Balancing Acts

Guidelines for Involving Sex Offenders

Introduction

The third key component of a commitment to keep children, youth, and vulnerable adults safe in our congregations is developing policies and procedures to use when a person who is a known pedophile or a sex offender wants to be part of the congregation or an existing member is accused of a sexual offense. It is best to think through these policies and procedures in advance of facing a crisis. Just because this situation has not come to your congregation’s attention yet, does not mean that you shouldn’t be thinking about it. Given the prevalence of child sexual abuse, it is especially important to try to be prepared in advance.

According to the federal Center for Sex Offender Management, “the criminal justice system manages most convicted sex offenders with some combination of incarceration, community supervision, and specialized treatment…the majority are released at some point on probation or parole (either following sentencing or after a period of incarceration in prison or jail.) About 60% of offenders managed by the U.S. correctional system are under some form of conditional supervision in the community.”^[xiii] And many of them want to attend worship and participate in the life of a faith community. In fact, attendance and membership in a local congregation may be encouraged by their treatment provider and parole supervisor, often to cut down on their social isolation.

There are those who believe that a convicted sex offender never belongs in one of our communities. In fact, one of the ministers I interviewed for this manual was quite clear about this: “I told the Board that they could have the minister or the pedophile. Not both.” A former Director of Ministry for the UUA, took this position in a 1991 article, “my own bias is this, based on what I know now – that an identified pedophile should not be part of congregational life. They must cease any physical presence.”^[xiv]

This manual offers information and guidance for congregations wishing to consider including a person with a history (or an accusation) of sexual abuse. This manual also offers resources for inclusion such as a sample Limited Access Agreement. A review of the literature on sex offenders, interviews with congregations that have successfully integrated a convicted sex offender into adult worship and education, and a theological commitment to the dignity and worth of all people, even those that have committed morally repugnant acts, suggest that inclusion is possible. And each congregation faced with this situation will make its own decision about what is right given the particular facts and circumstances.

Peer reviewed literature suggests that, depending on the nature of the offense and assuming successful completion of treatment, most treated sex offenders do not recidivate. As religious communities, we can provide compassion, support, and reconciliation to those who truly have indicated that they have changed and have taken responsibility for their actions. We believe in the healing power of involvement in a spiritual home, and in the words of one affirmation heard in many Unitarian Universalist congregations, “to seek the truth in love and help one another.” Sex offenders who have completed prison sentences and mandated treatment as well as registered with the state have according to the court system complied with their punishments. As faith-based communities, we can provide support and compassion with awareness and vigilance so that all are safe as those who have sexually offended return to or join our church community. A Case Study: A Sex Offender in Church discusses how one congregation has faced these issues and is follows the list of Resources at the end of this document.

In many ways, the person with a history of sex offenses has the same needs for a faith community as the rest of us. But the sex offender needs more to assure that his involvement doesn’t pose risks to the congregation and that standards are in place for protection against false allegations and suspicions. “Such involvement needs to include helping him manage his behavior and not get into situations which in the past led to offences…an offender who truly wishes to participate in the life of the church, who realizes the extent of his crime and the difficulty his presence may cause to survivors, and who is truly committed to a new life will understand and accept the need for the imposition of restrictions…”

But in order to do so safely, we must assure that the convicted sex offender does not have the opportunity in our congregations to re-offend again. This includes avoiding situations where they can be accused falsely. The fact is that a person with a history of sex offense against children should never be allowed to be with children, work with children and youth, or socialize with children at the congregation. No person who has been convicted of, or with an unresolved accusation of, any sexual misconduct can be permitted to be involved in any religious education or youth group activities.

The core response of the congregation to a convicted or accused sex offender is a Limited Access Agreement. This agreement invites the person with a history of sex offenses to participate in certain aspects of congregational life, setting clear boundaries including what the individual will not do. Typically a Limited Access Agreement will specify participation in adult worship services, coffee hour, committee meetings, adult education, all-adult social events, and well-supervised intergenerational events as acceptable. It asks the person to avoid all contact with children on congregation property or congregation-sponsored events. This includes not talking with children, volunteering or chaperoning children’s events, including children’s religious education classes, talks with children during worship, and children’s activities during intergenerational events. It generally requires the person to remain in the presence of an adult who knows their situation at all times when children are present, including in some cases, asking the person to suggest a group of people to act as companions at church events where children may be present. It denies the person access to keys to the building and asks them to avoid being in the building unsupervised when activities involving children are in session, such as nursery school or youth group. The sample Limited Access Agreement that can be modified based on the feedback of the committee and the individual circumstances of the offender, can be found in the Appendix of this document. It includes two introductory paragraphs: one for a person who has been accused of a sexual offense, the other for someone who has been convicted. It’s available in check list format as well. The message to the sex offender should be that they are both welcome to participate in adult worship, adult social, and adult educational activities and that they must covenant with the congregation to avoid all contact with children.

Many congregations already have policies on how to deal with disruptive behaviors including

• perceived threats to the safety of other members
• disruption of church activities
• diminishing appeal of the church to its current and potential members

In general, these policies first ask the minister to meet with the offending individual to address the concern. If the behavior continues, the offending individual may be asked to leave the congregation for a period of time, with reasons for suspension and conditions of return made clear. Individuals are generally not excluded from the congregation completely except by agreement of the Board of Trustees and the Minister, who will communicate the decision.

In the words of one policy, we strive “to be an inclusive community, affirming our differences in beliefs, opinions, and life experiences. However, concern for the safety and well-being of the congregation as a whole must be given priority over the privileges and inclusion of the individual. To the degree the disruption compromises the health of this congregation, our actions as a people of faith must reflect this emphasis on security.”

If your congregation already has a policy for dealing with disruptive behavior it can be amended to include a section addressing the inclusion of sex offenders as many of the same conditions apply. It is good practice for a congregation to develop a draft of a Limited Access Agreement or check list that can be a template when a situation arises.

There are generally a few ways that the presence of a convicted sex offender becomes known in a congregation. In an ideal world, a person with this background would come to the minister before they started coming to the congregation to discuss limits on their participation. Sex offender treatment specialists often encourage their clients to do just that. One community facing this issue wrote, “The Board’s response to this situation would have been made easier if, before becoming so deeply involved in church activities, the individual had approached our church, explained his situation, asked whether there was some arrangement under which he could participate, and then awaited our response.”

This is probably not often the case. In some cases, people reveal their backgrounds to the ministers. In other circumstances, another congregant may discover a congregant’s history of sexual offenses. Congregants should know that in these cases they should make their concern known to the minister. In other cases, someone may see a familiar name on the sex offender registry. Or, perhaps it becomes known that a long standing member of the congregation has been accused of a sexual offense.

Steps to Take

1. No matter how the situation is revealed, the minister as quickly as possible should meet privately with the individual to discuss the concerns that have been raised. The minister may want to check the local sex offender registry before meeting with the person. (If the minister is the one being accused, this manual and these steps do not apply. Instead, the President of the Board should be contacted immediately and the president should contact the Director for Congregational Services at the UUA and/or the District Executive serving the congregation.) If the person is a member of the congregation and has a partner who also attends the church, then the minister should reach out to the partner as well.
    
2. If the minister determines that there is genuine cause for the concern, the person should then be asked to meet with the hopefully pre-existing Sexual Misconduct and Abuse Response Team (hereinto referred to as the Response Team). If such a team does not exist, the Minister in consultation with the President of the Board of Trustees, should convene such a group, consisting of the minister, the Religious Educator, and if possible at least three members of the congregation who have professional expertise with this issue.
    
3. The individual should be asked to sign a release form so that the minister can contact his/her sex offender treatment provider and/or current therapist. Ask if those people are members of ATSA, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers. The therapist and, if applicable, the parole officer should be asked for their professional assessment of the likelihood that the sex offender will re-offend and whether additional restrictions beyond the standard Limited Access Agreement ought to be placed on the person’s participation. It will be helpful to know the number, timing and nature of offenses. Such information allows consideration of different situations. For example, an 18 year old male who had sex with his 16 year old girlfriend and against whom her parents pressed charges or the person who has served time in jail for sex offenses against neighborhood children. In the second scenario, if the person has been in the community for some time and has previously completed mandated treatment, the committee would be wise to ask the person to go for a professional assessment with a therapist who specializes in working with sex offenders. The congregation may choose to provide the funding for this assessment. If the offender refuses permission to contact the therapist or refuses to go for an assessment, the congregation would be right to refuse participation in any congregation activity. For more information on this issue, go to Reasons for Excluding a Person from All Congregation Activities.
   
   It is beyond the scope and experience of congregations to assess the risk or probability that a sex offender will re-offend. According to the Center for Sex Offender Management, even therapists with special training in treating sex offenders can be wrong. They write, “There are no absolutes or magic bullets in identifying these risk factors. Rather, this process is an exercise in isolating factors that are associated with specific behaviors. While this association reflects likelihood, it does not say that all individuals who possess certain characteristics will behave in a certain manner. Some offenders will inevitably commit subsequent sex offenses…likewise not all sex offenders who have re-offense characteristics will recidivate.”^[xvi]
   
   The question the Response Team (or other responsible entity in the congregation) must be able to answer is this: given what professionals have advised you, will this person sign and obey a Limited Access Agreement that they can maintain with the leadership in order to assure the safety of children and youth?
    
4. If the assessment indicates that the person has completed or is participating successfully in treatment and is not at high risk for recidivism, the Response Team may choose to develop a Limited Access Agreement. If the professional assessment indicates that the person is at high risk for re-offending, it is appropriate to deny that person involvement in the faith community until treatment is successful at reducing the risk. One denomination that has developed a resource for assisting congregations in making these decisions recommends that “a small group should be set up, consisting of approximately five persons, including the minister, persons who have agreed to offer pastoral support for the offender, and accompany them in worship and other church activities, someone with expertise or experience in this field, and someone to represent the wider church community. The group should acquaint itself with any therapeutic program the offender has undergone or will continue to be part of. The group should meet the offender, their probation officer, and other appropriate people so that clear boundaries can be established for the protection of children and youth and to reduce the likelihood of false allegations or suspicions. This group will, at best, operate alongside other agencies in a multi-agency approach to the offender’s rehabilitation.” Meeting with the other support people in the offender’s life – their family, therapist, probation officer – can powerfully demonstrate the faith community’s desire to support the person and hold them accountable. If the person has a partner in the community, that person should be involved in developing the Limited Access Agreement as well.
   
   It is important to point out that a person with a commitment to avoiding future abuses will welcome the opportunity for controls on their behaviors. Stop It Now! writes, “You can show your support of the abuser’s willingness to live a different life that keeps children safe. Your support and watchfulness can help in his or her recovery. It is also a chance to let the abuser know that you are aware of the past and are watching his or her actions today.”
   
   All persons with past histories of sexual offenses should be asked to sign a Limited Access Agreement or Check List. Upon entry into the congregation and depending on the circumstances, the person may be asked to sign one annually. If the offender refuses to do so, it is then appropriate to deny the person access to congregation functions and church property. An offender who refuses to sign a Limited Access Agreement should know that if they enter the congregation or its property, they will be asked to leave by a member of the Response Team or the Board of Trustees. If the person further refuses, the local police will be called for assistance.
    
5. The Response Team should meet at least quarterly with any individual with whom it has a Limited Access Agreement to review the arrangement and address any concerns. If the minister or the Religious Educator changes, as well as the chair of the Board of Trustees, it is important that the departing person inform the new person of this situation to ensure provision of pastoral support for the offender as well as continuity of awareness of the situation. In sharing information appropriately it is also important to remain aware of confidentiality and privacy for all involved. Copies of files including Limited Access Agreement information should be treated with care, and kept in a secure file drawer.
   

   Reasons for Excluding a Person from All Congregation Activities Refusal for the minister to contact the treatment provider and parole officer. Refusal to go for a risk assessment with a qualified therapist. Report by a treatment provider that the individual is at too high risk for recidivism. Refusal to sign a Limited Access Agreement. Refusal to comply with the requirements of the Limited Access Agreement. Once an individual decides that they can comply with these conditions, the process would begin again to reassess the individual and see if they could be welcomed into the life of the congregation anew.

   
   If and when legal questions arise, the minister and/or Board President should contact a lawyer who can provide information and advice informed by local and state statutes that apply.
    
6. Decide who needs to know. One of the very important and difficult questions is who needs to know that a congregant has a history of sex offense. Clearly, key people, including the Minister, the Religious Educator, the Chair of the Board and the Response Team need to know that the person is attending church, that he or she has agreed not to have contact with children, has signed a Limited Access Agreement or check list, and that he or she should never be alone with children and adolescents.
   
   According to the Methodist Church of the United Kingdom, “there is much to be said for explaining the circumstances to the whole congregation, to promote understanding and support for the individual but also to ensure that church members do not unwittingly allow children contact with the individual concerned. However, this needs to be weighed against any need for confidentiality or pastoral sensitivity…the need to know must be balanced with the danger that the offender may be hounded out of the community (to his detriment and to the greater danger of the other children if he decides to maintain a low profile next time around.)^[xix] One congregation has devised a policy in between: the congregation knows the policies that have been developed to keep children safe. The name of a particular person with a history of sexual offending is known to the minister and the Religious Educator. The minister will share that name with any parent who requests it in a private meeting. The Board of Trustees in grappling with the issue of sex offenders in the congregation will want to make the decision about how confidentiality will be handled, and it is that decision that should be communicated to the entire congregation.

Youth Who May be Abusers

One of the most difficult possible situations is when a teenager or child in the congregation has been accused of inappropriately sexually touching a child in the congregation. The difficulty is that in some cases these children may simply be acting on their sexual feelings impulsively, not quite understanding the importance of boundaries, whereas in other cases, youth and children who engage in sexual activity with younger children may become future adult offenders. If an older child forces sex on a younger child or exposes his or her genitals to a younger child, both of these children will need professional help. If an older child demonstrates inappropriate sexual interest in younger children that doesn’t extend to these behaviors, there may or may not be cause for congregational involvement. However, “any child who engages in sex play with a much younger child, or children who coerce or force someone to engage in sex, is beyond normal sexual exploration. If a child is being used in any way to meet the sexual needs of another, then it is sexual abuse.”^[xx] And some children who behave this way are acting out their own history of sexual abuse.

After such an incident comes to the attention of the minister or other staff member, the minister should initiate contact individually with the parents of both children to discuss the allegation and next steps. In both of the congregations that I spoke to where this had happened, the ministers reported that the parents had simply stopped coming to the congregation rather than seeking help for their children and support from the faith community during what is surely a difficult time.

The minister should encourage the parents of the child who was touched to seek an evaluation for this child. Some children may seem unchanged by the incident. However, a child who has been sexually abused, according to Stop It Now!, “needs specialized help and attention to heal from this abuse” through treatment with a specialist, “otherwise he or she might be at risk for further abuse or for showing abusing behaviors.” However, with treatment and support, the risk of either further abuse or for abusing is dramatically decreased. Contact the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (ATSA) or the Safer Society Foundation for referrals if you don’t have a local list of therapists with expertise in this area.^[xxi]

The parents of the child who initiated the sexual contact need to be engaged more thoroughly in discussions about next steps. Depending on the state law and the nature of the incident, it may be necessary to call Child Protective Services. Regardless, before the initiator is allowed to continue to attend religious education, this child should receive an extensive assessment by a child psychologist or psychiatrist with experience with children with sexual behavior problems. It is NOT the responsibility of the minister or the response team to decide if abuse has occurred, but rather to assure that such assessment does take place.

While this review is occurring, it is important that the child’s religious education teacher be informed of the allegation and for the parents to agree to closely monitor their child before and after the religious education program. It may make sense to remove the child from religious education during this time. It would certainly be prudent for the child not to be allowed unsupervised time with other children until the assessment is complete.

The minister will need to decide if the situation warrants the involvement of the entire Response Team and at what point. If the evaluation finds that this was simply a case of inappropriate boundaries or impulsive behavior, and with the recommendation of the therapist that the child can safely attend church functions with other children, the minister and the parents can meet with the child to discuss the importance of never repeating the behavior, the harm it can do to other children, and the consequences should such a situation occur again.

On the other hand, if the treatment provider reports that the child has a sexual behavior problem that is likely to be repetitive, the minister, the Religious Educator, the response team, and the parents need to meet to decide how and if the child can safely be involved with the Religious Education or Youth Group program. A modified Limited Access Agreement should be developed and signed by both the child and the parents. In some cases, it may be necessary to deny the young person continued involvement with other children until treatment is completed and to consider alternative ways to provide religious education, such as through individual sessions with a Religious Educator or home schooling.

In some situations, a family will want to bring a child who has been treated for sexual offenses back into the congregation after treatment is completed. In such cases, the steps for involving an adult offender can be followed, including a Limited Access Agreement signed by both the youth and their parents.

In any of these cases, pastoral care and support for the families involved is crucial. This will be very difficult for the parents involved, and they will need the support of their church community, especially the minister and the Religious Educator. Helping them to feel welcome and supported is essential, as is the ongoing offer of ministry.

>> Background Information on Child Abuse, Pedophilia, and Sex Offenders >>

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