Lately, I've found myself thinking a lot about those old issues of freedom and license. As a child of the nineteen sixties, I'm slightly inclined to the license part. I like thinking as I please. I like acting as I please. And, I don't like thinking about consequences.

Of course, that can be a dangerous game. One of the people I really liked as a youth was the English spiritual interpreter of things Eastern, Alan Watts. He wrote what I believe was the very first book I ever read on Zen. It was more or less a popularization of the rather more dense writings of the Japanese scholar D. T. Suzuki. And it was, for its time, a very good introduction. However, Watts had a continuing hidden agenda in his various writings on Zen and other Eastern spiritualities. That agenda was what I would characterize as Watts' penchant for license.

He believed that all those East Asian spiritual traditions, and particularly Zen, were about spontaneity. By this, as near as I can tell, he seemed to mean doing his own thing. (A very sixties term, don't you think?) In this he inclined to the spirit of license, very much. At least it seems so to me. When I met him near the end of his career he was soaked to the gills and nipping at a flask. His eyes were a nightmare to behold. No doubt alcoholism was a major contributor to his death. He followed his own way, to hell with the consequences.

Of course in the real world there are always consequences. For me Watts decline into an alcoholic haze was a consequence of his not believing in any kind of restraints. There can, obviously, be many other factors involved. But, here I see a corollary between his following any desire unchecked and the consequence of drinking too heavily for too long. I found Watts' end a harsh presentation of the truth of causality.

We are all connected. What is done affects or effects many things. I suppose there may be actions without consequences, small or great, but I can't really imagine what such an action might be. In my experience everything I do has a consequence, or many. And for me, the Alan Watts I encountered at the beginning of my spiritual quest was a manifested warning. One I hope I've not ever forgotten.

This is a very important lesson because we are not autonomous beings, as much as my childhood sixties anarchy might wish it to be otherwise. We are connected. The world is a shimmering web of relationships. We owe our being to others. We owe our existence to others. We can never divorce ourselves from the world and the vast web of relationships. Not without dying, anyway.

So, if there is license, and that means irresponsible self-centered actions, what's left? Well, here I think we come upon the realities of freedom. Freedom starts with our knowing who we are. I look within. You look within. We, each of us, examines our inner life, our desires, our longings. We look to our motivations and the real situation rather than simply surrendering to our appetites. Should we do this reflecting, we may find our lives are in fact situated within ever greater relationships. We have our families. We have our church. We have our communities. All are important. And, all have something to do with what we are.

And, I really believe freedom grows out of our knowing these connections. When we truly understand ourselves and the web of relationships, then our actions are informed by the pervasive realities of love. Then our actions take on the creative energies of those who care. Here we find a little humility. Here we find a hesitation to judge. But, also here we know we must act. Because, we are connected, and what we do and what we refrain from doing all has that great cascade of consequence.

Of course knowing ourselves more fully, and clearly looking at our relationships may cause us to break off unhealthy relationships, and to seek new or more healthful relationships. Freedom comes with responsibility. We do need to act in this world of motion. We need to make choices. And, we need to know there are consequences.

When we do this, I genuinely believe, we can open a door to a mature world, one where our choices do have grace about them. A new and precious world awaits our informed activity. When we do this we come close to manifesting the holy. And, that I think is a worthwhile endeavor. Certainly, it is worth our close consideration.

And this, I believe, is where we find our true freedom.

Don't you think?

See you in church,

James