I have a problem. Maybe you can help me.

I donıt believe in coincidences. Life sometime throws us a situation. If we donıt handle it correctly, life keeps throwing it back at us until we get it right. I think Iım caught in one now. Here is whatıs happening:

Pacific Bell directory assistance is giving my phone number out as belonging to other people. I tried calling them and reporting the error. But no matter who I called or what I said, I always ended up in an endless loop of phone recordings ("Press 7 if you want to report a problem." "Press 3 if it is a residential line." "Press 6 if it is your own line." "Press 7 if you want to report a problem." Etc. Etc.)

After 45 minutes, I figured it was easier to just answer a few wrong numbers.

About a week ago, I began to get calls from a very sweet voice that asked, "Hello, is Rama there?"

I explained, "No, Iım sorry. There is no Rama here. I think you have the wrong number."

After 4 or 5 of these, something about it struck me. In Hinduism, Rama is one of the names for God. So here I am, a preacher in a new community getting calls for God and I am answering, "Sorry. There is no God here."

Maybe the calls are continuing because I am not giving the correct answer. Maybe I should say, "Yes, Rama is here." But then sheıll want to speak to him. What would I do then?

Or when she calls I could give a Quakerly, "Yes. There is a bit of Rama is in each of us." Would that help?

Or maybe I should respond with an atheistic, "Rama is just a myth." That might stop it.

Or perhaps the philosophically correct response is, "That depends on how you define ŒRamaı." But that doesnıt sound forthcoming enough.

Maybe I should treat it as an unanswerable Zen koan and say forcefully, "I Donıt Know!"

A good Unitarian Universalist, response might be, "I donıt believe heıs here. But if you believe he is, Iım sure heıs a wonderful person." But Iım not sure that is a correct application of our principles.

Iıve almost decided to fall back on an old technique: "Iıll form a committee and let you know in a few months." But that will only buy me time, not really answer the question.

So if any of you have some ideas, Iıd appreciate it if youıd drop me a note. What would you say if someone called you on the phone or looked you in the eyes and asked sweetly, "Is God there?"

-- Doug