and grief is a part of carrying our faith into the world.

WISHES/APPRECIATION and CLOSURE
Ask what they appreciated about the morning?
What would have made the morning even better?

Restore the space by picking up and putting things away.