Balancing Acts
Keeping Children and Youth Safe
Although the primary purpose of this manual is to help congregations deal
with a
known sex offender, that alone does not keep children safe. It is often the
case that the sex offender that is known and who has been through treatment
is not the person who is most likely to sexually abuse children in your congregation.
It is the person that we don’t know, but who has children’s trust,
that can pose the greatest threat.
In defining our responsibility to the children and youth we serve, the 1995
UUA Congregational Handbook said:
“Adults working with children and youth in the context of our Unitarian
Universalist faith have a crucial and privileged role, one that can carry
a great deal of power and influence. Whether acting as a youth advisor, chaperone,
child care worker, teacher, choir director, minister, or in any other role,
adults have a special opportunity to interact with young people in ways that
are affirming and inspiring to young people and adults…while it is important
that adults be capable of meaningful friendships with the young people with
whom they work, adults must exercise good judgment and mature wisdom in using
their influence with children and young adults and refrain from using young
people to fulfill their own needs. Young people are in a vulnerable position
when dealing with adults and may find it difficult to speak out about inappropriate
behavior by adults….adult religious leaders need to be people who…have
a social network outside of their religious education responsibility in which
to meet their own needs for friendship, affirmation and self esteem, are willing
and able to seek assistance from colleagues and religious professionals when
they become aware of a situation that requires expert help or intervention.”
Creating Safe Congregations:
Toward an Ethic of Right Relations Workbook is the primary resource for
this issue.
Taking into account the facts and circumstances of each situation, there are
basic questions that can guide congregational policy development and implementation
- What will your policy be regarding involvement of a person who has been
convicted of an act of sexual misconduct in religious education for children
and youth, children’s worship, events for children, or youth group activities?
- What process will you follow if it is disclosed that sexual abuse of a
child has possibly occurred by either a staff member of the church or a volunteer
at the church working with children? By whom and how shall such allegations
be reported to the police and Child Protective Services, as required by state
law?
- What will your policies be regarding adult supervision? How will you implement
a policy requiring a minimum of two adults present at all times in each classroom,
at youth group meetings, and other events involving children and youth in
the church? How will you assure that this policy works and works well for
you? Consider having the Religious Educator and/or chair or member(s) of the
RE committee circulate among classrooms on Sunday mornings, partially to assure
that this policy is in effect. What will you do when a teacher or leader calls
to say they will not be able to be present as planned? What process will you
use so that the other teacher or leader can recruit an appropriate adult to
stay in the room during the class? Will you determine that classes will generally
not take place with only one adult present?
- How will you screen prospective employees and potential volunteers? Develop
and use a Screening Form that includes the necessary information for a background
or other appropriate record check to be performed. This should be done for
all persons who will be working with children and youth – both those
seeking employment and for volunteers. (Your local police department can provide
you with information for your state on how to conduct a background check.)
A sample screening form is found in
the appendix.
Every employee and every volunteer who comes in contact with children and
youth needs to receive a copy of the safe congregation policy, ethics policy,
and sexual harassment policy. Review those policies with every individual
who will be teaching. The UUA recommends doing background checks on all employees
and volunteers who will be working with children and youth. It is essential
that this be done if items are checked on the screening form that raises the
possibility of past abusive histories.
The use of a Screening Form in and of itself may well deter a pedophile from
further attempts to volunteer or work at the congregation. Most pedophiles
will look for places with easy access to children; this type of screening
form indicates that your congregation is not such a place.
- Every employee and every volunteer who works with children and youth will
annually review and sign the Agreement
to Teach Form and the congregation’s Code of Ethics for Adults Working
with Children and Youth. One such policy is included in the Forms and Samples
section of this manual
- What policies will you develop and implement for persons new to the congregation
who wish to be involved in ministries with children and/or youth? All persons
volunteering to work with children and youth will have been associated with
the congregation for a minimum of one year. Exceptions may be made only by
the Religious Educator in consultation with the minister upon recommendation
of a minister or Religious Educator at another congregation where the volunteer
has provided such services.
- What plans for regular training of adults working with children and youth
will you develop and implement? At a minimum, every person, whether employee
or volunteer, who works or comes in contact with children and youth, will
attend an annual training on child sexual abuse prevention and reporting requirements.
This training will include:
- Definition of child abuse
- Sexual and physical abuse symptoms
- Basics of child sexual development and expected behaviors by age
- What constitutes inappropriate touch and behaviors
- Congregation’s safe policies and ethics policy
- Rationale behind screening procedures
- Reporting procedures for observed or suspect child abuse and child sexual
abuse
- Review of the congregation’s Code of Ethics for Adults Working
with Children and Youth
- What policies will you develop and implement regarding the screening and
training of preteens and teenagers who work with children in Religious Education
programs and/or provide child care for congregation events? Ideally, all of
our child care providers would have Red Cross or similar babysitting training.
Like with adults, teens and preteens should only provide child care in pairs
or even larger groups. Information about sexual abuse should be part of their
annual training, including the damage that inappropriate sexual touching does
to a child and the consequences for the child care provider who engages in
inappropriate touching of a child. Teen and preteen potential child care providers
need to know that if they feel tempted to touch a child sexually, they must
tell a grown up who can help them. Attention to this in the pre-service training
may help screen out young people who might sexually act out or propel them
to get help.
- Relationships between adult advisors and teens should also be discussed
in youth advisor trainings. Relationships of advisor/advisee and mentor/mentee
are important to the faith development of youth. However, friendships between
advisers and youth should be discouraged. An unhealthy relationship initiated
by a sex offender may masquerade as a mentor or friend relationship. The Pacific
Southwest District Child and Youth Protection Requirements, state that “if
you wish to be in contact with a youth outside the normal channels of district-sponsored
events, it is imperative that your behavior both be and appear to be above
reproach. Any relationship you develop with a youth outside of district-sponsored
events must be with the knowledge and consent of the parents. Furthermore,
you shall let an appropriate member of the district know what you are doing…Notify
the youth’s minister, or religious education leader, or society president.
This is for the protection of the youth from potential predators, but also
for your own protection. You will best protect yourself from false accusations
of misconduct by keeping the district and the parents informed of your actions.”
Such a policy could be adapted to apply to events or activities outside of
the congregation as well.
>> Educating Children for Prevention >>
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