Vacation is that time when we get away from it all. We are spending a week hiking in Yellowstone National Park, looking at geysers, fumaroles, mud pots and naturally Old Faithful. A peaceful tranquility prevails. The sheer natural beauty of snow, sun, waterfalls, pine trees, and majestic mountains make this time sacred, this place a sanctuary. Here, I am reminded of the bounty, the gifts, the joy and the happiness of my life.

One evening, sitting in front of a roaring fire and watching the snow, we decided to turn on the TV - curious to see what the rest of the world was doing. Our tranquility was instantly shattered.

In horror, we learned about the Trench Coat Mafia; Columbine High, and the devastating massacre. Local Denver stations are on the cable here. They offer non-stop coverage of the unfolding agony of the tragedy. I find myself glued to the tube, listening and worrying.

While the world wonders why, and while authorities search for answers, I weep tears of sorrow .... for the families of the murdered students and teacher; for the kids who were forced to watch the horror, for the teachers, for the community that was stunned into reality and for us all.

I also weep for young Eric and Dylan, the two boys who turned so viciously violent. Yes, clearly they were villains, but they were victims as well and my heart goes out to their families who will spend the rest of their lives living with what their sons, or brothers, or grandsons, or nephews did.

I listen to the many "experts" place blame on the families and think, "Who is ministering to Eric and Dylan's parents?" Their families are being branded villains - society's scapegoats. Already one of the families has received death threats. They too are victims and my heart aches for them as well.

In the weeks ahead another horror is going to happen. People, desperate for answers, will want to make schools "safe" by increasing police presence and security screening devices. People will demand restricted access to the Internet. I think that is the wrong approach. Columbine High has 85 outside doors. There is no realistic way to safeguard such a school. Restricting the internet is futile. Becoming a police state isn't the answer, but already political, community and religious leaders are demanding heightened security and increased censorship. Such approaches offer only an illusion of safety and lull us into feeling protected. It is not the path we need to be taking.

We must focus attention in two other directions. First, we must restrict the easy availability of guns. Gun control must be part of any solution. But organizations like the National Rifle Association have a hold on our country. Our "right to bear arms" is killing too many people. Why are we the only industrial nation that doesn't have stiff gun control?

Second, we must get to the root of the problems - and find ways to help boys work through their angst and anger in ways that are appropriate. We must listen to the subtle hints boys may be giving us about their own struggles, pains and agonies.

We must assure our boys that they are loved, wanted, appreciated and let them be part of the larger community - especially those boys who feel outside the mainstream.

Strange, many of us felt outside the mainstream growing up, how can we lend a helping hand? What did we learn that we can share? What responsibility would we carry if one of our youngsters became an Eric or Dylan?

What can we do?

I sent a message to our congregation in Littleton - the UU church is just two blocks from Columbine High - offering our collective prayers and to let them know we grieve with them.

I think we need to offer a wonderful R.E. curriculum called "Coming of Age". It is a one-on-one mentoring program (one adult with one young person) aimed at junior high age students. It is one way young boys and girls can receive love, trust, understanding. My hunch is that there are, among us, volunteers who would step forward to serve as a mentor in the Coming of Age curriculum.

It has been a tough week. I think above all else, we need one another in such times. We need our community and we need to hug our children over and over again to assure them of our love.

See you in church, friends.

Douglas Morgan Strong